The Journal of Harley Quinn OR My Descent Into Madness
by onceuponatimelady
Summary: Dr. Harleen Quinzel is a relatively new psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum, and she is about to start the most intriguing case of her career. She will fall down the rabbithole of desire and psychosis, transforming herself into the Queen of Gotham City. In the Joker she finds all she has ever wanted and more. In herself she finds just how dark her desires can get. HQxJ DD/LG BDSM AU
1. Chapter 1

I suppose it's time to take my own advice. I'm constantly encouraging my patients to journal, yet I've never actually done it. Let me tell you a little about myself.

My name is Harleen Quinzel. Dr. Harleen Quinzel. I am a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum. The youngest ever hired, though not the newest hire. We've had a lot of turnover lately. One of the patients in maximum security … well, let's just say there is good reason for him to be behind bars. Plenty of good reason for him to be housed in an asylum. One of the most vicious criminals Gotham City has ever seen, and he's about to become my newest patient.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

To say that my childhood was difficult would be an understatement. My parents were teenagers, both far too young and immature for the responsibility I represented. Mother was only 14 when she gave birth to me. Father was 19 and in prison for statutory rape. It turns out that the circumstances of my conception happened to be consensual, but Mother's parents were furious when they discovered she had lost the "only thing about her that mattered" – her virginity; Mother was raised in a very strict Christian household. They brought Father up on charges within minutes of finding out in retaliation for his "ruining" their daughter. Upon authenticating her pregnancy, Mother was given two options – give the baby up for adoption and be allowed to remain at home, or keep me and leave. She was still a child herself, and should never have been forced to make such a decision alone. The man she loved was in jail, her parents were barely speaking to her, and her friends had all but abandoned her as teenage pregnancy was still mostly unheard of at that time… my heart aches whenever I envision that young girl all alone. Luckily for her, Father's parents heard about the ultimatum she had been given and they reached out. They would take the baby and raise it. Mother was relieved and went through a healthy pregnancy. She gave birth with Father's parents in the room, as her own refused to attend, and the doctors whisked me away before she even had a chance to hold me. I didn't find out until I was an adult what happened to her after that, but she next went through a very severe depression. Her parents would only tell her to pray for forgiveness and Jesus' healing, though there was a family history of mental illness for both of them. She hung herself before I was six months old.

Father's parents were not exactly what you would call warm and loving. They refused to give me their last name, since Mother wasn't Father's legal wife, and so Mother's last name went on my birth certificate. They treated me as a burden, often muttering that they had raised their babies and shouldn't have to be raising grandbabies. I confronted them on it once when I was about 14, demanding to know why they had taken me if they didn't want me. My grandfather, Harold as I had been told to call him, stared me dead in the eye and said, "Ain't nobody takin' my blood away from family." Don't ask me, I don't understand it either.

Mother was one of their favorite topics to complain about. They called her a succubus and "that bitch who ruined my son." Her name was never spoken, instead they would say " _your mother_ " as if she were an epithet. But Father, now, he was an angel, a "poor misguided boy who fell to the charms of that vile temptress." I was the family shame. My two aunts, both older than Father and married, tended to avoid me. They would let their eyes skip past at family functions, never failing to mention how much they missed their brother. Their children, my cousins, were told not to play with me and to stay away. Eventually, as soon as I was old enough to be left alone, I was no longer brought to family gatherings.

I craved affection. Any time I saw a parent doting on a child I felt a searing pang within. I remember clinging to my worn teddy bear at night, trying to pretend its little arms could reach all the way around me, as tears streamed from my eyes. One of my first memories is of telling Henrietta, my grandmother, that I couldn't wait to meet my daddy. Everything that I had seen on television and in movies told me that my daddy would love me and take care of me, and I just knew that as soon as my father was out of jail I would finally have that love that I desired. From behind me, Harold snapped in his gruff voice, "You don't have a 'Daddy,' _idiot_. You have a Father. He was tricked into fatherin' you, and ain't nobody expect nothin' else from him." My little heart shattered and I burst into tears. Harold started yelling then, and didn't stop until I was hiding up in my room. He hated when I did anything remotely childlike. If he caught me playing pretend, he would throw away my toys. When I confessed my fear of the dark, he removed all the lightbulbs from my bedroom and the hall outside. And whenever I would cry, he would start to scream. His favorite thing to yell was, "Grow up, Harleen!" Then, he would inevitably go on with, "The fuck kinda name is Harleen anyways. _Your mother_ was an idiot, and passed on her stupid genes to you. Dumbass good for nothing." You certainly don't have to guess why I ached for affection.

Henrietta tried to make up for all the negativity of my childhood in the only way she knew how – she enrolled me in gymnastics, just as she had done with my aunts. Not to be confused with actual caring. Henrietta hated me just as much as Harold and her daughters, evidenced by her daily habit of cursing Mother and spitting that she wished I'd never been born. But she was, after all, a mother herself, and she remembered how much my aunts had loved their classes. I think partly she just wanted me out of the house, but whatever her reasoning I excelled in the sport and spent all my free time practicing in the cold cement basement. Anyone who has ever done gymnastics knows that the cushioned floor at the studio is necessary to prevent injury. But there was no way Harold was going to "spend that kind of money to carpet a perfectly fine basement" so I practiced on cement. When it would inevitably cause my body to ache and bruise, I would go to my bedroom and read. If I wasn't working on homework or household chores or practicing, I was reading. I craved knowledge the way a starving man craved sustenance. Libraries fed my addiction and I burned through hundreds of books in my youth. I was especially fascinated with the inner recesses of the mind and what it was that made us human. On that subject there was never enough information to satisfy my thirst.

In my teens I had my fair share of boyfriends. Looking back, I can say that I was trying to fulfill my need for love. But teenage boys are not equipped with the emotional maturity required to give me the kind of love I yearned for, and I was always left brokenhearted.

Shortly after I turned 16, I came home to find Henrietta lying cold on the floor. She had suffered a massive coronary and had been dead for hours, but I was instantly filled with dread at the thought of being left alone with Harold and so I spent the next two hours desperately performing CPR. I don't remember Harold coming home or calling 911. I don't remember the EMTs pulling me off of Henrietta or my repeatedly screaming that I needed her. I don't remember being checked into the psych unit of the local hospital. But I remember the doctors. I remember their kindness and the therapies. I remember starting medication and the way that my essence seemed to dim after that first pill. I became more subdued and calm.

When I was finally sent home, I was not so pleasantly informed that gymnastics was cancelled, as Harold never wanted to pay for classes in the first place. He'd only done it to appease his wife. I'd missed Henrietta's funeral due to being in the hospital, but I was there the following month when the family got together on a particularly hard day for Harold. I saw Father with his new wife and child, a little boy who could only babble "Dada." I'd always thought that he would come for me when he was released from jail, but I reminded him too much of "his greatest mistake." Apparently I look just like Mother. I hadn't even been invited to his wedding, or met any of his little family before that day. Father had taken a page from his sisters' books and avoided me. But he couldn't avoid me in my "home" and so we shared some very awkward small talk.

I threw myself into my studies after losing my grandmother. My already good grades improved and I earned a full scholarship to college in Gotham City. Leaving the house I grew up in wasn't difficult for me, as it finally rid me of Harold and his hatred, and I looked forward to life in the dorms. Shortly after my freshman year began, I learned what had happened to Mother. I found myself continually thinking of her and the pain she suffered. It led me to major in psychiatry and I have never worked harder than I did while working for my degree. There were many nights I skipped sleep for study. While my friends went to parties, I poured over textbooks. When my classmates were hooking up, I was writing my thesis. I was going to do everything I had to do to become the best doctor I could be. No one should have to suffer from mental illness; it's a terrible plight that afflicts so many. And I was going to do everything I could to help those who were suffering.


	2. Chapter 2

Immediately following my graduation from Gotham U I was hired at Arkham. And now I've been here about nine months. My job isn't always easy; in fact there have been quite the number of times I've thought about quitting. But I can't give up on my patients. I've heard heartbreaking stories in my sessions, things that have made my skin crawl and the breath whoosh out of me. I've seen the victories of progress made and the defeat of repeated episodes. I've mourned with the brokenhearted and burned with pride when I could declare a patient "cured" and fit to rejoin society. There is nothing better than that. The first time I watched a patient leave my care I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. It was what I had been working towards for years. In my mind, I pictured Mother smiling down on me.

It happened about three months into my practice. Well, technically one month. I had spent my first two months at Arkham as an intern, then a trainee, then a junior psychiatrist. Just after completing my second month I was given my first solo patient, a 2. One month later I was taking over a few cases for another psychiatrist who had, unfortunately, passed due to … how do I put this … well, mishandling a patient. I'll get into that more later. At work we have these classifications or more like levels of the intensity of a patient's needs. 1-3 are the bottom rank, those who either came in with mild symptoms or those who had worked their way up through treatments. 4-6 are moderate. 7-9 are severe. There are two wings of the asylum, minimum and maximum security, separated by a security station that requires three different swipes of a keycard and a visual ID verification by a guard. The patients in minimum are allowed visitation; once a week for the 4s and 5s, twice for the 3s, and three times a week for the 1s and 2s. It's incentive for the patients to work their treatment plan and move up through these levels, ultimately achieving release home. Simple enough to understand, I think. When Dr. Sanjay died, I took on his low level patients. One of these was a young mother of five who became hysterical when she learned she was pregnant again. Sanjay had been working with her three weeks when he passed. I saw her another two before she was released. It was an honor to work with her. It's an honor to work with all my patients. I really do love what I do.

After that young mother went home, I started getting mid level patients. I was so nervous before my first 6; my first max patient. I expected him to be different from the others I had worked with, but was surprised to find that he was still just a person. Of course, I was then chastising myself for making such an unfair presumption and have sworn never to do it again. We're all human. We all share the same drives. There's nothing I've heard, from those not dissociated with reality, that I can't honestly say I haven't felt myself at one point. From loneliness to hatred, rage to despair. I've experienced all these things. It's that humanity that unites us. Granted, I've never acted out in the way my patients have.

In the past month I've taken on two 7s and an 8. Tomorrow I start with my first … 10. No, probably higher. You could count to infinity and not find the level of this patient. He will certainly be the most trying case I'll ever have. He's been in Arkham almost as long as I have. I have yet to meet him, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't know anything about him. Everyone in Gotham knows about the Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime and his gang of followers wreaked havoc on the city, his maniacal laughter often ringing out over the streets. It seemed as though every evening news anchors would be speaking of his latest exploits. Countless people were maimed or murdered at his bidding. Robberies, bombings, drugs, extortion … his reign was utter chaos. It only came to an end because of Batman and Robin, the crime fighting duo of Gotham. They apprehended him and brought him to the police, who in turn sent him to Arkham.

I think apprehended might be too kind of a word. They beat him bloody. He arrived at the asylum sans front teeth and required a completely new set. Sanjay decided the Joker needed the freedom to choose whatever teeth he wanted and now he has a mouth full of metal. Metal teeth. I'd question how he got insurance to foot the bill, but I'm sure it was Joker's illicit deep pockets that supplied the gangster's grill.

He's been through quite the number of psychiatrists. His file is extensive, as each new doctor charted their opinions and diagnoses. My boss, Dr. Alera Standness, also filled out a form detailing why each doctor was "taken off" this case. Sanjay was first. His last notes ended with the Joker having said he didn't like the doctor. The next session he was strangled. Dr. Jorje Diaz followed, and lasted no more than a week. Joker didn't like that Jorje's name wasn't pronounced with a hard J. Diaz's neck was snapped in their third session. The third psychiatrist was Dr. Hemmings. Hemmings had a plan when he started. He asked no questions, simply gave the patient room to talk about whatever he wanted, but required he be handcuffed to the table for safety. Eventually, he surmised, this apparant "freedom" would build trust and would result in honest communication when the good doctor finally began "his side of the conversation," or so he'd put it. Arrogance was Hemmings' downfall, and that hubris couldn't be masked from the Joker. Two sessions in to Hemmings' digging and Joker beat him to death. He's far more cunning than any of them gave him credit for. How he managed to get his hands on them is still unclear, and I've watched the silent security videos multiple times. The fourth had a psychotic break and completely disassociated with reality. He became convinced there were worms digging through his brain and used his nails to carve away at his scalp. No one knows how simply talking with the Joker caused a renowned and heavily trained doctor to lose his sanity. Dr. Sophia Angeles was number five. She was a kind and funny woman, but following weeks of hearing all the horrors inside Joker's mind she drove her Pontiac off a dock and never surfaced. Number six was Dr. Johann Strauss. He flew in from Germany to take on the self-proclaimed King of Gotham. I didn't like Johann much – he was far too misogynistic – but he worked with Joker the longest. Dr. Strauss seemed to be making progress. His notes are extensive and detailed, describing acts of crime so vividly that I could easily picture them in my head. Where others would be horrified, I was fascinated. Each new page showed another facet of Joker's personality. He is utterly indescribable. At first there seems to be no method to his madness, spending weeks recounting crimes that seemed to have nothing in common, only to finally reveal that all of those crimes coincided in a master plan that laid out so intricately you could only marvel at the intelligence it took to pull it off. There was a reason he ruled Gotham; he played the game on a level that no one else could even see.

At the end of Strauss' time working at Arkham, he made a decision about the Joker's treatment that I don't agree with and it's probably what killed him. Johann started his patient on 5 rounds of electroshock therapy. From everything I've read, this is the worst possible treatment for him. Nothing indicates that it would be beneficial. To be quite honest, I wish the asylum would do away with electroshock completely. In all my research I have found no benefits to this style of so-called "therapy."

Johann was found in his apartment with a single gunshot wound to the head, execution style. I believe this to be retaliation for the electroshock, carried out by one of Joker's many henchmen.

And now there's me – lucky number seven. Alera did not want me taking this case.

"You are still new to this, Harleen," she'd insisted, "To be frank, I've been working here two decades and even I don't feel capable of taking on the Joker. He's in max for a reason. And let's not even mention how many psychiatrists I've already lost to this clown … no pun intended. You've been doing so much good and making so much headway with your patients. And you're very good at what you do. I'd hate to lose you as well."

But I know I can help. I've read his file so many times, I could recite entire passages. I've studied his criminal history. I've spent all-nighters scouring the internet for every shred of information I could find about this man. And it doesn't hurt that no one else is willing to treat him. Alera can object all she wants, she knows I'm the only one who will agree to taking this case. The Joker is _my_ patient, and while I'm scared as hell of meeting him face to face, I am positive that I can help him.


	3. Chapter 3

I could barely contain my nerves this morning. If I'd really thought about it, I would have skipped the caffeine and eaten something. Instead, I sipped on Starbucks as I rode the subway and blamed the butterflies in my stomach for my decision not to eat. The ride seemed far longer than usual and the more that time ticked away, the more those butterflies grew. By the time I reached my stop, my pulse had started to pound.

 _I can do this._

My heels clacked down the sidewalk, bringing me closer to the huge brick building. I raised a hand to the security guard as I walked past, barely registering his nod. Once inside, I beelined my way to my office, draining the last of my coffee and starting to feel a little jittery. Alera was waiting for me.

"I just want to make sure that you're certain about this."

I didn't even answer, just gave her a look and she sighed, nodding, "I'm taking you off your other cases."

Well if that wasn't a blow to the stomach. I could barely speak, "You're taking my patients?"

"The Joker is going to need the entirety of your focus, Harleen. I've lost six highly trained psychiatrists to this guy. I'm not taking any risks with you. I can't have you distracted while you're working with him."

For some reason, that eased all the anxiety that filled my bones. I could devote myself completely to his care.

 _I can do this._

"Thank you, Alera." I smiled, "For trusting and supporting me."

"You'll be seeing him in security 1."

I know my expression faltered, "Not in my office?"

Each psychiatrist that worked in minimum had an office where they met with patients. Same thing over in max. If you worked both, you had two offices.

"No. Risks. Harleen."

"Right, of course, Alera."

She still showed trepidation in her eyes, but when she wished me luck she seemed sincere. Alera left and I paused to gather my thoughts. One final glance through his file, and I made my way to maximum. I passed through the guard station and clacked down the halls to the room where I would be meeting my patient. As I approached, I could see that they had stenciled my name on the door. Did that make the room officially mine? Mine and his, since he is my sole patient? There were already two guards standing outside when I crossed the threshold and I stopped just inside the bright white room. I wasn't expecting him to already be there.

I barely registered the two other guards standing behind him because my eyes were too busy taking in the sight of him. I'd only ever seen grainy photos on the nightly news, grainy security footage of his previous sessions. They hadn't prepared me.

His hair was bright green and slicked back from his face. A few small scars marked his skin. Across his forehead in thin script was tattooed " _Damaged_ " and there was another small tattoo beneath his left eye of the letter J. A third tattoo of a star decorated his right temple, the corners of others barely visible above his shirt. His skin was white. Not in the Caucasian way, but the actual color white like sun bleached bones. His lips were so purely red I was reminded of Snow White. Skin the color of snow, lips the color of blood, hair … well, not ebony but a vivid green. The structure of his face was pleasant, and I'm only slightly ashamed to admit I felt an attraction. The waterlines of his eyes were red as well, dark and irritated, but his irises … they are this clear blue that seem to pierce. When his eyes met mine, I could feel his gaze in the deepest reaches of my mind.

I frowned when I saw that he was in a straightjacket.

 _No. Risks. Harleen._

"You can go." I told the guards. And when they opened their mouths to protest, I cut them off. "My protection does not trump the rights of my patient. He is to be provided with doctor/patient confidentiality. Which is why this" and here I pointed to the security camera above the door "does not record sound. You two may join the others outside and I will call you if I need you."

There was an edge to my voice that warned I would not back down and so the two guards begrudgingly trudged past me into the hall. I closed the door firmly and turned back to my patient.

"Mr. Joker." I began as I walked to the small table to take my seat across from him, "I am Dr. Harleen Quinzel and I am your new psychiatrist. Before we begin, there are a few things I think you should know about me. I will never lie to you. I'm not going to ask you to trust me, I'm going to show you that you can."

I tucked a strand of hair behind one ear as I spoke, "Trust is something that is earned, not demanded, and I have no intentions of making any demands of you. I will fight for your rights as my patient, and I will devote myself to your care. I am not here to fix you." He smiled then, baring those metal teeth, and I paused to take a breath. "I am here to help you. You are my only patient, and so you are my focus."

He shifted in his chair and the sound of metal clanked beneath him. I bent to glance under the table and saw that his ankles were chained to the chair that was bolted to the ground. His feet were bare beneath the shackles, the rubber-soled socks we provide every patient missing. I came up scowling, but tried to regain my composure before finishing my planned speech.

"Is there anything you want me to know before we begin?"

He stared at me then, those crystal blue eyes scanning over me before locking onto my own. I never broke his gaze, even when I could feel his fingers rifling through the pages of my soul. The clock in a cage bolted high on the wall ticked away an eternity as he stared me down. Finally, he spoke.

"I know everything about you, Doc." As he drawled out certain syllables, my heart sputtered in my chest. His voice was not what I expected. I can't really describe it, but oh, how it causes my pulse to quicken and my stomach to drop. My mouth went dry when he continued. "I had my boys find out all there is to know."

"Maximum security patients don't get visitation." I spoke without thinking.

He grinned, "I don't need visitation. My boys know how to reach me. Always."

I tried to swallow, but my mouth was too dry.

"Dr. Harleen Quinzel," the way he said my name squeezed the air from my lungs. I sucked in a ragged breath as he continued, "Born to a teenaged mother, raised by paternal grandparents, lost a grandmother at 16. What was that like?"

"We're … We're not here to talk about me." I stuttered.

"Oh, but I want to talk about _you_." Those blue eyes raked over me again.

"It was hard." I swallowed unsuccessfully. "Not actually being without her; there was no love lost between us. … But what it meant after she was gone."

"Which is?" he prompted.

"That I was left alone with my grandfather."

"No 'love lost' there either?"

I shook my head, "He hated me."

"Why?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Joker, but this is really what you want to discuss?"

"Oh, yes." He grinned at me again and I couldn't stop my lips from curving into a returned smile.

I cleared my throat and licked my lips. "Father was imprisoned for statutory rape. Mother was underage."

"I'll say. Fourteen is young for babies."

"If you already know all this, why are you asking me about it?"

A slow smirk spread across his face. "You told me you would be honest with me. I'm testing that theory."

I could do nothing but stare in shock for a moment. This was not how he'd interacted with any of his previous psychiatrists.

"Your grandfather hated you." He prompted again. Then a more direct order, "Continue, Dr. Quinzel."

I nodded and licked my lips again. "They all did. My grandparents, my aunts and their families. I was the family shame."

And on it went. I told him things I have never shared with anyone. I talked about the small town just outside Boston where I had been raised. I told him about living with Harold and Henrietta; how that molded me into a self-relying, yet overall lonely young woman. He's the only person who knows what I experienced in the psych unit after Henrietta's death. When I mentioned starting medication in the hospital he sneered. "You don't need that shit."

"Well it has helped –"

"Don't, don't, don't, don't." He frowned. "There was nothing wrong with you."

"I had a psychiatric episode. Hours that have disappeared from my memory."

"And that means you're _crazy_?" He scoffed. "Even if you were, there's nothing wrong with crazy."

"I know how you feel about psychotropic drugs." I began, but he cut me off again.

" _You know_ how I _feel_?" His sour expression and mocking tone begged to differ.

"You've refused to take any prescribed medications. If I remember correctly, you bit the nurse that gave them to you when he was ordered get them in by any means necessary. Except for that antibiotic when you first arrived. You swallowed those without complaint. They tried intravenous meds and you became so violent before hand that for safety's sake they had to stop."

"There's nothing wrong with me."

"If that were wholly true, you wouldn't be here."

He scowled. I cleared my throat and continued, "You are like no one I have ever encountered before. In more ways than one. … But even you have to admit that your lack of respect for human life isn't normal."

" _Normal_?" he sneered again. "Fuck normal. And fuck everyone who thinks you have to fit the mold to deserve freedom."

"That's not what I meant."

He rolled his eyes, "And yet you'll still order they shove pills down my throat."

I shook my head, "I'm not here to work against you, Mr. Joker. I intend to work _with_ you towards your goals. And knowing how you feel about medication, I would never force it on you. I don't believe in alienating my patients. If they can't trust me, how on earth am I supposed to help them? … I won't lie, I believe in the benefits of medication. That's why I'm still on mine."

He scowled again and repeated his earlier words, "You don't need that shit."

I shrugged. "I disagree. Now, where was I?"

And I went back to sharing my past. I told him about my wariness of leaving the hospital and going back to Harold, and how hard it was to be left alone with someone who hated me so viciously. I mentioned seeing Father and his family, and the bitter jealousy that had filled me when he'd picked up and lovingly cuddled his son – my brother – mere minutes before stumbling through an awkward greeting to me. I talked about the sheer joy it was to move to Gotham and begin university. Then I shared how I'd found out the truth of what had happened to my mother and how that sparked my passion for psychiatry, and formed the following years as ones of ravenous study. The more things I confirmed for him, the more I was rewarded with the smile that made my stomach flip. At the end of our session, as the guards entered and unlocked the shackles at his feet, he leaned across the table and whispered conspiratorially, "I look forward to seeing you again, Doc."

I beamed at him and whispered back, "Me too."

The guards pulled him roughly to his feet, nearly causing him to lose his balance before yanking him towards the door so fast that he stumbled keeping up with them.

"You will treat my patient with respect, or I will have your jobs." I snapped at the security officers. They glowered at me, but moved with more gentleness afterward.

As they walked my patient down the hall, the Joker started to laugh; a slow cackle that gained volume and sent shivers down my spine. I couldn't slow the beat of my heart and I mused on the nature of fear as I made my way to my office in max. By the time I unlocked the door and closed it behind me, I came to the realization that none of my reactions to the Joker had been fearful. I was _pleased_ by his interest in me. I reveled in the laser focus of his gaze. And being the one to bring a smile to those blood red lips … it's pure satisfaction. It's a good thing Alera already cleared my caseload. I don't think I'll be able to think about anything but the Joker.


	4. Chapter 4

I have never been more infuriated with another human being in the entirety of my life. Alera found me after lunch, asking how that morning's session had gone. I tried to be as noncommittal as possible while also leaving a positive impression about the experience. I wanted Alera to think I was doing well, but I didn't want to admit that my first session with my patient was spent talking about me.

"Well, I'm glad it went well. Now, if you'll follow me, I'll bring you to the therapy room."

"Therapy room?" I echoed as I matched her stride. She had turned to walk away, expecting me to follow, at the end of her sentence.

"Yes, the Joker's therapy is this afternoon."

But I hadn't prescribed any therapies yet. Alera was moving quickly and I struggled to keep up with her long legs. I didn't recognize the halls she led me down, nor the room she stopped outside of. She pushed the swinging door open and went to step inside but I caught her arm. "Alera, what therapy? I haven't prescribed any therapies –"

"You've read his file, Harleen." She released the door as she turned to me and it slowly swung backwards, but caught partway open. "Strauss ordered five rounds of electroshock, but only administered four."

I recoiled, staring at her in horror. "You know how I feel about electroshock, Alera. I've refused to prescribe it to any of my patients, and that includes this one."

"It's already been ordered." She waved a hand in dismissal and turned to enter the room again.

"No." I shook my head violently. "Alera, I won't do this. There are no benefits to this treatment and even if there were, it wouldn't be right for this patient."

"Are you a doctor at this asylum?" She turned to me coolly with a stone-faced expression. "Do you work here?"

"What do you mean, do I work here? Of course I work here."

"Then you know that doctor's orders are to be followed. A course of treatment was prescribed to this patient. It has yet to be completed. If you would like to continue being a psychiatrist at Arkham, you will follow the treatment plan outlined in his file and complete the therapies that have been prescribed to him."

I stared open mouthed. "Are you saying you'll fire me if I don't do this?"

"You won't have given me any other choice."

"But there's no one else willing to work with him. Would you be taking over his care?"

She snorted. She actually _snorted_ , as if the prospect were ridiculous. "I'm not working with him. I'll find someone else. And until someone else can be found, he will remain in his cell untreated."

I shook with rage. "This is completely unethical."

She swept a hand toward the electroshock room. "The choice is yours, Dr. Quinzel."

My hands trembled as they curled into fists, but I stomped past her to the partially open door. "Dr. Standness," I spat in dismissal and pushed the door open.

Inside was my patient, already strapped to a table. A few guards and nurses milled about the room, chatting with each other as if nothing were wrong. I glared at all of them. How could they act like this was anything but barbaric?

The fury that coursed along with my blood pricked angry tears into the corners of my eyes. I strode over to the instrument of torture, picking up the thick wooden cylinder lying before it and bringing it above the Joker's face. His blue eyes glowered up at me, nonexistent brows knit together in rage. I tried to blink away the tears in my eyes, but only caused one to spill over and slide down my cheek as he opened his mouth and took the dowel between his teeth.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Joker." I whispered. "This goes against everything I believe in."

My only reply was the livid glare of my patient. I picked up the two wands and placed them on either side of his temples.

"I want it on the lowest setting." I told the male nurse to my left.

"Dr. Strauss was building up in the previous sessions. He's meant to be at level 6 for the first round of this one and end on level 10."

"Did I fucking stutter?" My head snapped to the left and I held the man in an infuriated scowl. "Dr. Strauss is dead. I am this man's doctor and if I'm going to have my hands forced into this cruel act of barbarity, it is going to be on the _lowest fucking setting_."

The nurse shrank back from my rage and nodded silently, adjusting the dial down to 1. I took a breath, apologized again to my patient, and depressed the buttons that activated the electroshock. His body stiffened as electricity coursed, and I saw tiny sparks fly from one tooth to the next. To the count of ten I held down the buttons, and then released. He relaxed, but never tore his eyes from mine. When the nurse moved to raise the level for the second round I broke Joker's gaze and literally growled at the man to my left. " _Leave it_."

The treatment plan called for five rounds of electricity per session, with each round raising in intensity. Not on my watch.

I looked back down at the man staring up at me, and steeled myself for the second round. Once again, his eyes locked onto mine and I depressed the buttons, this time for a count of fifteen. My hands were shaking by the time I was done. _This is wrong_. Repeated in my thoughts through both previous rounds, and I could not force myself to do the third. I knew then that I couldn't administer the rest. I pulled the wands away from Joker's skull and shook my head. "He's done."

A female guard on my right stepped forward with a frown. "Three more, Dr. Quinzel."

I glared at her and held the wands in her direction. "You are more than welcome to administer them yourself."

She took another step forward and reached for the wands, but stopped when she caught Joker looking at her. His eyes had taken on a maniacal glint and she recoiled from his gaze. I looked around the room, holding out the wands as an offer. "Anyone else think he requires more treatment?"

No one would meet my eyes. I slammed the wands down on the table and ordered them to untie my patient. As they unbuckled straps and pulled him to his feet, I noticed the tattoos that had previously been hidden by the straightjacket. Three different smiles on his arms, one on the back of each hand and one on his right forearm. A few dozen Ha's over his left pectoral, four aces with a ribbon stating "ALL iN" on his shoulder above them. A skull with a jester hat covering his right pectoral and shoulder. "JOKER" above his navel and another smile curled below it. Batman's symbol with a knife through it on his left bicep. More Ha's on his left forearm. A dead robin lying on its back with an arrow sticking through its chest on his right bicep. The guards began putting the straightjacket back on him, and when they turned him around it revealed a massive oriental dragon tattoo covering his back. They worked the straps and buckles, tightening them far more than I thought was necessary. Then they spun him around to face me.

"Next time you take him from his cell, give him the fucking time to put his shirt on." I glowered at the guards.

The one on the right had the decency to shuffle his feet in embarrassment, "Alera said-"

"Is she his doctor?" I interrupted.

The two guards exchanged a glance and I repeated myself with an added edge to my tone. "Is _she_ his _doctor_?"

"No, ma'am." Answered the other guard quietly.

"Well then, when it comes to his standard of care, I guess we'll be following his _actual doctor's_ instructions." I huffed.

"Yes, ma'am." Replied both guards.

I stepped forward and gently took the stick from between his teeth and he offered me a wary smile. "See ya, Doc." He said as they pulled him from the room.

It is clear to me that I am the only one in Arkham who truly has his welfare at heart. And I refuse to be bullied again into making the wrong choices. The Joker is in _my_ care, and I'll be damned if I'm about to let someone else make decisions on his treatment. Especially when no one else seems to give a shit about him as a person.


	5. Chapter 5

It's nearing midnight as I write this. I've yet to sleep, and I don't find it likely that I will any time soon. Every time I close my eyes, I see Joker's blue ones staring at me. I see the smile and then the fury, feel his laughter caressing down my skin … It's been hours since I've seen him, but I can't get him out of my head. Not once this evening did he leave my mind.

I find myself picturing him in his cell, wondering if he's succumbed to the peace of sleep. I daydreamed about gently loosening all the straps of his straightjacket until he could pull the monstrosity from his lean yet muscled body and toss it aside. I envisioned stamping his file "RELEASED" and watching as he left Arkham. He looked back at me and held out a hand, waiting for me to give him mine and follow. Then I quickly turned on the television in an attempt to distract myself.

There is something about him that has gotten under my skin. If I didn't know better, I'd say the track of my thoughts was akin to that of my teenaged crushes. But no one has ever intrigued me like the Joker.

I replayed the electroshock event in my mind on a loop. From Alera's audacity to Joker's rage, I relived it all. I have never felt so violently about another human being in my life. There were days when Harold's hatred became too much to bear and I fantasized about hitting him upside the head with a giant mallet, akin to the old Looney Tunes show I was never allowed to watch. But even that paled in comparison to the infuriated feelings I bear for Alera. She had always supported my decision to avoid electroshock in relation to my patients. She'd even confessed once that she held no esteem for the practice and agreed when I mentioned it should be removed from the asylum.

But when referred to the Joker, she insisted it be carried out. If he had been anyone else, she would have stricken the orders at my request.

Did she fear him? Was that the reason for her demands that I continue the treatment? Or did she think he deserved all the punishment he could get for his commission of crimes?

But I'm not his punisher. I'm his doctor. My priority is his wellbeing. Clearly, Alera does not agree.

Even now I can see his face swimming before me. I can feel the intensity of his gaze. When his eyes lock onto mine, I find myself … at peace. Which is strange. All of the time I spent preparing to take on this case had me thinking that I would continuously be on edge, always watching for the shoe to drop and his wildness to come out. But actually being in his presence is completely different. I feel at ease with him, and when he smiles at me … I can't stop the lifting of my heart or the curving of my lips in a returned grin of my own.

His indignation over the continuation of Strauss' treatment was understandable. If I'm correct in my surmising on the reason for Johann's death, I'm sure he expected that the expiry of the former psychiatrist would be the end of the electroshock. I can only hope that he won't hold it against me. With the door to the "therapy room" partially open, its likely that my patient heard my argument with Dr. Standness. If that's the case, then he knows I was forced into administering the treatment. I suppose I'll find out tomorrow if he's going to blame me for what he endured.

I need to sleep. I can't be off my game tomorrow when I see him again. I wonder what he'll want to talk about …

I want to feel him smile at me again. The fury in his eyes when he glowered at me was like a physical pain. It literally hurt to see him … disappointed in me. I _need_ to make him smile again.

If I'm going to be the only one interested in his wellbeing, I'm going to make damn sure I do all I can to stay in his good graces. He needs someone in his corner if he's going to have any hope of working his way up through the levels and into minimum. He's going to need support and encouragement if he's to have _any_ hope of making it out of the asylum. From what I've seen, no one else is going to support him. So it's up to me. And I'm ok with that.


	6. Chapter 6

We sat in silence for the first twenty minutes of this morning's session. He stared at me, expressionless, and I waited for him to speak. Having no idea what he thought of the previous day's events, I didn't dare start first; I couldn't risk upsetting him should I say the wrong thing. So I sat wordlessly with a yellow legal pad on the table before me, wondering when he would choose to break the silence between us.

My heart skipped a beat when he drew in a breath and opened his mouth. "I know that wasn't your choice."

Instant relief flooded my system and I shook my head vehemently. "No. It is a vulgar practice that I have never accepted as legitimate."

He tilted his head then, cracking the joints in his neck before dazzling me with his biggest smile, "Tell me, Doc. What treatment do you prescribe?"

I faltered. Remembering my vow to always tell him the truth, I spoke with honesty. "I don't know yet. I typically need to get to know a patient before coming to any decisions on their treatment plans."

"So ya wanna get to know me?" His grin lifted, crinkling the corners of his eyes.

 _Desperately_ , I thought, but chose to pick my words more carefully. "It's more of a need than a want."

He cackled at that and I felt my cheeks flush. I rushed to explain, "I can't make decisions on a proper course of treatment without first understanding the needs of my patient."

"Oh, I know what you really mean, Doc. You wanna hear about my _needs_." The final word was growled out low between metal teeth and the ensuing shivers down my spine brought a chuckle tumbling forth from blood red lips. I could feel an anticipatory twinge between my legs, and thanked whatever gods there were above that my body does not react to arousal the way a man's would.

"Mr. Joker –"

"My friends call me J." He interrupted.

I swallowed and began again. "Mr. Joker." He rewarded me with another grin for not assuming his interruption was permission to address him with familiarity. "If you are going to be inappropriate, I will be forced to terminate you as my patient."

He raised a nonexistent brow and challenged me with his next words. "You would leave me _untreated_?"

So he _had_ heard my fight with Alera. I swallowed again and looked down at the table, trying desperately to gather my thoughts into a coherent sentence. Finally, I looked up at him and shook my head.

"No." I admitted. He knew I was the only person who would work with him, and he also knew that I could never allow myself to abandon his care. He grinned at me again, leaning forward slightly.

"So what does it matter what I say?"

"For my own comfort –"

"Oh, I think you're _comfortable_ with me, Dr. Quinzel."

I flushed again and decided to give up this line of talk for a different one.

"What are your goals, Mr. Joker?"

He sat back in his chair, the chains clanking beneath him as he moved. "Getting out, of course."

"And how do you hope to achieve that goal?"

He dazzled me with another wide smile, "With your help."

I positively glowed. He was clearly beginning to trust me if he felt I would play a part in his healing.

"You are gonna help me, right, Doc?"

"Of course," I smiled at him, not noticing that I was leaning forward in my seat. "It would be my pleasure."

" _Your pleasure_." He drawled out the words with a twisted grin. "Yeah, I think I could show you _pleasure_."

I straightened in my chair as my cheeks flushed a third time. "Mr. Joker." I admonished, though my thighs were positively quivering. He tossed his head back and laughed, enjoying my embarrassment.

"Come on, Harleen." He taunted and I prayed he didn't notice the catch in my breathing when he said my name. "Don'tcha wanna _play_."

I started at that, his choice of words striking a chord in me. Harold had never allowed me to play. Henrietta didn't mind, though she always rushed me to stop when Harold would have the chance to catch me. The Joker's gaze never left my face, and I could swear he could hear the thoughts swirling in my brain.

"I … I don't know how." I admitted.

"Oh, I bet you do. You just need the right person to dig it out of ya."

I wouldn't submit to what he wanted of me. I knew what he was waiting for me to ask – _And that person is you?_ But I wasn't going to blatantly allow that kind of insinuation between me and a patient. I pressed my lips into a thin line and made a note on the legal pad.

He snarled when he realized I wasn't going to play along. Then he growled out, "You _know_ it's me."

I swallowed again, leaving my eyes on the pad of paper and continuing to make notations. By the time my heart had slowed to a normal pace, I was ready to address him again.

"Let's talk about Batman."

He growled low, hairless brows knitting together. "I don't wanna talk about the Bat."

"He's captured you before, but he was far more vicious this time. Why?"

"You'd have to ask him." He muttered.

"I'm asking _you_."

He stared at me hard, anger etched in his expression. But then he relaxed and a slow smile stretched across his face. "Fine. I'll tell you. It's because I shot his little pet."

"Batman had a dog?"

At that he laughed hysterically. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A daughter-figure. Surely you've heard of Batgirl?"

There hadn't been much talk of the third crime fighter in Gotham City. She didn't seem to be partnered with Batman and Robin very long before she vanished from the city streets. Apparently the Joker was the reason for her disappearance.

"You killed her?"

He frowned, "No. She survived." Then he grinned, "Though last I heard she lost the use of her legs."

He cackled with glee at having crippled the former crime fighter.

"So Batman's vengeance was taking your teeth." I mused.

"That was a side effect." He corrected.

"To what?"

"Their _rage._ " He whispered with delight. "The Bat and the Bird were so lost in their fury that they couldn't control their fists."

These were supposed to be the good guys. They claimed to be the protectors of Gotham, and yet they battered a mentally ill man because they couldn't control themselves. Some protectors they were. I frowned at the thought that these men were still running loose around the city.

The Joker correctly guessed the reason for my frown and spoke reassuringly, "I'll get 'em back. I always do. And when the Bat sees me next, he's gonna come face to face with exactly what happens when he loses control. He's gonna hafta face the way he _damaged_ me." He bared his teeth and the metal gleamed in the bright lights.

"Your tattoo…" I marveled, my eyes flicking up to view the script below his hairline. "You got it in here?"

He smirked, "George agreed I deserved a little treat. He had my favorite artist brought in to adorn my forehead… Didn't save him, though."

"George … you mean Dr. Diaz?" This wasn't in any of his notes. I reminded myself to read the file again. _Maybe I missed something?_

"I know who I mean," he snarled. "The one who's neck I snapped for having a stupid name."

I couldn't stop myself from asking the question that had buzzed in the back of my mind since first reading his file. "Why didn't you kill Johann so quickly, then?"

He froze for a moment, clearly surprised by the question. Then he leaned forward and licked his lips. "Who?"

It's not right what flashed in my mind when I saw that tongue flick out. I cleared my throat and my thoughts and forced myself to focus. "Johann. … Strauss?"

He growled and it quickly grew into a wild roar. "THAT WAS HIS NAME?!"

The chains began to rattle crazily as he started to violently struggle against his straightjacket, twisting side to side in his chair. Three rapid knocks at the door warned the guards would be inside any second. I had to get control of this situation and fast.

"Dr. Quinzel!" the masculine voice called from the other side of the door and I heard the knob squeak.

"WE'RE FINE!" I screamed, jumping from my seat and rushing around the small table. My hip knocked it aside as I planted myself in front of him.

"Doctor!" the voice called again.

I whirled to the door and used the most authoritative voice I could muster to order, "STAY. OUT."

The Joker was still struggling wildly against his restraints so I placed my hands on either side of his face and coaxed, "Mr. Joker, look at me."

His head pulled away violently, trying to break my hold but I wouldn't let go. I don't know what came over me, and my hands are shaking at the thought of actually admitting this, but I planted one knee at each of his hips and sat down on his lap. I strengthened my grip and pulled his face inches away from mine. "J." I whispered. "Look at me."

His body tensed, but it stilled his movements. And when he opened his eyes, they stared with laser focus right into mine. My heart dropped straight into my stomach. My mouth was instantly dry and if there is a god, he damned me in that moment by sucking every thought from my mind.

I could feel his breath on my lips. I was so frozen in the experience that I think I stopped breathing. I could see my eyes reflected in his. Never in my life have I been so close to someone. Even the kisses I shared with my ex-boyfriends didn't compare to the intensity of my face inches away from Joker's. I've never experienced something so … intimate. I hate to use that word, because he is my patient, but there really is no other way of describing the feeling of that moment.

I don't know how long we sat like that … my hands on his cheeks, our noses almost touching. It could have been five seconds, it could have been an hour. To me, it felt like an eternity.

He broke the spell by moving forward. I won't say that it was to kiss me, because the notion is absurd. But he moved and my brain slammed back into my head and I threw myself backward off of him. My heart pounded wildly in my chest and I nearly tripped over my chair as the backs of my legs hit it. I couldn't break his gaze, and god help me, I tried desperately. The look on his face as he watched me could only be described as hungry. I backed to the door and flailed to grasp the knob. When I finally grabbed it, I twisted and pulled in one motion, whirling around the door and straight into the back of one of the guards.

"Dr. Quinzel!" another guard spun and reached out to catch me from falling. He pulled me in front of him and steadily righted me. "Are you alright?"

"This session is over." I gasped. And then I ran straight to my office. My hands trembled so violently I couldn't get the key to work at first. When I finally got it unlocked I threw the door open and slammed it closed immediately. I locked the door, and then put my back against it before sliding down to the floor and gasping to catch my breath. What did I do?

 _What did I do?_


	7. Chapter 7

Without an afternoon therapy, he was supposed to have another session sometime after lunch. But I couldn't face him again. I sent an email to Alera, claiming I wasn't feeling well, and scurried home to my apartment. I wished I had other patients. Maybe then I could have been distracted from what had happened between us that morning.

My mind was a fuzzy mess. I found myself running a bath and adding various salts and oils. _This will help me relax_ I assured myself as I undressed and climbed into the scalding water. I sank down as deep as I could, letting the heat burn away my shame.

 _I sat on his lap._

My head shook as one hand reached up and cupped my cheek. Though I fought it, it all began to replay in my mind. Perhaps it was foolish of me to bring up Johann. It had just never occurred to me that the doctor wouldn't have introduced himself. Maybe Strauss decided to skip his first name after reading about what had happened to Jorje. That would only have been the smart thing to do.

 _Just like it would have been smart not to mention Johann._

Was I foolish to think that I could handle a patient with needs as intense as the Joker?

 _Oh, I know what you really mean, Doc. You wanna hear about my_ _ **needs**_ _._

Pink flushed my cheeks as I recalled all of his flirtations.

 _Yeah, I think I could show you_ _ **pleasure**_ _._

 _Oh, I think you're_ _ **comfortable**_ _with me, Dr. Quinzel._

 _Don'tcha wanna_ _ **play**_ _?_

I shivered as his words slid down my spine. That familiar tightness bunched between my legs and my right hand slowly trailed down my torso to settle between my lower lips. Once again, I saw my eyes reflected in his, felt his breath on my skin. Gently, one finger circled my clit and the nub instantly hardened.

I felt him move forward, and in my mind I didn't pull away. His lips met mine and I melted into him, pouring all of myself into his kiss. My finger continued to rub in circles, gaining speed until my whole body trembled with desire for release. I imagined his arms wrapping around me, pulling me closer, pressing me against his muscled chest. With a shudder and a cry, my orgasm rippled through me. And upon riding to the end of the wave, I was instantly overcome with shame.

He's my patient. I shouldn't think of him that way.

 _But I want to._

I shook my head again and sat up in the bath. Where had that come from? I don't want to think of him that way, I want to help him. I want to do my job well, bring him back to sanity. I want to cure him.

 _I want him._

I stood up in the tub, water cascading down my form. The heat must be boiling my brain. My toe pulled the plug from the drain and the water started to gurgle down the pipe. I snatched up a towel and dried myself quickly before running to my bedroom and throwing on a pair of pajamas. The turn of my thoughts was disquieting and I needed to clear my mind before I went mad.

I clicked on the television, flicking through channels before settling on a made-for-TV movie. Anything to distract me from obtrusive thoughts. Though I couldn't tell you what the movie was about. I stared intently at the screen, as if I could will my brain to forget the Joker and focus on … what is this? A romcom? _How fucking stupid can you be, Harleen?_

I switched channels again, scanning through my limited package. For a moment I considered watching the news, but as soon as they started describing the latest string of mom-and-pop store robberies I started thinking about Johann's notes and the many crimes committed by the Joker detailed therein. My finger pressed the channel up button again and again. Cop drama, sitcom, gangster movie, Judge Judy, … Oh good. A game show. That should work.

I tossed the remote onto the coffee table and tried to focus on the TV, but inevitably my thoughts would always return to Joker. Things he'd said to me, his laugh, his crimes. Something always popped up. I found myself wondering what it was like to be that uninhibited. He answered to no one, not even the laws, and damn if there weren't any consequences for it.

 _Except for the Bat and his partner._

The "heroes" of Gotham. More like the assholes of Gotham.

My whole life I've towed the proverbial line. Done what I was told, done what I should, and never questioned if there might not be another way. But Joker … he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and he lives his life exactly as he wishes. I find myself a little jealous that he's discovered how to throw off the shackles of propriety. He may be "crazy," but he's _free_.

 _Well, not now…_

I have to stop thinking about him. So I'll just go to bed. I'm going to take some over the counter sleep aids to ensure my stupid brain doesn't keep me up, and then I'm going to knock out until morning.

No more thoughts about Joker.


	8. Chapter 8

My plan didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. Instead of a night free of the man that has plagued my mind, I spent the hours dreaming of him. I won't go into them here. A few were … x-rated. The others just confusing. I saw myself doing things that I would never consider while awake. Perhaps my mind took the idea of "freedom" and ran with it. But in a pretty disturbing way.

Anyways, I knew Alera wouldn't accept a call out without a doctor's note, and there was no way I could con the local clinic into finding me sick, so I forced myself to go to work. To say that I was anxious about seeing my patient again would be an understatement.

The morning was a blur and before I knew it, I was walking down to security 1 again. I took a few deep breaths, told myself that I was in control, and strode into the room. As usual, he was already inside and chained to his chair.

I avoided eye contact as I crossed the floor and sat down, placing my legal pad and pen on the table, the brown Styrofoam cup of coffee I set down next to the paper.

"Dr. Harleen Quinzel." Why does he have to same my name like that? "Do your friends call you Harley?"

I looked up in surprise. "I … I don't actually have any friends."

Sure, there had been a few in college, but once I was hired at Arkham I had less time for them and we sort of just drifted apart.

He gave me that smile that made my stomach flip. "Well you do now."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling back at him. The thought of him being my friend filled me with happiness.

"Tell me, Haaarley," He drew out my name in a way that made my breath catch in my throat. "What is your … _darkest desire_?"

There was a beat of silence as I fought to slow my pulse and learn to breathe again. Why did my voice have to sound so husky when I spoke? "I don't think that's an appropriate question."

"Come now," he leaned forward. "I think we both know we've crossed the line of what's _appropriate_ for this doctor/patient … _relationship_."

My face burned a bright red. _How does he have so much control over me? And why do I_ _ **like**_ _it?_

"About yesterday," I started.

But he cut me off with, "Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shhhhh."

I cleared my throat and tried again, "Mr. Joker."

"J." he corrected.

My eyes caught his and he smiled, though I was busily mortified at the memory of the one time I had called him "J." For a moment I found myself at a loss for words, and he took the opportunity to bring me back.

"Tell me." He cajoled. "Tell me, tell me, tell meee."

I blinked, having forgotten what we were talking about. "Tell you what?"

"Your darkest desire."

I shook my head. I had no intention of providing him with that.

"You swore you'd never lie to me."

"It's not a lie to not answer a question."

He locked his eyes onto mine, staring into me in the way that only he could. " _Please_."

I answered without meaning to. "To lose control."

The way he smiled told me he liked the answer I gave him. "Gooooood." He purred.

I rubbed my thighs together, trying to stop my body from reacting to his voice the way it was. I could feel wetness in my underwear.

"Don'tcha wanna know _mine_?" his tone was low, inviting.

"No." I said quickly. A second passed and I whispered, "Yes."

He grinned approvingly. "One day I'll tell ya."

"I told you mine." I pouted. Let me repeat that. I _pouted_. What the hell is going on with me?

His eyes locked onto my mouth, staring with desire. That tongue of his showed itself again as it licked over blood red lips and I felt myself leaning forward. He was perched on the edge of his seat, leaning into the table. My legs straightened, lifting me from my chair as I was drawn towards him. I rested my arms on the table, his magnetic aura pulling me into him. Once again, I found my face inches away from his.

He snapped his teeth at me and I pulled back slightly. He grinned, the smile growing wider as his eyes lifted to stare into mine. His voice was low and commanding when he said, "Come here, baby."

I obeyed. I don't know where my mind disappeared to. I had no control of my thoughts or my body. I pressed myself forward, crossing the short distance quickly, and my lips met his. He groaned against my mouth, and my vocal chords responded with a moan of my own.

His lips parted, drawing me in further. My senses overloaded, filling with nothing but him.

 _This is dangerous._

I didn't care. I could die this very second and it would be worth it.

 _The security camera!_

I pulled away then, landing heavily in my seat as my knees gave out. If Alera checked the tapes, I would lose my job for sure.

He breathed heavily for a moment, then cracked, "You're not gonna run away again, are ya?"

I shook my head, not trusting my voice.

"Good." He was watching me carefully, no doubt weighing my reactions to what had just occurred.

I couldn't catch my breath. My heart thundered in my chest and butterflies swam in my stomach. I don't know how long it took for me to settle, but when I finally got some control of myself I spoke softly. "We can't do that again."

"Why?" He demanded.

I held one finger up in the direction of the camera. "If Dr. Standness checks the recordings, she won't hesitate to fire me."

"Am I not worth it?" he snickered mercilessly.

I refused to answer that question. "If I lose this job, I'll never see you again. And you'll be locked in your cell 24/7."

He frowned. "Let's make sure that doesn't happen."

I smiled with relief. "Yes."

He eyed me appraisingly, pausing a moment before asking, "So what now, Harley?"

I took a slow breath. "Tell me about you."

Another smile took over his features and he launched into what had to be the most gruesome story I have ever heard. He never broke eye contact, never lost his smile as he talked of blood and guts and brain matter, exposed bones, an eye being pulled from its socket and then squeezed until it exploded. The tale dripped from his tongue and he reveled in all the sanguine details. If it hadn't have been for my dreams … nightmares? the night before, I might have been disgusted. But my brain had already concocted a similar story, so hearing this one didn't affect me as he might have hoped. Even as he was speaking I wondered if he had chosen this particular story in effort to frighten me. I wondered what he thought of my overall lack of reaction.

"Wait, I thought you said he was dead already." I broke in for clarification.

He stopped dead, blinking a few times. "What?"

"The man with the red hair. You sliced his stomach open and watched his intestines fall out." I recounted what he had told me like I was reciting football scores.

"Different redhead." He eyed me suspiciously.

I nodded and made a motion for him to continue. He did, slowly, as if he were unsure, but eventually he got back into his story and it finished with a gusto.

"And that's how I met my man, Jonny."

Three raps knocked at the door, and it opened a half second later. "Lunch." Explained one of the guards when I looked up.

I turned back to my patient. "I'll see you this afternoon."

"See ya, Haaaarley." He drawled.

And then they unshackled him and led him from the room.


	9. Chapter 9

When I got back to my office, Alera was already inside. Which aggravated me, because I know I locked the door when I'd left. Yes, she has keys to every single lock in the massive building, but I would hope she would have more respect for me and my personal space than to just waltz in whenever she felt like it.

"I trust you're feeling better?" She rose a brow at me.

My smile was thin, "Much."

She nodded and got to the point. "I want an update."

"It's going well. I can already see progress."

"What kind of progress?" she pressed.

"He's opening up. I don't know if it's left over from the strides he made with Dr. Strauss, but he's not as reserved with me as he was with the others."

"It's just his narcissistic personality wanting to talk about himself." She waved a hand dismissively

I frowned at her. _You don't know shit about him._ "I don't think so. He was just as megalomaniacal when he first arrived here, but he didn't talk to Sanjay, Diaz, Hemmings, or the others like this."

An idea formed in my mind and I decided to press my luck. "In fact, I'd like to reward him for his progress."

She gave me a look that said she wasn't impressed. "You want to reward a patient for simply speaking to his therapist?"

"I want to encourage positive momentum." I corrected. "Keep him on the right track."

"And just how do you suggest we do that?"

I swallowed nervously and prayed she wouldn't read anything in my expression. "I'd like to show him that trust goes both ways. If he is going to trust me, I am going to trust him."

She raised an unimpressed brow. "By?"

"Seeing him in my office."

She scowled. "Harleen-"

"Johann saw him in his office." I interjected.

"Strauss had been working with the patient for months before that happened. You've seen him three days."

"Which is why his honesty is so refreshing. It took how long before Strauss started to get anywhere?"

She studied me a moment, and I did my best to keep my face impassive. I had to act as if this was just like any other patient. _No ulterior motives here…_

Finally she acquiesced, "Fine. _Monday._ If he continues in this vein for the rest of the week, you may see him in your office on Monday."

I couldn't hold it back and I beamed at her. "Thank you, Dr. Standness."

"Don't make me regret this, Harleen."

I shook my head and she sighed before walking out. I couldn't wait to tell him.

 _He'll be so pleased with me._

I knew I was too excited to eat, so I waited as long as I could in my office before deciding to make a cup of coffee in the breakroom and carrying it to security 1. It gave my hands something to do. I shifted impatiently in my seat, absently taking sips of coffee as I waited for the guards to bring him back. Minutes felt like hours; I was so anxious to see him.

Finally the door opened and the guards led him in, sitting him down before locking the shackles to his chair. He eyed me with a grin. "You were waiting for me."

I waited until I heard the click of the door closing before I spoke. "I have some good news."

"Oh?"

My eyes were positively dancing as I leaned forward, resting my arms on the table for support. "I talked with Dr. Standness this morning."

He frowned, eyes hard. "I don't like her."

"I don't either." I confessed. "I used to think she was my friend, but this past week has proven that I am no more than a pawn to her."

"Then why do you look so happy?"

I smiled. "Because she's agreed to let me see you in my office."

He didn't respond, so I continued conspiratorially, "There are no cameras in my office."

Laughter bubbled forth from him and he grinned wickedly. "You want to be _alone_ with me."

Slight pink touched my cheeks, but I couldn't wipe the smile from my face. Then I remembered Alera's condition. "She'll only allow it as long as the rest of this week goes well. … As long as you keep making progress and being honest with me."

He studied me a moment as his smirk widened. Then, as if he had come to a decision, he nodded once. "I wasn't always like this, Doc."

"What do you mean?"

"I used to be … _normal_." He said the word with distain. "Then I took a bath in some chemicals and became a god."

 _If he's a god, he's the only one I could ever serve._

He continued, telling me about how he shed his old life and became the Joker. He talked about his crime organization and his first encounter with Batman. "He's my very favorite joke," he'd cackled when he brought up the caped crusader.

Story after story slipped forth, and I found myself enchanted. I could listen to him forever. It doesn't matter what he says, his voice is like a soothing balm to my lonely heart.

I never want to be without him.


	10. Chapter 10

Thursday morning he talked more about Jonny Frost, his chauffeur/right hand man. That afternoon, he told me about his one legitimate business – the club that he had purchased a few years back, called "The Smile and Grin". On Friday he spent both sessions discussing everything he planned for once he got out of Arkham. The more he shared, the happier I became. It didn't matter that everything he told me was gruesome (his plans for payback were particularly wild.) He had taken Alera's one condition to heart and was clearly working toward the privacy of my office.

Leaving on Friday was incredibly difficult. I had the weekend off. Two whole days without seeing my Joker.

Saturday dragged. My weekends used to be filled with paperwork. But when Alera took my other patients, she took all my busy work too. I had nothing with which to preoccupy the hours. When I was sure the majority of the day had passed, I was disappointed to find it was only 10AM.

I got some lunch, went to a movie, did a little shopping. By the time I got back home, it was evening. And then a brilliant idea popped into my head.

I put on some of the new clothes I had bought, did my makeup with an intense smoky eye and bright red lip, and went downstairs to catch a cab. The ride was only slightly longer than I expected, but I soon found myself standing outside of the Joker's nightclub. I paid the entry fee and walked inside the most opulent space I have ever seen. The décor was fancy, gold everywhere, just as beautiful as he had described. I didn't want to guess how much it cost to run the place, never mind what it would have cost to purchase it.

 _He didn't tell me it was a strip club._

I'd never been to any kind of club before, never mind one where women danced naked. The first half hour I spent clinging to the walls, watching everyone else as they watched the girls, as they themselves danced and flirted and drank. Eventually I wandered over to the bar.

"Can I buy you a drink?" The man who had spoken was not exactly unattractive. He had brown hair and kind eyes. And a beard. I'm not huge into facial hair.

I didn't want to say yes and have him think I was flirting, so instead I answered, "I have a boyfriend."

He seemed to find that funny. "That's not what I asked."

So I nodded. "As long as you know this isn't going anywhere … white wine?"

He called to the bartender, "Yo, Benny! Gimme a white wine for the lady and I'll have a scotch on the rocks."

Benny started fixing the drinks and the first man turned to face me. "So what's your boyfriend's name?"

"Jo-" I caught myself from saying something I would definitely have regretted. "Joey."

He chuckled and held out a hand. "Jon."

"Harley." I really loved the nickname Joker had picked for me. Jon shook my hand and then accepted the drinks from Benny.

He held out the wine glass, which I accepted gratefully. "Enjoy, Harley." He lifted his tumbler in a salute and I clinked my glass to his.

"Thank you, Jon." I smiled and took my first chilled sip. It was divine. He gave me a nod farewell and moved away from the bar. I perched on a cushioned barstool and continued to people watch. My eyes kept dragging back to the strippers and I'm not ashamed to say I enjoyed watching them dance.

Another man offered me a shot before I had even finished my wine. I declined, but he had Benny leave it in front of me anyways. About five minutes after draining my glass I thought Fuck it and knocked back the shot. A group of young women approached and ordered a round of Lemon Drops.

"You want one?" Asked a tipsy brunette. "It's my bachelorette party!"

"Sure." I smiled. They all clinked shot glasses with me before shouting. "Mailleaux!"

"Is that a toast?" I asked the brunette.

"My fiancé's last name," she laughed and then she turned back to Benny, "Two more for all my girls!"

He set about fixing the long line of shots as the woman started sharing details about her upcoming nuptials. Soon enough the bridal party picked up their shots and moved on. Benny placed two more Lemon Drops in front of me.

"Oh, I don't think she meant me!" I tried to give them back but he just shrugged.

"They're already on their tab. You might as well take 'em."

"You want one?" I picked it up and held it towards him.

The bartender took the offered shot, downed it, and flipped the glass upside down onto the bar. "Thanks."

He moved on to another customer and I swallowed the booze quickly. A few more people bought me drinks. I lost track of how many. More than I should have accepted for sure. I'm pretty sure I bought a few rounds as well. My bank statement will probably confirm that for me. I was thoroughly drunk before long.

I felt someone press up against my back and heard a voice close by my ear. "Hey, sexy. You wanna come home with me?"

I turned around to find a boy no more than eighteen leaning entirely too close into my space. He tried to smirk but he just looked constipated. I snorted and shook my head. "Nah."

"Aw, come on, beautiful. I could show you a really good time." His thumb brushed my cheek. I didn't like him touching me.

"Aren't you a little young to be hitting on me … to be in here?" I was saying things I didn't intend to say.

He winked at me. "Don't tell anyone."

I frowned. This guy was starting to get on my nerves. I pushed his hand away from my face. "Don't touch me."

I went to slide off the barstool, but he grabbed onto my arm. "Where you goin'?"

I tried to pull my arm away, but his grip just got tighter. "Get off of me!"

Out of nowhere, a fist shot out and hit the kid square across the face. He was on the ground in seconds. I followed the fist up the arm, across the shoulder, and to Jon's bearded face. _Where the hell did he come from?_

Jon looked to Benny and ordered, "Get security to kick this guy out. And ban him."

Benny nodded and picked up a phone from under the bar.

"Let's get you a cab home." Jon said to me.

"Thanks, Jon."

He brought me outside, hailed a cab, and paid for the fare. "Make sure she gets home safe."

The cabbie nodded and I fell asleep on the ride back to my apartment. I don't even remember how I got inside. But I woke in my bed at noon the following day with a nasty hangover.

It's 9 fucking 30 PM and I'm only just now starting to feel better. I'm never drinking again. But I am going to bed.

Tomorrow I will be completely unsupervised with Mr. J.


	11. Chapter 11

My body was positively vibrating with excitement on my way into work. I practically danced down the sidewalk toward Arkham.

 _I shouldn't be this happy about seeing my patient._

 _Aw, shut up. Who fucking cares?_

I made my way to my office in max, straightening things in preparation for his session. Continually my eyes looked to the clock, urging the hands to move faster. Finally, there was a knock at the door and I rushed to it, though I paused to take a breath before actually pulling it open.

There he was, in all his glory. The guards pushed him inside and turned to leave.

"Excuse me," I stopped them and pointed to the white coat that covered his upper half. "I don't allow straightjackets in my office."

The male guard looked back and forth from me to Joker before worriedly asking, "You sure?"

I arched a brow, "Are you questioning doctor's orders?"

"No ma'am," replied both the guards and they set to removing his straightjacket as J eyed me with a victorious smirk.

"Did you enjoy your weekend?" His voice sounded taunting.

I shrugged, "It was fine."

One of the guards handed me the half folded straightjacket as the other clicked on the white noise machine. All the offices had one, for the confidentiality of the patients. They walked out into the hall and J closed the door, his fingers flicking the lock. That one simple motion had my heart in my throat.

He flipped the light switch to the OFF position and turned to face me with a grin. "We're officially alone."

"Won't you take a seat?" I gestured to the couch against one wall as rain started to patter against my windows.

He didn't go straight for the furniture, instead strolling around the room as his eyes took in everything. And as he passed by the varying lamps he clicked them off one by one until there was only one left illuminating. Then he rolled onto the couch, lying flat on his back and staring at the ceiling.

"Pain is pleasure, Doc." He started and I pulled out a chair to face him, sitting down with my legs crossed. "Pleasure is pain. … I hope you'll let me teach you one day."

I ignored that. "How was _your_ weekend?"

He frowned. "Long."

 _I know the feeling._

He tilted his head to look at me, "I'm sure you agree."

 _Can he read my mind?_

I cleared my throat, "What would you like to discuss today, Mr. Joker?"

"Harley," he admonished, "call me J."

My teeth caught the corner of my lower lip as I remembered sitting on his lap. There was nothing to stop me from doing it again. Except for _me_ , of course.

Those blue eyes cast up at the ceiling again. "I wanna talk about desire."

I felt my cheeks flush with anticipation. As he continued, his hands began to move while he talked. It was thrilling to see him so unencumbered and I fell entranced to his movements, eyeing the card suit tattoos that adorned his right knuckles as they flashed in my direction occasionally.

"I have everything I could ever want. Everything that could be bought, I own it all." His hands danced in the air above him and his voice took on a magical tone. "I have things I didn't even know existed. … But there's one thing I don't have."

"And what is that?"

"A _queen_." There was a beat of pause and he continued, "I never needed one. The King of Gotham rules alone. Well … not completely alone." He grinned wickedly. "I never lacked company in my bed. This city is full of girls just waiting to be plucked up, used, and thrown aside."

I tried my hardest not to picture Joker's bed.

"And use them I did. I had my fun and sent them on their way. … Most of them anyway." He glanced over at me again, speaking a low gravelly tone, "They didn't all survive."

 _I should be afraid._ But I wasn't. The most psychotic man in Gotham had my full, complete trust.

"You killed them." My voice was filled with awe.

His eyes flicked back to the ceiling with disgust. "They were boring. Or _clingy_. It doesn't matter if they lived or died, they were all the same. Unsatisfying."

"So why need a queen?"

"I don't." he snapped. "I don't _need_ anything."

"But desire…"

"Ah, now that's different." A slow smile curved his features. "See, I never wanted for anyone or anything. What use to me is a woman? … But now, over a half a year has passed since I was last touched. I find myself … _wanting_."

A delicious shudder swept down my spine.

"Not just anyone. No, she has to be perfect. Powerful … wild … she'll rule this city at my side and everyone will fear her. She takes what she wants with no apologies and fuck anyone who says otherwise. … A total sex kitten. Yeah." Though his eyes drifted closed, his hands never stopped moving above him. "She'll fuck whoever she wants, but she'll always come back to me. Because I will be the only thing she truly _needs_."

"You don't want her loyalty?"

"Loyalty? Ha! Loyalty doesn't mean monogamy. Loyalty means that everything she does is for me. What do I care who she has between her legs when I own her soul?"

"So you want someone you can own."

"She will _belong_ to me. Mind, body, soul. And she'll know what I know to be true."

"Which is?"

His eyes opened then and locked onto mine. " _Pain is pleasure_."

I felt a flood of wetness spread into my underwear.

"Those chemicals didn't just make me crazy. They _unlocked my cells_. Pain and pleasure, pleasure and pain … they are intertwined. I enjoy being beaten because if feels _glorious_. And when I cum, it's like my body has caught on fire. There is no pleasure without pain, Harley. They are _one and the same_."

 _Why is this turning me on?_

"All that pussy didn't satisfy because those girls didn't understand. They didn't _submit_."

"Submit?"

"Surely you've come across domination and submission in all that psychobabble." He vaguely gestured to the bookshelf littered with books.

I couldn't keep the lust from invading my tone. "You want to dominate her."

"She will _need_ to submit. Nothing will ever compare to my domination and I'll be the only one who can ever really get her to cum. Because –" And here we spoke together, "Pain is pleasure."

He smiled at me, enjoying the way I yearned for him. "That's my fetish, Doc. Cum. I want to bathe in her juices. I want to cover her in my fluids and watch as she spreads them onto people unawares. I want to make her orgasm until she forgets how to breathe."

My pussy clenched and trembled as my breath caught in my lungs. Everything he said was intoxicating. _I want that._

"And that's why she'll be mine. I'll own her because she wants to be owned. She'll never leave because I will hold the key to everything she wants."

He sat up suddenly then, one swift motion that had his bare feet on the floor. He stared into me, melting my will to his. One hand patted the couch next to him and he said, "Come over here, Doc. Sit next to me."

 _I shouldn't do this._ But my body responded, carrying me across the short distance to settle next to him. He turned to face me, placing a hand on my knee. Electricity jolted through me from his touch. I found myself struggling to breathe normally.

"Do you want me?" His voice was a caress that slithered over my form.

 _Don't answer that!_

"Yes." I whispered.

 _Damnit!_

A low, seductive growl trilled between his teeth. And then his lips were crushing mine, his palms on either side of my jaw, fingers trailing around the back of my head. He pulled me into him, drawing me closer. My lower lip was sucked into his mouth and he nibbled, sending shockwaves pulsing to my pussy. His hands trailed down from my face, rubbing over my breasts before travelling lower. Before I could even realize what he was doing, they were under my skirt and yanking on my underwear.

"I'm gonna make this little kitty _purr_."

And then he was kneeling on the floor, pulling my hips to the edge of the couch. He roughly shoved my skirt up around my waist before pushing my legs up and exposing my pussy. One long lick up my folds and I could already feel the need for release.

"Mmmmm." He moaned against my flesh. "Just like pumpkin pie."

He licked again, lapping at the fluid that was coating me before sucking my clit into his mouth. I groaned, my hands fluttering down to curl in his hair. He suckled like a babe, driving me higher. And then he bit down on the nub with those metal teeth and I came, squirting my juices on his chin.

" _Good girl_." He praised before thrusting his tongue inside me.

I pulled away, but his hands gripped onto my hips, dragging me closer. Whenever I took care of myself, I always stopped after orgasm, figuring the deed was done. Clearly J didn't agree with that mentality.

In and out his tongue danced and I felt another climax building. _He really knows what he's doing_. When I came again, he drank from my opening, swallowing as noisily as he could. Then he pulled back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and staring at me with lust.

"Lay down." He ordered and I did, never breaking his gaze. He climbed onto the couch, kneeling between my legs, and pushed down his Arkham issue sweatpants.

I felt the tip of his cock slide up and down my folds and my eyes rolled back in my head. The pleasure that filled every corner of my body was exquisite. I felt delirious.

Long fingers curled around my throat and he posed a question. "Tell me, doctor. Your darkest desire… you wanna _lose control_?" And then he bent over me, his cock pressing at my opening, teasing entry. His breath washed over my face and his tone was dangerous. " _Or do you wanna give it to me_?"

I shuddered as ripples of pleasure swept through me.

As he'd spoken, his fingers drew tighter against my neck, slowly squeezing more and more until air would no longer pass through my throat. I attempted to nod, but only managed in lowering my chin slightly.

"What was that?" he taunted. " _I can't hear you_."

His fingers relaxed their grip then and air flooded my lungs, though his hand didn't move away. I opened my eyes to find his mere inches away, staring into me. I knew what I wanted. What I needed.

"I'm yours." I whispered.

He shook his head, making tutting sounds, "Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. …. _Louder_."

"I'm _yours_." My voice has never sounded so sure.

He thrust into me, his fingers squeezing around my throat again. His mouth crushed mine, desperate with hunger as he pounded relentlessly. Desire coiled in my cunt as he filled me, sliding in and out and destroying everything else in existence until there was nothing left but him inside me.

His lips pulled away from mine and lowered to my ear to whisper, " _Cum for Daddy_."

The reaction was instantaneous. I exploded, gushing around his cock and he chuckled darkly.

"Good girl." He moaned against my ear. And when he didn't slow I found myself cumming again and again in succession, a never ending orgasm that filled every fiber of my being. "Good girl, good girl, good girl."

Never in my life have I felt like I did in that moment. And I'm not completely inexperienced. Busy as I was in college, I still had a couple boyfriends. I still found time for fucking. But they never made me stream like this. Hell, I can't even make me stream like this. _Can those even be called orgasms anymore?_

Nothing will compare to submission. Giving up control is a drug. Giving _him_ control is my drug. I know already that I am an addict. I'll give anything for a fix; for his hand around my throat. I'll do anything to feel him pumping inside me. I never want this to end.

I'd always thought I didn't enjoy sex. My exes certainly never brought me pleasure. In fact, I would get off harder listening to my dormmate get fucked by the string of guys she was constantly bringing home. Talk about awkward and confusing. When my experiences with sex didn't bring me gratification, I gave up on boys and focused on my studies.

But this … This is bliss like I never thought possible. He buried himself in me, demanding and taking and stealing my essence. But everything he took he returned tenfold … a hundredfold. He filled my body with exquisite delight and owned every thought in my head. My cunt bore down, gripping his cock tightly.

I felt him shudder but not slow and he growled, "You're gonna make me cum, pumpkin."

Don't ask me where it came from, but I begged, "Fill me up, Daddy."

The sounds that he made were absolute _heaven_. Joyous and excruciating. He threw his head backward, his hand tightening around my throat as he came hard and I felt myself climaxing in time with him. He slowed and then stilled, his cock still pulsing inside me.

When he pulled out, the corners of my vision started to dim. His hand was still cutting off my oxygen. My brain started to panic and my hands pushed at his chest. But he was far stronger and I couldn't move him. I clawed at his hand and he smiled wide.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah." He tutted. "Not yet."

Tears flooded my eyes as fear overrode my system. His eyes gleamed as he pushed down on my throat, pinning me to the couch. The shadows at the edges of my vision grew and I started to feel weak.

That's when he bent over me again to lick from my jawbone to my temple before placing his lips by my ear and commanding, " _Cum_."

My pussy flooded as it obeyed, the strongest orgasm I have ever felt ripping through me. I screamed but only heard a strangled gurgle.

"Oh, _gooood girlll_." He trilled, releasing my neck completely and peppering my mouth with little kisses. As air slammed into my lungs, my cunt shuddered again, forcing continued release. I sucked in oxygen and cried out at the same time. The hand that had been on my throat covered my mouth but left my nostrils exposed so I could continue to gasp for air.

"Now, now." He chuckled. "We don't want the guards to hear."

When my breathing normalized he removed his hand and sat back. As I sat up there sounded three successive knocks. My eyes snapped to the door as fear once again overtook. _Oh god, they heard me._

"Lunch, Dr. Quinzel!" Came a female voice and I felt my body relax.

"Just a minute!" I jumped from the couch, pulling my skirt down and trying to smooth away the wrinkles. When I turned to make sure J was righting himself, I discovered him twirling my thong around one finger.

I reached out a hand for it and he snickered. "Oh, no." He said. And then he was in front of me, shoving his hand up my skirt and the fabric between my juicy lips. "This is _mine_."

I was so surprised by what he had done that I stood frozen, staring at him. He pulled the panties out and took a long whiff before tucking the scrap of lace into the waistband of his pants, all the while smirking at me. Challenging me to disagree. But how could I? I'd give him anything he asked of me.

I walked to my desk and picked up the loathsome straightjacket. It wasn't right to confine him. _He deserves to be free._

With a sigh I unlocked the door and pulled it open, holding out the straightjacket to the first guard that entered. She took it and stepped to J, holding it open in front of him. He complied without being asked, sliding his arms into the sleeves and bending the elbows as required. The whole time he stared at me, watching me, knowing that I could still feel him inside me.

"See ya later, Doc." He grinned as they led him from the room

And he will. This afternoon. _Alone in my office._


	12. Chapter 12

_SHE CANNOT DO THIS. I WILL KILL HER. I WILL FUCKING BURN HER HOUSE TO THE GROUND WITH HER IN IT. SMASH IN HER FACE. RIP OFF HER LIMBS. POUR DRANO DOWN HER THROAT. I WILL FUCKING KILL HER. SHE CAN'T DO THIS!_

No, wait, let me go back.

I left my office in a daze, feeling slightly wobbly kneed and absolutely ravenous. My mind was full of J, relishing in reliving all that had just occurred. And because of that, I wasn't paying attention. I didn't see the commotion just a short distance ahead and I heard the yelled warnings two seconds too late.

I recognized Lon, my former level 8 patient, running full speed at me. My hands threw before my face on instinct and I was thrown into the wall. He slammed his forearm onto the back of my shoulders, pushing me tight against the painted cement before grabbing my hair and smashing the side of my skull repeatedly while he howled, "I AIN'T GOIN' BACK!"

The scream that tore from my throat echoed down the halls.

And then my head was yanked backward, the pressure on my back disappearing as the guards pulled Lon off of me. I dropped to the ground, tears streaming, trying and failing to hold back the wail burning in my chest. I gently touched the side of my head and found blood when I pulled my hand away.

Everything happened so fast after that. Doctors and more guards came running. Lon shrieked incessantly when the guards lifted him off the ground and carted him away. Two psychiatrists brought me back to my office, a third calling 911, and another scurrying to notify Alera.

The EMTs got to my office before my boss did. They told me I was lucky my skull hadn't caved in and worried over the possibility of fractures. The torn skin on my scalp wasn't too bad either. Head wounds just bleed a lot, so I looked far worse than the size of the wound warranted. They checked for a concussion and luckily didn't find one.

I couldn't convince them not to take me to the hospital, and so I took my first ambulance ride. The doctors took x-rays and quadruple checked for concussion. They fussed and fettered and all around pissed me off. It took some convincing, but I was released around 4 PM. I took a cab back to Arkham.

The security guard outside must have called Alera when I passed him, because she was waiting for me the second I got inside.

"What are you doing here?"

I just sighed, "What, Alera?"

"You should be at home."

I rolled my eyes and moved past her. "I have a job to do."

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, Harleen. You were attacked."

"And checked out. I'm fine."

Her brown eyes burned with rage and she pointed at my office in minimum. There would be no appeasing her, so I just stalked into my office and closed the door once she entered.

"I knew it was a bad idea. Yet I still let you talk me into it. I thought I could trust you. But you had his straightjacket _removed_?"

My heart dropped into my stomach. _She knows … shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!_

Oh my god I fucked a patient.

 _No, I fucked a god. And I'd do it again._

"How could you be so thoughtless?" she demanded. I tried to swallow but found my mouth too dry. She pointed at me, "You were attacked by your patient."

My brows furrowed in confusion. "I didn't take Lon's-"

"Not _Lon_." Her tone implied she thought I was stupid. "The Joker."

"What?" _He didn't hurt me._

She gestured to the mirror hanging over my desk. "I have eyes, Harleen! You think just because you don't tell me what happens in a session, I can't see it for myself?!"

I went and looked in the mirror. _Shit._ Five distinct bruises, marking where his fingers had been on my throat. I sat heavily in the chair before my desk and swiveled to face her, eyes wide. _I have to fix this._

"It must have been Lon."

"I have statements from two guards. Lon never touched your neck. The only other patient you've seen is the Joker. … But, please, try lying to me again." She was livid. "He is far too violent."

"Alera, it wasn't that bad. I had full control –"

"Control? _Control_?! You think anyone can control this psychotic?!" I have never seen her so angry.

"Dr. Standness."

"You are off this case."

I forgot how to breathe. Somehow I choked out, "You can't do that."

"Like hell I can't." her arms crossed over her chest. "If it were up to me, he'd be in the highest security prison there is; a guinea pig for whatever scientist wanted to experiment on him."

My hands curled into fists. I wanted to hit her.

"But the board says he has to stay here, so I'm stuck with him. You, however, are going to take the rest of the week off to recover. Three attacks in one day, Dr. Quinzel. What the hell is in the water around here?"

"Three?"

"I wasn't sure if one of the other doctors contacted you. I guess not."

"About what?"

She walked to the door and opened it. "Come with me."

I followed her through minimum, the security block between wings, and through the halls of max.

"You don't think it's that bad? You think you have _control_?" she shook her head angrily. "The guards were still bringing him back to his cell when Lon attacked you. They heard your screams. And when more guards ran out from the nearby security office, where they had just seen the attack on the monitors, they stupidly told their coworkers that it was you and Lon. They told _him_ that."

 _Oh, fuck._

"The ones transporting him wanted to go and help. So they weren't focused when making the transition into his cell. He lifted a set of keys. And then they had to go and carry Lon by Joker's cell down to solitary. He watched where they put him. He waited for the guards to leave and he let himself out."

She had taken me a different way to solitary, so we hadn't passed by the cells. She stopped in front of one of the doors before opening it with a flourish. "Then he did _this_."

Every wall was splattered with blood. Even the ceiling had curved lines of cast off. The floor couldn't be seen under the sea of red. The body lying in the middle of the room had tiny cuts everywhere, the face so bashed in that I wouldn't have recognized him if I didn't know already that it was Lon.

"He used the keys as brass knuckles. We're still waiting on the coroner."

Surrounded by violence, I felt loved. "He was protecting me."

"Are you an idiot, Harleen?"

 _"The fuck kinda name is Harleen anyways?"_ echoed in my head. I scowled at her.

"I'm the only one who understands him. I'm the only one he'll open up to. You can't take me off this case, Alera, he needs me."

She snorted, "What he needs is a lobotomy."

I snapped viciously. "What he _needs_ is a doctor's care. Someone who actually gives a shit about his wellbeing and will help him."

"That will not be you."

"Who else, Alera?!"

"This man attacked one of my psychiatrists. Then he killed one of my patients before locking himself back in his cell like nothing had happened. I am _trying_ to protect you from him."

 _I don't need your protection._

"No one else will work with him. You take me off this case and leave him locked in his cell untreated, so help me I will contact every single member of the board and tell them exactly how you are treating the highest profile case to ever come through Arkham."

She scowled at me. "Fine."

 _Yes!_

"I will being taking over his care."

 ** _NO!_**

"Alera –"

"Go home, Dr. Quinzel."

"You can't do this."

"When you come back next week, you'll have your old caseload."

"Alera, _please_."

"Go. Home."

I whirled away from her, finding a trail of bloody footprints leading down the hall. I followed, led quickly to the thick bullet-proof glass cells. J was kneeling at the front of his, watching our conversation, blood still splattered over his face and coating his hands. My legs carried me to him, dropping before the front of his cell. Our eyes locked and I fought the catch in my voice. "Thank you."

"Anything for you, my little harlequin."

And then Alera was grabbing my arm, yanking me to my feet. She stomped away from the cells, dragging me with her. I couldn't stop my hand from reaching back for him. I couldn't stop my heart from breaking. _I'll never see him again._

"I told you to go home." She raged. She didn't take her hand off my arm until we were standing outside. One final glare from her and she spat, "Do not try me, Harleen. Don't come back before next week."

I swing from fury to sorrow and back. I fear I am losing my mind. Anguish hits me like truck that just won't stop coming.

I will kill her for this. She can't take him away from me. I need him.

 _How am I supposed to survive without him?_


	13. Chapter 13

My apartment looks like a crime scene. I alternated between sobbing forlornly and breaking things in rage all day Tuesday. Shattered dishes cover every surface of my kitchen. Mugs, plates, bowls, I trashed everything. Every mirror was smashed with the golf club I'd saved from a pile of curbside trash and brought home for protection. I threw books at the walls, putting in more than a few dents and holes. Any piece of furniture that could be thrown or knocked over was. And then I took the club to my fridge.

I didn't know what to do with myself. So I sat in the mess and turned on the TV – the one thing that had been spared from my vehemence. I couldn't tell you what I watched, it was more for noise than entertainment. My mind would not stray from Joker. He had brought me to the heights of euphoria. And Alera dragged me to the depths of desolation.

 _I hope he kills her._

Yesterday, when I wasn't keening desolately in my bed, I used the golf club to smash all the broken dishes into a million tiny shards.

10:30 this morning my cell phone rang. It was Alera's private work number. At first I was so filled with furor that I nearly threw my phone. But then the thought that he could be hurt seized my heart and I answered. "What."

Silence loomed. I began conjuring images of my Joker wounded. Just when I opened my mouth to demand she answer me, she sighed and a very tired, defeated voice came through the phone. "He won't work with me."

Relief swept through me. And then I smiled. _That's my J._

"The only thing he'll say to me is that he doesn't like me and he only wants you." My heart exploded in my chest. I could swear I died in that moment. "Otherwise he's very … hostile."

I forced a clinical tone. "How so?"

"He stares. Malevolently. He doesn't speak, but I'm terrified the whole time. It's like …" her voice shuddered. "It's like I can see him tearing me apart in his head."

My smile only widened. I let a pause linger. "And?"

"I need you to come in."

 _Play it cool, Harley._

"It's only Thursday. You ordered me to recover until Monday."

"Please, Dr. Quinzel." She fought to sound authoritative, but I could detect pleading in her tone. "Your patient needs care."

" _Where was that concern three days ago?_ " I spat into the phone, unable to mask my ferocity.

"I didn't know." She sighed again. "I read his file. I talked with his previous psychiatrists. I thought I knew what he was. … I was wrong."

I didn't speak.

"What do you want, Harleen? Do you want an apology? I'm sorry. I was wrong, you were right. If he actually talks to you, if he's actually making progress with you, then clearly he needs you as his psychiatrist. Now will you _please_ take back your patient?"

"I'll be in for his afternoon session." I hung up the phone and danced around the shambles of my apartment.

Then I showered and shaved and dressed carefully. I decided not to bother trying to open the severely dented fridge and went to the closest convenience store to grab some lunch. Inside I found a rotating standee of adorable little stuffed animals. On the top shelf was a mostly white cat that caught my eye as soon as I entered the shop.

 _I'm gonna make this little kitty_ _ **purr**_ _._

A grin swept over my lips and I bought the cat along with my meal. I ate while I walked to the subway station, my skin positively buzzing. Everything was right with the world.

I half expected Alera to be waiting for me when I got to the asylum, but she was nowhere to be seen. No matter. She would have only ruined my mood. I fixed myself a cup of coffee in the breakroom before making my way to my office.

The note she left on my desk informing me that Joker's office privileges had been revoked barely dimmed my happiness. I was going to see him again. Yes, he would be restrained, but I would _see him_.

My heels clicked through the halls to security 1. The guards nodded at me as I passed them into the room.

"There she is." He grinned at me as I approached. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face.

I placed my usual legal pad and pen on the table along with my coffee cup before sitting down across from him.

"Dr. Quinzel." He drawled out my name and sent my stomach tying into knots. "You know I live for these moments with you."

"I know what you mean." I murmured. Being separated was like being dead. I hadn't really known what living was until that first session with him. "I missed you."

"Me too, baby. You and that delicious pussy."

That's when I remembered his gift and I reached into my pocket.

"What do you got?" God, his voice does things to me.

"I got you a kitty." I grinned, holding it out for him to see.

"So thoughtful."

I glowed under his praise as I set the toy down in the middle of the table. "I heard you were … _difficult_ for Dr. Standness."

"That cunt deserves what's coming to her."

A wide smile plastered my lips. "What do you have planned?"

"Uh, uh." He snapped his teeth at me. "I don't wanna spoil the surprise."

I giggled. It seemed to please him.

He leaned forward, staring into me, dropping his tone seductively, "Come on, baby. Gimme a taste of that sweet pie."

I glanced over my shoulder at the security camera and he forced my attention back to him, "Ah, ah, ah. Don't worry about that." He waited for me to be looking him in the eye and then he said, "Do it for Daddy."

Arousal sparked a flood in my crotch and I gasped. He smirked, knowing I would obey. I'd do anything he asked. I leaned back in my chair and kept my eyes locked on his as I slid my hand under the waistband of my skirt – the same one he'd fucked me in – to slip a finger between my folds. Once thoroughly coated, I carefully withdrew my hand and wiped my finger around my mouth like it held lip gloss. Then I moved forward, leaning onto the table in the same way I had the first time we'd kissed.

"Oh, you're a _baaad girl_ , aren't you?"

"Only for you."

His tongue swiped across my lips before he claimed my mouth in a rough kiss. "Just as mouthwatering as I remember." He moaned against my lips.

By the time I sat down again, my pussy was absolutely aching. I yearned for him to fill me, but there was no way I was going that far in an unlocked, monitored room. The risk that a security officer might be looking at our feed right then was part of what turned me on so much during the kiss. But I'd be arrested for sure if I was caught having sex with a patient. It's technically rape because of my position of power as his doctor. Though the thought of me having any kind of power over him was laughable. I snickered.

"What's funny?"

"It's nothing."

"Come now. We both know how much I love a joke."

One side of my mouth curved up in a smirk. "Just the thought of me having power over you."

"Oh, but you do have power over me." His voice was enticing. "Don't you remember my little present in solitary?"

The carnage flashed into my mind. I had never seen so much blood. "You killed for me."

"Nobody touches my Harley girl." Danger and fury and possessiveness filled his tone. My heart floated from joy.

"Thank you, again. I've never been so scared." The next was attempted to be muttered under my breath, but I'm positive he heard me. "I feel like I owe you something."

I tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear as he leaned forward in his chair, staring into me, "There is something you can do for me, doctor."

"Anything. I mean, yeah."

His eyes never strayed from mine. "I need a machine gun."

"A machine gun?" I think I nodded because next he was chuckling, a wide smile crinkling his eyes.

"I think it's time I got out of here."

 _He deserves to be free._

"Of course." _Where the hell do I get a machine gun?_ "I don't … I mean I've never bought a gun."

"It'll be delivered."

"What?"

"At your apartment. You just need to bring it in tomorrow and get it to me. … And leave one of the security doors unlocked so I can escape."

"I don't have keys to the outer security doors."

He started to gag then, making odd coughing sounds. Before I could react to my concern for him, he spat a brass colored key onto the table. "Fools never counted the key ring I used to kill Lonnie."

I snatched it quickly and put it in my pocket. I didn't want it turning up on the security tapes. "You're sure this is the right one?"

He gave me a look.

"Why didn't you just leave after you killed Lon?"

"I'd never make it past all those guards. That's why I need you to bring me the gun." _He needs me._ "And I wanted to see you again." _He_ _ **wants**_ _me._

"I'll help you." I smiled. Then joked, "After all, I am your doctor."


	14. Chapter 14

The past 24 hours have been insanity. Things I never could have predicted happening … violence like I never expected.

It started when I got home Thursday evening to find my apartment was immaculate. Every piece of furniture was in place, all my books organized as they had been. The mess was gone, but the fridge was still dented and the walls still showed proof of my anger. I started to question my sanity, wondering what the hell was going on.

That's when I noticed the briefcase lying on my coffee table, confirming that someone else had been in my apartment. On top of it sat a crystal single-stem vase holding a fully bloomed red rose, a note tied with ribbon attached. I picked up the vase, inhaling deeply of the rose's scent before flipping the note over to read

 _"Pumpkin,_  
 _See you soon._  
 _J"_

When I opened the briefcase I found pieces of a machine gun waiting to be put together before use encased in customized foam. Joker's men must have broken in, cleaned up, and left the gun for his escape. But why did they bother straightening my apartment?

I barely slept last night. I was too excited. Nerves filled my stomach this morning as I got ready to go to work. The briefcase was light, but it weighed so heavily on me. I felt like everyone on the subway was staring. My heart thundered in my chest as I walked into Arkham and had to pass dozens of guards. I was certain they were going to ask me why my hand was shaking when I swiped through the security station between wings. But no one said a word.

I started in the direction of my office, but veered down one of the halls and to the door J had specified I unlock for him. I don't know why I tested it first, it was definitely locked. I took the key from my pocket and unlocked the door, then tested it again, letting it open less than an inch before I pulled it closed again. Then I turned and went straight to my office and locked myself inside.

 _What am I doing?_

 _He_ _ **deserves**_ _to be_ _ **free**_ _._

I lay down on the couch, struggling to calm my nerves. One last step. I just had to get him the gun, and then my part was over. Unbidden, memories played in my mind. I relived our one office session and by the time I was recalling him getting back into the straightjacket, I wasn't so worried about what I was doing.

I walked to security 1 with a smile, and even nodded to the guards before I passed. The door closed behind me and I brought the briefcase to the table. He grinned at me.

"Get me out of this thing." He stood from the chair he was shackled to and I quickly moved next to him to undo the belts and buckles of the straightjacket. When he was free, he tossed the cursed thing aside and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I don't have a key to the chains."

"I'll have that sorted soon enough." He cricked his neck and pulled a cell phone from his sweatpants.

"Where did you get a phone?"

He just laughed and typed on the cell. Then he tossed it over his shoulder into the corner of the room before pulling the briefcase toward him and opening it. One by one, he pulled out the pieces and assembled the machine gun in quick succession. "Call them in here."

"What?"

"The guards. Call the guards in here."

I stared at him for a moment and he clicked the last piece into place. Then he whipped the table sideways, the briefcase clattering to the ground as he snarled, " _Now_ , Harley."

I jumped at his anger and shrieked, "GUARDS!"

The door opened as gunfire rang out somewhere in the building. They ran into security 1 and J opened fire, mowing them down while laughing. I threw myself backward, away from the carnage, and pressed myself against the wall. Screams drifted through the open door, never ending gunshots echoing the halls. Terror invaded my heart.

"What's happening?!"

"Get the keys." He ordered. I moved to the closest guard, taking his keyring from his belt and going to unlock the shackles that bound the Joker. When I stood, looking up at him with trepidation, he grabbed my chin in his hand, fingers curling up my cheeks and he smiled maliciously, "Now, _run_."

And he shoved me away from him, gripping the gun with both hands. I stumbled but somehow managed to catch myself before falling. When J turned the muzzle of the gun to point at me, I ran from the room. Shots rang out behind me; shots rang out ahead of me.

 _I'm going to die._

I sprinted down the hall, darting around a corner to see men in costumes mowing down employees and patients alike. I couldn't slow, couldn't spare a second. I darted through that hall, skidding left and right in hopes of preventing getting shot. Somehow, I made it to my office and slammed the door closed, flicking the lock before dragging my desk in front of it.

I rushed to open one of the windows, but found it sealed shut. Same with the second. The sounds of automatic gunfire and screaming wouldn't end and I found myself scrunched into the smallest ball I could in a corner of the room, my hands pressed over my ears.

He was just supposed to leave. He'd told me to unlock the door so he could get out, but instead I let these people in. _Everyone is going to die, and it's going to be my fault._

I don't know how long I hid before gunshots exploded through my door. I shrieked in horror as bullets tore through the knob, embedding into the desk. Someone pushed on the door, but it only opened a couple inches before hitting the desk. Then the door shook in its hinges as repeated slams forced the desk away a little at a time. Once open wide enough, a familiar face stepped inside.

My mouth dropped open. "Jon?"

The bearded man eyed me with a smirk, "Actually, it's Jonny."

My blood ran cold. " _Frost_?!"

He chuckled. "J said he'd told you about me."

I flashed back to that evening in the club, "You knew who I was. That's why you helped me."

"I know everything about you, Dr. Quinzel." He chuckled darkly. "How's _Joey_?"

Then he shoved the desk completely away from the door, allowing more men to enter. One arm swept toward me and he looked to the masked men. "You know the boss's orders."

I screamed when they enclosed, fighting when they grabbed me and lifted me to my feet. "No!"

I didn't stop fighting the entire time they dragged me along with them. _Where are they taking me?!_

Once I realized where we were going, I started to fight even harder; dragging my feet and yanking on my arms wildly. But I couldn't break free. "No, please. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" They pushed me into the shock therapy room. Once inside, Jonny took me from them, gripping my upper arms and pulling me to the table.

"NO!" I shrieked, kicking out at him. I grunted when he shoved me down onto it then yelped, "Get off me!"

"Shh." Jonny hissed as he pulled on my arms, someone else gripping my legs and yanking them straight. "Don't make this harder than it has to be." I fought against them, but they looped the straps and buckled them tight with ease before moving away from the table.

From the other side of the room came J's voice. "What do we have here?"

He approached shirtless, shoving a light down in my face once he'd gotten to the head of the table and leaned down to look into me with those crystal blue eyes.

"I did everything you said. I helped you."

"Ah." He smiled, but it so quickly turned to rage. " _You_ helped _me_ … by _erasing my mind_ , worked through _faded memories I had_." His fists slammed the table on either side of my head while he spoke and my eyes squeezed shut against his fury.

He ran his fingers through his hair as he said, "No. … No, Alera barked and you left me in a black hole of rage and confusion."

"That wasn't my-"

"Is that the medicine you practice, Dr. Quinzel?" He tugged on the middle finger of the purple nitrile glove on his right hand, stretching the latex before releasing it and clasping his fingers together to settle the material around his digits again.

"What are you gonna do, you gonna kill me, Mistah J?" Fear removed all pretention from my tone.

"What?" He turned his head, tapping his ear as if he hadn't heard me. But I knew he did. He stood up straight, staring down at me before picking up the wands. "Oh, I'm not gonna kill ya."

The wands danced in circles as he spoke. "I'm just gonna hurt ya … really, really _bad_."

"You think so?" I stared at him with devotion. _Pain is pleasure. Pleasure is pain_. "Well I can take it."

He smirked at me and put the wands down, picking up an old strap that had previously been taken off the table and replaced. He folded it in half and snapped the leather above me. I opened my mouth and he pushed the strap into it. "I wouldn't want you to break those perfect porcelain-capped teeth when the _juice_ hits your _brain_." He pressed his middle fingers to his temples, then he picked up the wands again.

They had barely touched my temples when he pressed the buttons and electricity coursed through me. My eyes snapped closed, every muscle pulling taught under the barrage of current. If it weren't for the straps holding me down I probably would have lifted clear off the table from the way my body arched. I tried to count how long he held the buttons, but my brain refused to obey commands.

The relief that swept through me when the voltage stopped bordered on euphoric. Two deep breaths flooded my lungs and he pressed the buttons again. Pain ravaged me. The length of this one seemed double that of the first.

When he released the buttons again, the relief that engulfed my body forced a soft moan. He chuckled and I opened my eyes to look up at him. The smirk was still on his face, mirth dancing in his eyes as he watched me. He nodded once and I heard the clicking of the dial indicating the intensity was being changed. My eyes never left his as the electricity hit me again, stronger this time. A low tone came from my vocal chords.

"That's it, baby." J coaxed. "Give in to it."

The groan slowly grew louder. Everything he'd said to me echoed in my head, riding along the waves of current until the very marrow of my bones bore his words. My moan hit its peak and the pain vanished. He'd released the buttons. The alleviation of my torment rippled through me in waves and my moan turned orgasmic.

He laughed and nodded once more. The clicking of the dial sounded again. My body stiffened in pain, then relaxed. My voice never quieted. Another nod, more clicking. More pain, more pleasure from abatement. I lost count of how many rounds he gave me. Arcs cracked over my psyche, weakening the structure of Harleen with each shock. I could feel myself changing; separating.

A giggle tripped from my throat and he put the wands down. I locked my eyes on his and tried to talk around the leather strap. When he pulled it from my mouth I took a few deep breaths, and a coquettish begging spilled from my lips, " _More_."

He leaned down again, a few locks of hair flipping forward. He pointed at his temples, twisting his hands back and forth, "You want more, baby?"

" _Yes._ "

"Beg me."

My body shuddered. "Please. Oh, _pretty please_ , Mistah J. I want you to hurt me."

He laughed again as he picked up the wands, putting them against my temples and clicking the buttons simultaneously. My teeth slammed together as the current filled my body. The pain screamed through me, shocking me down to my atoms. I violent scream tore from my throat as he held the buttons down far longer than he ever had before.

But when he let them go…

Sweet relief coiled and washed and swept out everything, waving in pleasure in its wake. My pussy gushed as climax overtook me. The wave carried me forever, ripples of bliss cascading through me. When it finally ceased I caught his eyes again and cooed, " _Pain is pleasure_."

Hands were pulling at the buckles then, undoing the straps as J put the wands down and kissed my lips. Then he came around to the side of the table and took my hand, helping me up and onto my feet. The way that he looked at me was intoxicating.

Screams echoed down the hall outside, growing louder as the woman drew closer. Then more masked men pushed Alera through the doors of the electroshock room, her terror palpable. J escorted me from the table as they approached, shoving her down roughly.

"Harleen!" she begged as tears streamed down her face, " _Help me!_ "

The men pulled her limbs straight, tying her down with the leather straps. I noticed the guy next to me had a 10 inch hunting knife sheathed on his belt and grinned wickedly. When Joker's henchmen stepped away from the table, I snatched the knife and rushed forward, raising it high so she knew it was coming before burying its full length in her stomach. Her screams reached a pitch before unheard as blood pooled around the knife and spilled across her stomach. Then I leaned close, staring her in the eyes, "I quit, Alera. … I'm goin' to join the circus. And the name is _Harley_."

One of his men took the wands, pressing them to her skull. Another pulled out a roll of duct tape and began winding it around her head, tightly enough that the buttons remained pressed down. I watched her closely as the tape continued to circle around her skull, electricity arcing from the knife in her torso. Then J took my hand and drew me close to him.

"Once you're done, leave her here. Torch the place and go home." He told his men. Then he led me from the room, laughing maniacally. And I couldn't help myself from laughing along with him.

"If you knew what was good for ya, you'd stay away from me." He said as he brought me outside, never letting go of my hand.

Jonny opened the rear door of a black Hummer waiting just outside the security door. J climbed in, holding my hand aloft to assist me in joining him. As I stepped up into the huge vehicle, I answered, "I don't want 'good.' … I want _you_."

The door closed behind me and Jonny was in the driver's seat in seconds, pulling away from the building. Gangster rap played from the speakers, the beat pulsing like gunshots. The vibration of the tires on the road made my body thrum, phantom electricity still coursing through my veins. J's hand tightened on mine, his eyes never straying from me. I pressed my thighs together when the Hummer bounced over a pothole, feeling the jolt squarely between my legs. My lips curled between my teeth and I bit down, trying to fight the growing need that burned within.

J leaned toward me, placing his mouth an inch away from my ear. In a throaty growl he commanded, " _Cum_."

My cunt released, bearing down and gushing my orgasm. I shuddered as pleasure swept through me. With a satisfied smirk he sat back, watching me closely. Then he reached into his pants and pulled out his very stiff, glorious cock.

"Now come over here and fuck me."

I was desperate to be filled, so I moved to obey him immediately, pulling up my skirt and climbing onto his lap. It didn't matter that Jonny was barely a few feet away, completely aware of everything that happened in the backseat as he drove. I _needed_ to feel him inside me.

He slid my panties to the side and pressed his tip at my opening. I slammed my hips down, taking his full length deep inside. A moan tumbled from my lips and he let out a breathy laugh, his hand at the back of my skull curling around a fistful of my hair. He pulled his other hand out from between us and it wrapped around my lower back, holding my body close against his. I started to move then, sliding up and down his shaft, my juices coating him. As I bounced, I felt an orgasm building and my breath came out in blissful gasps.

He yanked my head to the side and bit my neck, sucking hard on my flesh. I cried out as my cunt spasmed, the burst of pain cresting the pleasure and bringing me to climax. My body shuddered as the wave rolled through me, carrying me along. His fingers uncurled from my hair and his hands moved to my hips, gripping into my skin painfully. Metal teeth never released the side of my neck as his hands lifted my hips and pushed them down, making me thrust harder and faster than I had previously. I couldn't stop my euphoric moaning and the car filled with my sounds.

J lifted me up, holding me so that only the head of him remained inside. My cunt gripped him tightly, as if trying to pull him deeper. But he just held me there, waiting. I began to ache, my pussy desperate to be filled again. I wriggled my hips, trying to lower them and he chuckled against my neck, licking the skin before releasing his teeth. "Tell me what you want."

"More." I answered. But he didn't move. I shifted uncomfortably, the ache inside me burning relentlessly. " _Please_." I begged, lifting my head to look him in the eye. "Fuck me."

His hips pistoned up, burying his cock to the hilt. My head rolled back in ecstasy as he began to pound with fury. My juices squelched with each thrust. I cried out again as I came, my hands holding onto his shoulders to keep from falling.

"Good girl." He growled, his fingers gripping the flesh of my hips so tightly that I exclaimed in pain, "That's it, right like that."

"It hurts," I whimpered.

"Goooood," he purred, jackhammering his cock into me again and again before echoing his words from the shock therapy room, "Give in to it."

My fingers curled onto his shoulders, digging into his skin and he shuddered deliciously, a grunt of pleasure breaking from his throat. Knowing that he enjoyed the pain, I dug harder, my nails pressing into his skin. He slammed me down onto his lap, burying himself so deeply that I felt him pushing at my cervix. And then his head rolled back as his cock began to pulse, spraying his cum deep inside. My pussy clenched, milking him for all he had and he groaned loudly.

When he lifted his head to look at me, I kissed his lips softly. I think it took him by surprise. That's when I noticed that the Hummer had stopped and Jonny was gone. I slipped off of him, pulling on my skirt awkwardly as he fixed his pants. He knocked on the window and the door swung open, Jonny standing outside with his hand on the handle.

J climbed out first and I followed. We were in a massive white-walled garage, filled with gorgeous cars of all makes and models. I stared agog, knowing that millions of dollars surrounded me. He took my hand again, leading me to follow Jonny, who walked straight to a set of metal sliding doors, pressing a button in the wall. The doors opened and we stepped into an elevator that started ascending the second the doors closed.

"Where are we?" I asked Joker.

"Home." He said simply.

The ride was much shorter than it should have been, considering how many floors we travelled to the penthouse. The doors opened to reveal the most lavish living space I'd ever seen. I was instantly reminded of magazine pictures of the homes of royalty. We crossed the threshold and the two men began discussing business. I left them to explore the reaches of the penthouse.

After wandering through all the rooms, consistently amazed by the swanky décor, I found myself in an opulent office, where I sat down to write this entry. I don't want to forget a second of what has happened.

My life is just about to start.


	15. Chapter 15

In all honesty, I had to finish that last entry just now. J came into the office while I was writing. At first he seemed angry, but when he approached and read the last line I had written – _"My pussy clenched, milking him for all he had and he groaned loudly."_ – he chuckled. "What are you doing, little girl?"

"I didn't have my journal." I said softly, worried that he was upset I had taken his pen and paper.

He placed his hands on my shoulders, dipping them down below my shirt to cup my breasts and squeezing, "I'll have Jonny get it for you."

I leaned back in the chair, granting him easier access and looking up at him adoringly. Then he withdrew his hands and tucked them under my armpits, lifting me to my feet. He moved around the chair and took my hand in his, leading me from the room.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I gotta take a real shower. Get the stink of the asylum off me."

"… Ok?"

He brought me through the master bedroom, where I tried not to stare at the massive bed, and into a gorgeous bathroom. There was a huge Jacuzzi tub with dozens of nozzles, a golden toilet and bidet, a triple sink laid in marble, and a massive stand-alone shower that had multiple sprayers from all different angles. All the faucets were gold. The marble had gold streaks inlaid; even the tilework had a gold and black pattern.

"You really like gold…"

"Gold is for kings." He turned on the shower, a powerful spray shooting from all the different shower heads. Then he undressed and climbed inside, water cascading down his pale skin. I stood entranced, staring. "Haaaarleyyyy."

I lifted my eyes to his, unashamed of the way I had gawked at him. He smirked at me, running his hands through his green hair. "Strip." He ordered.

I took off my white coat, letting it drop to the floor, and started unbuttoning my red silk blouse. His eyes never strayed from my form as I moved. I pulled the bottom of the blouse out from the waistband of my skirt and finished undoing the buttons before letting the silk slide from my skin. I unzipped the skirt and it fell to a pile around my feet. Then I turned around, showing him my back as I reached up to unclasp the strap of my bra. It dropped to the ground and I pulled my hair from the ponytail at the base of my skull, letting it spill free about my shoulders. I slid down my underwear, wiggling my hips until it fell atop the skirt. My feet stepped out from my heels and I took off my glasses, folding the arms and placing them on the marble countertop. I turned around again, and he saw me naked for the first time.

"Beautiful," he murmured, curling a finger in a "come hither" gesture.

I crossed the marble tile floor, stepping into the shower but staying out of the spray. He grabbed my forearm and pulled me to him, pressing my body against his. Water sluiced over the both of us, drenching every inch. I giggled as the spray hit me.

"You know, _I_ actually showered this morning."

"I wanted to _see_ you." He growled, fingers curling into my hair and pulling my head back. " _All of you._ "

I sighed when he yanked on my hair, loving how rough he was being. He bit on my neck again, in nearly the exact same place, and my body shuddered in his hold. I felt his hand on my ass, squeezing my flesh fiercely. My cunt began to throb and a moan broke through my lips. He pushed me back against the wall, his mouth lifting from my neck to claim my lips. His hands slid over my body to lock onto my breasts, kneading roughly. I groaned again, my fingers traveling up his shoulders to bury in his hair, my thumbs where his sideburns would be if he'd had them. I felt him engorge against my leg, his member stiffening quickly.

"Mmmmm." I chuckled against his mouth. "Again?"

" _Again_." He growled and grabbed my right leg, hitching it up on his hip. Then he used his other hand to grip his girth and force it inside. I yelped as he snatched up my other leg onto his opposite hip, forcing himself in deeper. His fingers hooked into my hamstrings painfully, the majority of my weight on the very tips, making them dig in even more. He pressed his chest against mine and I hooked my feet at the ankles, my thighs gripping onto his hips as they began to rock. It was slower this time, but his thrusts were far more powerful than they had been previously. I broke away from his kiss to cry out when he hit my cervix. He made a sound that mixed a growl and purr and drove in harder. I yelped again, my fingers curling in his hair so tightly that he moaned. Over and over and over he pounded me, each time my voice crying out from pain. But the more he pummeled my most sensitive places, the better it started to feel. His body hit my clit with each thrust and I felt a familiar coiling deep within.

"Don't stop." I begged and he snickered at me. His right hand released my leg and came up to my throat, fingers pressing on my carotids, his hips never failing in their torturous barrage. An intense pressure filled my head, making me feel like my face was getting puffy. My lips, especially, felt particularly plump. He kissed my mouth tenderly and then sucked my lower lip between his teeth and bit down viciously. I shrieked, my cunt spasming around his cock as climax overtook me. He continued, pounding again and again until I felt my body would explode from pleasure. I never came down from the high, never stopped screaming in rapture. His teeth released when he started to laugh.

Finally he stilled, his fingers lifting from my throat to push my hair back. Then he lifted me off of him, stepping back and setting me on my feet. He moved back under the spray and started to wash like nothing had happened. My legs were trembling violently so I lowered myself to the floor before I fell. My thighs twitched relentlessly, shaking my lower limbs forcefully. I tried to still them, but couldn't so much as get them to slow. He watched me with a very satisfied smirk as he bathed.

I let my eyes drift closed, just feeling the way my legs quivered and relishing the warm glow in my pussy. _This is the best thing I've ever done._


	16. Chapter 16

He wanted to go out that night. "I've been trapped too long."

Jonny showed up in the early evening with things from my apartment. Clothes and shoes, makeup, my journal. I raised a brow when he came in with my stuff. "Just how easy is it to break into my apartment?"

He snickered, "You don't wanna know."

I frowned at that. _Always good to know I wasn't really safe at home._ But whatever. It's not like I'm going back there.

I noticed that my little prescription bottle of pills was missing after putting my things in the corner of J's massive walk-in closet. For a moment I considered tracking Jonny down and asking if he'd not seen them in the medicine cabinet. But then I thought back to the first time I'd met the Joker and his utter disdain for psychiatric meds. More than likely, Jonny had been ordered to leave them behind. Of course, they don't know how dangerous it can be to stop these kinds of medications cold turkey. Especially after prolonged use. For safety, you're supposed to slowly wean off of them – a process that can take months. _I'll just go back to the apartment on my own. Maybe tomorrow? The last thing I need is withdrawal symptoms._

After I did my makeup and put on my one little black dress, I pulled on a pair of red pumps. J gave me some of his jewelry – a couple rings, a chain, a cuff bracelet – all gold, of course. He wanted me to look like I belonged with him. And he certainly dressed to impress. If I was attracted to him at Arkham, it was nothing compared with the enticement I felt seeing him in his own clothes. Damn, he dresses well.

A perfectly tailored black pinstripe suit over a green shirt with a deep "V" that revealed his chest and hinted at the many tattoos on his torso. Layers of chains. Multiple rings, an expensive watch, and more chains at his wrists. Diamond studs in his ears. He was absolutely mouthwatering.

J brought me to the underground garage via elevator and went straight for the sexiest car he owned. A sleek purple little thing – a customized Infiniti G35 Vaydor that he'd dubbed the "Jokermobile."

"Get in." He said as he opened the driver's side door.

"I thought Jonny was your driver…"

"Nobody drives the Jokermobile but the Joker."

I had to smile at that as I climbed into the vehicle. The interior was pure white. He squealed out of the garage and I quickly clipped on my seatbelt, not used to traveling at such speeds. My fingers gripped onto the door handle, trying to keep myself steady as he took a corner wildly.

"We're gonna make a little pit stop." He cackled.

"Where are we going?" I tried to keep the unease I felt from my voice.

"I gotta pay a visit to some _friends_." He reached behind my seat, taking his eyes off the road and my stomach jumped into my throat. When he turned back he dropped a machine pistol into my lap. "They thought they could steal from me while I was locked away."

 _I've never even touched a gun before…_

I stared at him as he told me to roll down my window. My voice caught in my throat, "What … what do you want me to do?"

"You're going to kill them."

My eyes widened, "I don't know how to use this."

"Point. Squeeze the trigger. It does the rest." The car screeched around another corner and slowed to a halt. He grinned savagely and pointed to a group of people about halfway down the road, gathered on the sidewalk with liquor and cigarettes, "There they are. Get ready."

My hands shook as I picked up the gun. _They cheated my J. … They deserve to die._ I strengthened my resolve and pointed the muzzle out the window. He revved the engine and I saw some of the group look up the street. A few got to their feet, nudging their friends and pointing. J slammed on the gas and the tires squealed as the car shot forward. I squeezed the trigger, the gun jumping to life as bullets shot out repeatedly. J laughed maniacally as he sped past them, the pistol bouncing with each shot, and I saw bursts of blood exploding from different bodies.

When we'd passed them I released the trigger, feeling a high I didn't expect. It was a lot more fun firing a gun than I'd thought it would be. The car sped around a corner, then another, and another until we were back on the same street. He didn't even have to tell me what he wanted. I held the gun out the window and started shooting again as we passed by the group, making sure I got any survivors.

I pulled the gun back into the car and tossed it behind my seat. With shining eyes and a huge smile, I looked over at him as he drove, "That was fun."

He cackled and pressed down the accelerator, making the vehicle jump when he shifted gears. Before long we were in front of the Smile and Grin. He parked in the one RESERVED space and we both climbed out. J took my wrist and pulled me toward the club, ignoring the bouncers who nodded at us as we passed. Once inside he went straight for a cordoned off VIP area that was curtained with thin strings of gold beads where Jonny was waiting.

"Everything taken care of?" the bearded man stood when we approached.

J stood me in front of him, putting his hands on my upper arms and crowed, "She performed beautifully."

 _Was that a test?_ I wondered as J pushed me toward the curved cushioned booth and I sat down.

He sat next to me and told Jonny to get us something to drink. The man left and returned before a minute had passed with an empty flute and a bottle of champagne for me and a tumbler of amber colored liquid for J. Joker took the tumbler and Jonny set down the flute, popping the cork off the bottle and letting the foam drip onto the floor. Then he filled my glass and handed it to me.

"Thanks, Jonny." I sipped the bubbles, crinkling my nose when the spray tickled it.

J took a swallow from his glass and put it on the table in front of us. As he sat back, those crystal blue eyes scanned the crowd.

"It's good to have you back, boss." Jonny sat down again.

J stared at him with a grin, "You miss me, Jonny-boy?"

He nodded. "I don't like being in charge."

"Well you kept things running. I know I can always count on you."

I tipped the flute, a larger mouthful of champagne dancing over my tongue. When I swirled the half empty glass in front of me Jonny filled it again. It continued in that vein – I would drink a good portion from the flute, but never finish it, and he would fill it again. Finally I put the glass down, feeling a buzz from the alcohol. J picked it up, held it in Jonny's direction for him to refill it, then gave it back to me.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?"

He grinned at me, his teeth glinting in the lights, "It's only fair."

I raised a brow but didn't take the bubbly, "And that's fair _how_?"

"My men have seen you drunk. Now it's my turn."

My head swiveled to glare at Jonny, "Just how much does he know about the last time I was here?"

He shrugged with a smirk. "Everything."

J leaned over to growl quietly, "Who's _Joey_?"

My face flushed a deep red and I snatched the flute, spilling champagne on my dress and bringing it to my lips to tip it back so I wouldn't have to speak. I drained the whole thing to buy time, but my brain was already starting to get fuzzy from drinking, and I couldn't think of a smart aleck response. Joker took the glass from my fingers and handed it to Jonny. Then he gripped my chin between forefinger and thumb. "I asked you a question."

I couldn't break his gaze and I felt my heart start to pound. _God, he_ _ **does**_ _things to me._ "No one."

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah." His fingers squeezed on my chin. "Do not lie to me, my little harlequin."

I glanced at Jonny and J pinched tighter, shaking my jaw a little. "Don't look at him. _I'm_ the one asking."

My eyes flicked back and forth between his, "I just didn't want him to think I was available."

" _Why_?"

I swallowed. "Because I had already given my heart to you."

He released me then, sitting back with a laugh. Jonny held out the refilled champagne and I took it, drinking the majority of the flute's contents in one swallow. Why was it so embarrassing to admit that?

Jonny filled the glass again and J spread his arms wide, "Harley girl, you can do anything you want. Just say the word and it's yours."

I looked away from the men, trying to slow the pounding of my heart. My eyes skimmed over the crowd, settling on the gyrating form of one of the strippers. I watched her for a moment, sipping my drink. I didn't notice J sliding close to me until he was right at my side, his mouth by my ear, his eyes on the same girl.

"You wanna take her home?" he purred.

I jumped at his nearness, shaking my head in embarrassment. I'd never been with a woman. Never thought I wanted to. But now that it's an option …

I stood up suddenly, wavering on my feet from the alcohol's effects. Then I walked around the table, away from Joker.

"Where you goin'?" he demanded.

I spun, barely catching myself, and stared down at him before answering sassily, "Dancin'."

I moved away from the VIP area and into the crowd of people. My hips began to sway in time with the music and I tried to forget everything but what it was I wanted at that moment. I let go of my inhibitions, aided by the more than half a bottle of champagne in my stomach, and slid my hands down my body. My hair tossed over my shoulders and I felt someone sidle up behind me. I buried my fingers in my hair and ground my ass on his crotch – it was definitely a man. A hand slid over my hip and splayed on my stomach, pulling me tighter against him. I leaned my back against his chest and tilted my head up to smile at the stranger.

 _I can do whatever the fuck I want._

I turned around and pressed my body against his, feeling his hands gently grip my ass. We danced like that a while, my arms eventually winding around his neck. And then I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him.

 _Make out with a stranger – cross that off the bucket list._

When the song ended I pulled away and grinned up at him. He ran his fingers through my hair, "You wanna get out of here?"

I shook my head and he stepped closer, putting his hands on my waist, "Come on, baby."

I giggled and pointed in the direction of the VIP area without turning to look myself, "I'm with _him_."

The man's gaze followed my finger and then his face turned white, his eyes widening in fear. He stumbled backward and ran straight out of the club. I nearly doubled over in laughter.

I refused to look at him as I walked deeper into the crowd. _This is about what_ _ **I**_ _want._ Once again I lost myself in the music, dancing between people while watching the girl in a glass box a few feet from me. She moved so fluidly, never pausing in her gyrations. My head tilted to the side, my eyes raking her form. _I wonder what pussy tastes like…_

That shook me out of my stupor and I turned away from the box, though I never stopped the swaying of my hips. I caught a pretty young woman quickly averting her gaze and watched her until she glanced at me again, snapping her eyes away when she realized I was looking at her. _How flattering._ I started to match her movements and when she looked my way again I curled one finger, calling her over.

I saw her swallow nervously, but she crossed the floor in my direction. When she got close enough I caught hold of a wrist and pulled her close. "Dance with me."

She nodded, a small smile curving her features. I couldn't stop the words in my mouth, "God, you're beautiful."

She flushed and it brought such a pretty color to her face. I felt a flash of desire and wound my left arm around her lower back, pulling her into me, our hips swaying in time together. My right hand tucked a lock of hair around her ear, trailing down her jaw to lift her chin until her eyes were locked on mine. "Do you want to kiss me?"

Her body stiffened, but I kept us moving. The poor girl looked terrified. "I … I'm not … not supposed to want–"

"Oh, _baby_." I broke in softly before smiling seductively. "You can do _anything you want_."

And then I kissed her. Her fear only made it better. I slid my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her closer. She melted into me and I marveled at how soft she was, parting my lips and drawing her tongue into my mouth. My entire body buzzed euphorically.

Her hands slid around my back and I knew then I wanted her. I broke the kiss and stared into her eyes. "Let's go find somewhere private."

She pulled away, shaking her head violently. _Shit, I scared her._

She turned to walk away but I caught her arm, "Wait. I'm sorry, come back."

But she broke my grip and headed straight for the exit. I moved to follow, but I could feel his stare boring into me. I paused and couldn't stop myself from looking in his direction.

My heart froze when I saw the way he was staring at me. I had seen that look before, when I'd thrown myself off his lap. Lust and ownership and hunger. He curled one finger like I just had, beckoning me to him.

 _If I go over there, he's going to fuck me in this club._

I looked to the door that led out and looked back at him. Hairless brows were raised in warning. I've never disobeyed him.

 _I can do anything I want? Let's see how far that goes._ I felt emboldened by the champagne.

I walked through the people, acting like I was taking the same route back to the VIP section as I had when I'd gone to dance. But when I should have turned left, I beelined straight and through the exit doors.

Out in the fresh air the world seemed impossibly quiet. I looked up and down the street, wondering where the girl had gone. _I didn't even get her name._

"Hey, did you see a pretty little brunette come out here?" I asked one of the bouncers.

He nodded and pointed up the street, "Yeah, she took a taxi that way."

 _Damnit. I lost her._

I started up the street, as if I could somehow catch a taxi I couldn't even see, and I heard the door open behind me. A smile overtook my lips because I knew who it was. And when a hand grabbed my arm, yanking me backwards until I slammed into the building, I laughed. I was definitely still feeling all the alcohol in my system.

Fingers curled around my throat and I groaned with desire. His voice was dangerously low, "Where are you going, Harley?"

I smirked at him, " _Wherever I want_."

I felt him pressing on my carotids, his other hand knicking under the hem of my dress and into my panties. He found me to be already wet and easily slipped a finger inside, "You wanna go find your little friend?"

His finger danced in and out before curling to press on my g-spot, flicking against it expertly. I moaned loudly and shook my head. The bouncers didn't even so much as glance our way.

"I can't _hear you_."

"No." I gasped, feeling an orgasm building.

"No?" He kissed my lips, my head pulsing from lack of oxygen. "Where do you want to go, then?"

I shuddered and gasped again, my hips rocking on his hand. My fingers curled around the lapels of his jacket as I strained for release. The hand on my throat shifted, lifting off my arteries and pressing on my windpipe and his finger stilled. I cried out in frustration.

"I asked you a question."

My hands slid up to his shoulders, fingers interlocking behind his neck. "Take me home," I begged.

He smirked and lowered his hand from my throat to grasp my breast. His finger pushed on my g-spot again as he crushed my mouth with his, "You wanna go home?"

" _Yes_." I whimpered, wriggling my hips. He didn't move his finger, just left it pressing hard and I was desperate for climax. " _Please_. I need you to fuck me."

He withdrew from me then, stepping back completely. I whimpered again, feeling empty at the lack of his touch. He chuckled. "Come on, baby."

He brought me to the car and we were back at the penthouse in minutes. Once inside, he literally ripped my dress off of me and threw me over his shoulder, slapping my ass savagely. I shrieked at the pain and he cackled in joy.

He threw me on his huge bed and stripped off his clothes. I wriggled out of my panties and pulled off my bra. I went to take off my shoes, but he stopped me, crawling onto the bed and between my legs. "Leave them on."

He thrust into me, his hands clasping around my throat and I sighed happily. His fingers tightened as he began to pound, each thrust filling me with bliss. I wrapped my legs around him, tilting my pussy so he could push deeper.

"Put your arms around me, Pumpkin, I want you to hurt me." He growled and I wound my arms about his ribs, digging my nails into his back and raking them down his skin. He groaned loud, his head rocking back.

He leaned down over me, letting go of my throat and sliding his arms under me, his hands grabbing onto my shoulders. He held me firm, hammering into me repeatedly. I lost count of how many times I came.

He roared his climax and collapsed on top of me. I fell limp, every fiber of my being suffused with afterglow. Eventually he rolled to the side, one leg draped over both of mine, his arm resting on my torso with his hand around my throat. He bit my cheek gently and I giggled.

"Mine." He whispered.

I turned my head to kiss him, "Always."

And that's how we slept – curled up in each other.


	17. Chapter 17

I enjoyed reading your diary, little girl. It made me want to write my own entry.

The stay at Arkham was amusing... at first. I could recover from my attack without further interruption by a certain costumed freak. It wore thin VERY quickly and I'd already begun working on escaping when you came through those doors. It was perfect. You were so...

 _I've been trapped too long. Kill her now._

You were supposed to die that day. A means to an end and the joke would have been on you which would have been delicious. However the way you stabbed that bitch Alera _slicing flesh screaming he he he he he where's my knife?_ And you wanted it. You wanted more... It made me want you more. _Kill her._ I saw something that day. _Trapped too long_. Perhaps you too had been trapped too long. We shall see... I could make you smile yet.

I'm glad Jonny went to get your things and it pleased me to see you become upset with the ease in which he broke in to your place. _Do you think you are safe?_ Safest place in Gotham is by my side. _Unless I kill her._ I could show you how to never be afraid again. To be free to do what you wanted. And now that I was free, people needed to know it, so we got ready to go out. Let no one mistake who rules this town, and who is by his side. The way you looked at me made my blood boil, my Harley girl. If you think this looks good, wait'll you see my car. _He he he he he._

Nobody drives the Jokermobile but the Joker. Damn right. Which means I had a job for you, babygirl. I hoped very much you wouldn't disappoint me. _Kill her now._ I drove fast to make you squeal. To see your fingers digging into the leather as I rounded turns, your adrenaline rising. Good, it'll make it easier for you.

"I gotta pay a visit to some _friends_." and I handed you the gun. What what what will you do? They stole from me so they are going to die. "You're going to kill them."

Your eyes went as wide as a virgin's and my cock began to harden. "I don't know how to use this."

Thinking of you unleashing my unholy fury on my enemies filled me with desire. I thought of bending you over the seat and tearing that little black dress off of you, aiming my cock right at your little kitty. "Point. Squeeze the trigger. It does the rest." The sound of gunshots went off in perfect time to the fucking in my head and I howled with glee as I sped the car around over and over until no one was left standing. You did such a good job, my Harley girl.

"That was fun." you said. You're perfect. The way you make me feel is different from anything. I hate it. _Kill her._ I will kill anyone who takes you away from me.

We entered the Smile and Grin. All eyes went to us. Who the fuck is with the Joker? When did he get out? Where's Batma... _Who the fuck said that?_ Tall, cheap suit, cheap haircut. I'll kill him later. Now where was I, Pumpkin? Ah yes, the VIP room, where I could show Jonny what a good girl you had been. Give you a taste of something different, something new, yet again. Seeing you drink the champagne. You give the slightest shudder of pleasure with every mouthful, and although I'm talking to Jonny, my focus is solely on you. It makes me want to grab you by the hair and smash your face against the mirror. _Yes, Kill her._ You understand it's all the same don't you? The shards of glass embedded in your beautiful face and the bubbles tickling your tongue...

It took even me by surprise. Taking the Asylum would be easy and there would be no survivors. And then there you were. So sweet. So... EAGER. _He he he he_ Like the first time I took you. I knew we would fuck, but the way you looked at me when my cock entered you and my fingers closed around your throat... _yes, squeeeeeeeze_ I told you to cum and you _obeyed_. No one else has done that before. I began to experience doubt for the first time since...

I want you to be mine. I want you to be free. Pain is pleasure. Pleasure is pain. At the VIP club getting you drunk. Watching you. Making you squirm. Making you talk. Telling me you'd given me your heart. I laughed so very hard. It's the best joke you see? I want you to be mine, always. I want to cause you pain. I will personally kill anyone who gets in the way of my Harley Quinn. So be free Harley girl. You can do whatever you want. You just have to ask and it's yours.

We'd barely even started before you got up to go dancing. I watched you walk your way to the dance floor. My mind whirled. I needed to focus. _Kill her_ "Jonny, I need a gun." It was my favorite - my purple and gold Colt Gold Cup Trophy and I aimed it straight at you. "Now tell me about the Bat." Games always make me think clearer. I was able to focus on your dancing while Jonny filled me in. Watching you becoming you through the sight of my gun. I laughed when that boy was grinding on you. He would piss himself if I went over there with the smallest of my knives. _Whore. Kill her!_ I want you murderously. When he looked over and saw me pointing the gun I howled. Funny enough to put the Colt away. And the way you laughed at him. You keep doing so well. Making me burn with lust seeing you with that girl on the dance floor. I enjoy when you surprise me, Pumpkin. Now come over here so I can fuck you.

And then you walked away from me. _Fucking kill her! I HATE when you surprise me, Pumpkin._ I left Jonny there without a word. Didn't have to say anything. Reliable Jonny. This is about you now. Chased you all the way outside. Shame I didn't find you with the girl. That would've been fun. I caught you around the arm and slammed you against the wall and gave you my best grin. _Now we can kill her._ And then you laughed at the pain. _What a good little girl._ I wrapped my hand around your throat. "Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. Mother Theresa said that." _he he he he_ "That's funny," and I squeezed a little harder so you would hear the threat behind my words. "Where ya goin, Haaaarley?"

" _Wherever I want_." I could see in your eyes that you meant it, and you said it to me so I would hurt you for it and make you cum. And I was still so angry that you had disobeyed me. _Don't you know who's in control?_ I used my fingers to remind you of your place. Five around your throat. One in that sweet little cunt. _You are mine to do with as I please._ I made you forget about that bitch. I made you beg me to take you home and fuck you. So I did. We fucked and came, whipped and scratched one another until exhaustion and for one brief second it was all clear in my head _Mine_ before it shattered into a million pieces.

Gotta talk to Jonny again. Joker's back. There's business. And there's you. I can't wait to show you my toys. _he he he he he_

 _._

 _{[Author's Note: You can thank my husband for this chapter. He wrote the Joker's POV (with VERY minimal input from me) and also comes up with a lot of what J does in my other entries.]}_


	18. Chapter 18

_HOLY SHIT_. I never expected …

Actually seeing inside his mind … it's incredible. _He wrote in my journal._ The safest place in Gotham is by his side. It doesn't matter that the voices in his head tell him to kill me. I trust him. And if one day he does kill me … at least I've actually had some happiness if my life. Anything good I've gotten from him. He could end my life and he still would have been the best thing that ever happened to me.

I'd do anything he wanted

.

I woke up this morning feeling much better than I expected. I was so excited about not having a hangover that I pulled out my journal and wrote down everything that happened last night. If I waited I ran the risk of forgetting something and I want to be able to remember that forever.

J came in as I was finishing. He must have snagged my journal when he picked me up off the bed and brought me to the dining room, where he sat me down in front of a huge plate of waffles. Then he sat at the head of the table and picked up a fork, "Eat with me."

I giggled and started to eat. He told me that I had been given a shot while I was sleeping – vitamins or some shit – which was the reason for my lack of hangover. _Who cares what it was, I feel awesome._ Then he said he would be busy all day. I wanted to go with him, but he wouldn't hear of it. "You have your own plans." He told me.

"What plans?"

"You're going to play with my toys."

I gave him a look. "You want me to play."

He grinned, popping a bite of sausage into his mouth. "Jonny will take you out there while I'm working."

"I'd rather spend my day with you."

"Well, you don't have much choice in the matter." It didn't matter which route I tried, there was no changing his mind. And I tried at least thirty.

Finally I crossed my arms and frowned. He snickered, which only made me more infuriated. "You know, you're adorable when you're pouting, baby girl."

I glared at him but he just laughed and drained the last of his coffee before getting to his feet. He stepped next to me and bent down to kiss my forehead, then slid his fingers around my throat, squeezing. My traitorous pussy reacted instantly but I bit back the gasp. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing what he does to me. However, I couldn't stop my eyelids from drifting closed at his touch and I felt his breathy laughter on my skin.

"I'll see you later, Pumpkin Pie." Then he kissed my lips and walked away.

 _Goddamnit now I'm horny and he's fucking_ _ **leaving**_ _._

I snatched up a spoon, turned and whipped it at him. " _Bastard_."

He just laughed when it his back, but kept walking. I heard the ding of the elevator and scowled. Then he was gone. I finished what I wanted of the waffles and showered, threw on some casual clothes and wandered the penthouse until I found Jonny sitting in the kitchen reading a newspaper.

"Mornin', Harley."

"Jonny."

"You ready?"

"Can you at least tell me where we're going?"

"The Toybox."

I paused, waiting for more information, but he said nothing else. "Thank you so much for being so forthcoming."

He snickered and tossed the paper onto the island. "There's no real describing it. You've just got to see it for yourself."

"Can we swing by my apartment on our way?"

He got to his feet and slipped his hands into the pockets of his suit pants, "Why?"

"Just a couple things that you forgot."

"Like what?"

"My jewelry box. I kept it hidden in case of a break in. Which is kind of funny if you think about it. … And my pair of backup glasses." It's not technically lying if you don't disclose everything, right?

"Yeah, alright."

So we took the elevator down to the underground floor and I asked that we take the cute little red thing I'd seen my first time in the garage. Jonny got keys from this giant box on the wall (how he could tell the keys apart is beyond me) and we got in the car. I'll have to remember to ask J for the exact make and model.

Jonny drove up onto the streets and started through Gotham. From the high end neighborhood that housed the penthouse down to my block in the stretch of town that was maybe two steps above being classified the "ghetto." He followed me up to my apartment and into the bedroom, leaning on the doorjamb when I went to the closet. After opening the door I dropped to my knees and moved the stack of sheets off the top of a small wooden box. I popped the top off and looked through my meager collection of chains and earrings before sliding the top back on and getting to my feet. Closing the door firmly, I went to leave the room and Jonny stepped out of the way to let me pass into the living room. I turned left and slipped into the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet and letting my eyes scan over the smattering of generic pill bottles. The space that usually held my prescription was bare. Jonny slowly strolled to the doorway of the bathroom and once again leaned on the jamb, this time with his arms crossed.

"What are you looking for, Harley?"

I grabbed the small rectangular shipping box off the top shelf and opened the side, tipping it so a pair of glasses slid partway out. I turned toward him to show what I was holding. "Just my glasses."

As I was putting them back and closing the box, he stepped into the room and swung the mirror completely open, looking into the medicine cabinet, " _Just_ your glasses? Not looking for anything else?"

"Of course not." I lied. _Where the hell are my pills?_

He frowned. "You sure? You're not trying to find your prescription?"

I started, the surprise on my face inevitably giving away what we were really doing there. He nodded and closed the mirror, "Yeah, that's why I thought we were here."

"It's dangerous to just stop these kinds of medications. I need to wean off them-"

"You know what he thinks about that."

"But he doesn't know-"

"He knows what he needs to know."

"Jonny …"

"They're gone, Harley. I tossed them on my way back yesterday."

"So let me go to the pharmacy. They have my prescription on file and they can-"

"No."

"Jonny, _please_. You don't understand."

"I understand, Harley. But he's never gonna go for it. Trust me, it's better to do what he wants."

"The withdrawal from these drugs-"

"Just drop it!" he snapped. "There is nothing either one of us can do here, ok? … Can we just go?"

I huffed, but I knew he wasn't being obstinate for his own sake. Jonny followed orders, plain and simple. He was one of the only people, if not theonly person that Joker trusted. He respected his boss and had supported him in all kinds of crazy schemes. No matter what Jonny felt about it, he did as he was told. So being angry with him wasn't going to get me anywhere. I'd just have to confront J about it later. _That is **not** going to be a fun conversation…_

"Yeah, fine. Let's go."

This time I followed him as we left the apartment and went down to the red convertible. He drove us back towards the penthouse, crossing the same streets we had just a short while before. Once we passed the high rise it took about twenty minutes in the weekend traffic to get to the outskirts of the city. We pulled up in front of this huge cement building. It looked abandoned. Jonny carefully drove around the back and took a sharp turn so that we were heading straight for the building. There was a steep decline and we were on a corkscrew road underground. The car took the tight circles easily, but it seemed like it would never stop going. Finally the road opened to a small parking area with a thick metal door.

Jonny parked the car and I followed him to the door, where he looked up into the security camera before knocking a specific rhythm and it soon opened. Inside were men with rifles hanging around their necks milling around. One man sat in front of the screen displaying a high quality image of the area outside the door. The solid metal door closed behind us and this guy turned a wheel in the center, sliding out two massive bars that locked into the walls. There was no way in or out without the doorman's say so.

I followed Jonny further inside and the space opened to reveal a long cement hallway dotted with doors. He opened the first one on the right and we walked inside. It was a massive room, the walls completely covered with every kind of gun you could imagine. I didn't even know there were this many kinds of guns to begin with.

"What is this, a dungeon?"

"No, that's back at the high rise."

" _What_?"

"J hasn't shown you yet? Ah, I'm sure he will. It's only a half dozen floors below the penthouse."

 _What in the hell even is this conversation?_

"There's a _dungeon_. Below the _penthouse_." I couldn't wrap my head around that. _Then what the hell was this place?_

"Yeah, doc. A genuine sex dungeon."

"A se-" I cut off, my cheeks flushing bright red, "Oh, god."

Jonny snickered and shook his head then gestured to the mannequins that littered the floor of the room. "You gonna get started or what?"

"What are we doing here? What is this place? And what are in those other rooms?"

"This is where J takes people to get information … or just to have fun with them. You want a tour?"

I nodded and followed Jonny through all the rooms. The first on the left was full of blades – daggers, swords, knives, fucking ice picks. One room had legitimate medieval torture devices. Another had lines of car batteries, jumper cables, a sort of dentist chair with straps for limbs, tools like wrenches and pliers and hammers. Another had whips and chains, a cat o' nine tails, ropes. And that wasn't all of the rooms. Finally I looked to Jonny.

"So why am I here again?"

"To play. We set up the dummies cuz J figured you'd wanna use the guns first."

The shift in my mood was immediate, "I get to shoot stuff?"

Jonny laughed, "What else did you think he meant?"

"He said I was gonna play with toys. What was I supposed to think?"

"What, like Barbie or some shit?" Jonny couldn't stop laughing.

"You breathe a word about this and I will cut off your balls."

He just shook his head and wiped at his eyes, "Come on, Harley."

We went back to that first room and I picked up a semi automatic rifle. And I _played_. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time. I wasn't too bad of a shot either. Not amazing, but I could probably hold my own if I ever needed to. I went through all different kinds of weapons. Jonny was a great teacher. A lot more patient than I would have expected. When I didn't want to leave for food, he sent one of the guys out for pizza. We ate in the Toybox and I went back to shooting. Jonny said I could try out anything in any of the rooms – J had a few enemies stashed in another part of the Toybox that he would bring out if I wanted to use the Iron Maiden or thumbscrews or the tongue tearer. I stuck with guns and mannequins.

We didn't leave the Toybox until after 6. There was more traffic on the way back to the penthouse, so we got back a little before 7. Jonny told me J was due back at 8, so I left him in the TV room and went to take a long soak in the Jacuzzi tub. I couldn't find my journal, which, of course, now I know why. So I recorded this entry in my phone while I bathed so I could write it out when I found the little book.


	19. Chapter 19

J walked into the bathroom shortly after 8 with a joint hanging from his lips. He inhaled before taking it in his fingers and telling me that Jonny was setting up sushi, clouds of smoke billowing from his mouth as he talked. He sat down on the side of the tub and stuck the cigarette in my mouth. I took a long drag, but wasn't really expecting much. My dormmate in college smoked. She let me try a couple times but it never really did anything to me.

I wasn't expecting such a … green flavor. _I'm tasting colors now?_ There's no other way of describing it though. Very green. The stuff in college tasted more like dirt.

J turned off the Jacuzzi and I popped the plug so the water would drain. I stepped out and wrapped myself in a huge fluffy towel. He put the joint back between my lips and I inhaled again.

"I got you somethin'." He grinned. My eyes lit up and he chuckled, "It's on the bed. Put it on and meet me for dinner."

He took the weed and walked out, popping the cigarette in his mouth again. I dried off quickly, thankful I'd wound my hair up in a bun so it wasn't wet. My head felt a little cloudy as I walked into the bedroom, where I found a gorgeous red corset with black trim and a matching low rise red bikini-style panty with black ruffles and a little black bow.

"Well it's a good thing he's not taking me _out_ for dinner." I giggled to myself. Just when I was wondering how I was supposed to tie myself into a corset I found a zipper down one side. It was actually really easy to slide into. I went back into the bathroom once it was on to see what I looked like. _Holy shit … is that_ _ **me**_ _?!_

I looked hot. And I felt sexy. I pulled my hair loose of the bun and brushed through the strands until they hung like golden silk down my back. With quick strokes I applied some black eyeliner and mascara, a few flicks of a peachy blush, and a bright red lipstick. Then I was back in the bedroom where I pulled on my red heels from last night.

The dining room table was completely covered with platters of different kinds of sushi and bottles of wine. J was sitting back in his chair, feet crossed on the table, puffing on the joint and watching the smoke curl and billow. I put my left hand up on the doorjamb and leaned against it, my legs crossed at the ankles.

"You know, I think I've had maybe five kinds out of what you have here. It will be fun trying out new things."

His eyes snapped to me when I'd started speaking, raking over my body as I talked. " _You_ look good enough to eat."

I smirked and entered the room, walking down the length of the table as he swung his legs to the floor. I snagged the joint from his fingers and took a drag as he pulled me onto his lap, "Well then, I guess I'll just have to be dessert."

His hands explored my body as I puffed, feeling the cloudiness extending through my torso and trickling into my limbs. _This shit is good._

I slipped from his hold, taking the joint in my fingers and slowly exhaling as I sat in the chair to his right, where I had been that morning. "I don't know about you, but I'm starved."

"Famished," he replied. But the look in his eye told me he wasn't talking about food.

I refused to meet his gaze or even look in his direction and sucked on the joint one last time before putting the roach in the golden ashtray between us. "Do you always get enough to feed an army? The table was just as covered this morning and we barely touched it."

He shrugged, "I like options."

I took a long look down the length of the table. "That's a lot of options."

Rasping sounded and when I looked back at him he had another joint between his lips, a lit zippo in front of it. "How was your day, Pumpkin?"

A huge smile took over my features. "I had so much fun."

"I knew you would." He got to his feet and rounded the corner separating us, putting the joint in my mouth. "Now we're gonna play a game."

"What kind of game?" I inhaled and took the joint with my right hand. He took my left and placed it on the arm of the chair, pulling a small length of black silk rope from his pocket and deftly winding it around my arm and the chair before tying it tight. "What are you doing?"

He walked around the back of the chair and plucked the joint from my fingers, placing the burning end in the ashtray. Then he took my right arm and tied it like the other. "It's a game about trust."

"Trust?"

"You're gonna trust me to be your hands. And I'm gonna trust that you'll do everything that you're told."

I looked down at the ropes, feeling a nice buzzing high and then smirked up at him. "When _are_ you going to take me downstairs?"

One hairless brow lifted and he sat on the edge of the table. He picked up the cigarette and took a deep drag. "Just what do you know about downstairs?"

"Jonny told me that there's a dungeon a few floors below us."

He grinned wickedly and put the weed to my mouth. I inhaled as he said, "You wanna see my Playroom."

I nodded and sucked the smoke deeper into my lungs. He put it back in his mouth and pulled a cell phone from his jacket pocket, tapping on the screen. "That can be arranged."

An anticipatory twinge hit between my legs and I shifted slightly in the chair. He put the phone back and sucked on the cigarette. "They'll need some time to clear everyone out. There will be some complaints, but they'll all be well compensated for the inconvenience. So … with some time to kill … how about we go back to my game?"

He pulled together a plate of sushi and lined up a selection of wine bottles. Then he proceeded to hand feed me. A bite of sashimi, a mouthful of wine that played with the flavors nicely. Nigiri, a different wine, more pot. He named all the different types as they entered my mouth, always careful not to spill a drop of alcohol, even though he tipped straight from the bottles to my lips. After every few bites he fed me, he'd pop a piece of sushi in his mouth and chew, but he never touched the wine. He did smoke like a chimney, though. I think we went through at least two more joints.

I was feeling very … floaty. Almost disconnected from reality. He held the pot to my lips and I shook my head. _I'm so fucking high._ Though I turned my head away, the joint followed and I knew he was determined I smoke more. "I can't take any more."

His palm cracked across my cheek and he grabbed my throat, squeezing harshly. I shuddered as the pain washed over me, traveling lower and coiling in my cunt. _Fuck, that felt_ _ **good**_ _._

"I'm _trusting_ you, Harley." He growled, pulling me forward so that my face was mere inches from his. "You have to _play_ your part, or the game is over."

I just want to please him. I nodded and he shoved me backward as he released my neck. He held the joint to my lips again and I inhaled obediently. We went through a few more rounds of sushi, booze, pot before his phone chimed and he pulled it from his pocket, barely glancing at it before putting it away again.

He picked up a knife from the table and quickly cut through the ropes that bound me. "It's time to show you the Playroom."

He helped me to my feet and I could barely stand upright. The floor seemed to tilt drastically beneath me and I had to cling to him just to make it a few steps. " _Fuck_ , I'm _wasted_."

"That's just going to make it feel so much _better_." He slid my arm around his neck and picked me up easily, bringing me to a different elevator. Inside he pressed the button for floor 69.

I snorted and began to cackle madly, "Oh my god, you are so _infantile_. You really are just a fuckin' child, aren't you?"

He laughed as the doors closed and kissed me. By the time they opened again my panties were wet and my fingers were buried in his hair. He walked through a black waiting room and through one of the doors, heading straight for the second to last door on the left of a long hall. The door slammed behind us and I saw a glimpse of red as he moved into the room. He pushed me against something hard and set me on my feet. When he pulled away and bent to move my ankle, I was able to look around the room. It was a deep blood red – all four walls, the ceiling, the floor. There were drawers built into the walls, housing who knows what, with whips and ticklers and paddles hanging above them. A fur lined cuff wrapped my ankle and he buckled it tightly. He moved to my other ankle and I let my eyes roam over all the leather and metal on the walls. _This has to be every kind of BDSM product ever made…_

He straightened and took one of my arms, lifting it above my head and to the side. Another cuff wound around my wrist. "The Playroom takes up this entire floor. Each room has a theme. But this one is my favorite."

"Mmmm. Maybe one day we can try all the different rooms."

He chuckled and moved to my other arm. When he was finished binding me, he stepped back from the Saint Andrews Cross and went to open the top of one of the sets of drawers. I noticed a wheeled black table to my right. He came back with a silk scarf and a tiny silver remote. It clicked and two panels in the wall to my left dropped inward before sliding apart. The majority of the wall was actually a giant screen.

"We offer all varieties of porn to suit our clients' tastes." His mouth curved into a wide grin. "But they don't know about the cameras in all the rooms. … At least not until they're hand delivered a copy of the hottest new porno – starring them." He clicked another button and the room we were in came on the screen, but instead of us were an older man and a very young blonde.

"Is that … Judge Hacker?"

He nodded, a low noise rumbling from his throat. The remote clicked again in rapid succession, each time a new set of two or sometimes three people in the same room, always in compromising positions. "Judges, police, prosecutors, bank ceos, the head of the Gotham post office, shop owners, teachers, fire chief, doctors, nurses, employees at _Wayne Enterprises_ …"

From the way he said the name, I knew there was something important about that last one. "No wonder you own this city."

He turned, his eyes leaving the screen to stare into mine, "Oh, I do, baby. I am Gotham's King. … Half of these people don't even know about these tapes. If they're lucky, they never will. But … once they have use to me, they get their very own copy. And I get my way."

I felt pride. And really fucking high. He clicked the remote one last time and it switched to professional porn. Gangbangs. Featuring choking. So many men lavishing on one girl. I felt a flood between my lower lips.

He tossed the remote on the little table and moved to the side of the cross, reaching behind it and pulling on something. I heard a thunk and then began to tilt backwards. It freaked the fuck out of me and I shrieked. J just laughed and tilted the cross until it was completely horizontal. With no support, I let my head hang freely, my hair brushing against the bright red floor. The thunk sounded again and when he stepped away the cross didn't move.

From the same top drawer he'd previously opened he got a pair of scissors. I felt cold metal slide under one side of the panties.

"No, wait!" I cried, but I felt the scissors snip. "Damnit, I really liked those."

"I'll buy you another pair." The scissors slid under the other side and snipped again and he pulled the ruined fabric off of me, tossing it to the floor.

My eyes never left the screen in the wall as his fingers played over my pussy lips, massaging and occasionally pinching. I squirmed and he pressed one finger against my clit, rolling the little bud in tiny circles. My breath came in little gasps and he switched his finger for his tongue. A low moan spilled from my lips as he licked and sucked and nibbled. I know I came at least three times before he moved away.

When he came back I heard a click and strong vibration. He spread my cunt lips with one hand and pressed something against my clit. I've never had a vibrator, so this was a completely new sensation. I came in seconds. But he didn't move it away. I found myself cresting and falling repeatedly, gushing my climax each time. Finally it clicked off and I heard it clatter onto the table.

He undressed and I shivered from phantom vibrations. That same thunk sounded again and he tilted the cross more until I was completely upside down. My glasses fell with a clatter to the floor. I felt his hands trail up my legs until they grabbed onto my inner thighs and squeezed. I shivered and he stepped closer, bending his knees so that his erect member pressed against my lips. My mouth opened and I sucked him inside, my tongue swirling around him. Then I felt his tongue swipe over my pussy and I groaned.

The blood rushed to my head as we continued. He started thrusting into my mouth, matching each one with a thrust of his tongue into my pussy. My moaning became one long continuous sound that muffled every time his cock hit the back of my throat. After five hits I gagged and he pulled back slightly, but didn't stop fucking my mouth. The girl on the video screamed and I heard the crack of someone hitting her and I came. He lapped at the fluid and finally moved away. I gasped repeatedly, trying to regulate my breathing.

Another thunk and he flipped me upright, locking the mechanism again. I turned my head to watch the video, but he wound the silk scarf around my eyes from behind me, tying it tight against the back of my head. I could hear him gathering things. Opening drawers, taking things off the walls. Each item was placed on the little table before it was wheeled a few feet.

The sharp tip of something metal touched my chest, just above the corset. He gripped near the blade and pulled the corset away from my skin. It sliced easily through the fabric.

"Hey!"

"This needs to come off." With two hands and a very loud riiiiip he tore the corset apart and tossed it aside.

I frowned. "There's a zipper right on the side."

His hand covered my mouth and I pictured his tattooed smile making me look happy. I felt my hair move and his dangerous tone sounded right next to my ear, "And I wanted to ruin it."

I shuddered. His hand slid down to settle around my neck and he pressed on my arteries. One finger rested on my clavicle and it slowly traveled down my ribs and across my breast, circling around the nipple. He pinched it between finger and thumb and rolled gently. My cunt throbbed and I sighed. The hand on my throat tightened and my head filled with pressure. I breathed normally, but no oxygen delivered to my brain. He pinched harder on my nipple and I moaned.

Then I felt a cloud in my head. Just fuzzy and euphoric. As it grew I started to feel disconnected from reality, then connected to everything in existence, then suddenly aware I was just one tiny person in a corner of the world with the man she loved. I wish there were better words to describe the way it felt. Rereading it, I can see that it's not exactly right, but there just isn't an accurate way to put it into words. Other than maybe to say that I tripped out. My brain panicked but I cried out in ecstasy. I felt the cloud spread over my body and absently wondered if I was going to die. The idea didn't concern me. This would be the perfect way to go.

He released me then, stepping back. Oxygen laced blood flowed into my mind and the cloud dissipated, washing in a different kind of pleasure. I cried out as my climax began and he slapped the breast he had been pinching. My voice raised to a shriek but I loved every second of it, my legs shaking under the power of my orgasm.

Something soft trailed over my body. A feather maybe? It tickled my most sensitive spots and I squirmed against the restraints of the cross. He ran it over my limbs and across my torso, even letting it play on my face before exchanging it for something soft and fluffy. From the way it wound and caressed around me I pictured a feather boa. That too brushed against every part of my body. Then it was gone and he was stroking my skin with what felt like silk.

When that disappeared I next felt a bunch of strips rubbing over my thigh. They were cool, smooth, and thin. Maybe leather? They lightly hit my thigh and I wiggled my hips. They slapped against the other thigh a little harder and I sucked in a breath. He brought them up over my stomach and across both breasts before hitting my side, the strips curling around my back and the Saint Andrews Cross.

Something pressed against my clit and I heard the click milliseconds before vibration buzzed between my legs. He kept the vibrator held steady as he continued to whip me, each strike harder than the last. One leg, then the other, my other side, my breast, back to my inner thighs. What started as grunts with each hit gradually grew to orgasmic shrieks. My climax was continuous, crested with each stroke of the leather.

Another click sounded and the vibration intensified. I screamed. It felt like my entire body was shaking. Something clattered onto the table and I felt something hard and smooth running over my skin. It smacked the outside of my leg, the pain forcing another crest in my climax. Over and over he hit me with what I knew was a paddle and I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes. Not from the pain, but from the pleasure. I couldn't come down from the high.

He clicked off the vibrator and dropped it onto the table, one final crack of the paddle hitting square between my legs. I screamed again, a long gush pouring from my cunt. He withdrew then, and I was left quivering on the cross. Phantom vibrations rode through my veins and my whole body trembled. My muscles tightened and I came, gasping for air. I continued to shake, trying to come down from the high of bliss, but my body was too overloaded. I came again. _I'm not even being touched and I'm cumming what the fuck._ Two more times I came and then I whimpered.

My legs continued to quake and tears soaked the silk around my eyes. "Make it stop," I wept.

His voice sounded right in front of me, low and dark, " _No_."

I shivered and felt another cresting wave wash over me, moaning loudly. Something cold and metal, a blade of some kind, ran down my shoulder. It turned, the tip sliding back up. He ran it over every inch of me, first the flat side, then the pointed tip, sometimes pressing the dull edge into my skin, others running the sharpened edge so lightly I wasn't afraid of being cut. The entire time my body quivered. He wiped the flat part of the blade up my pussy lips and I whimpered. The he pressed the dull edge against my cunt, drawing it upwards so that it ran straight over my clit, the pointed tip dragging harshly against it. A little squirt shot from my pussy and my voice trembled when I spoke. "Too much." My tone begged him to stop. If I had been capable of stringing together more coherent words, I would have. "Oversensitive."

He chuckled darkly, "That just means that foreplay is over."


	20. Chapter 20

Sorry for the break. J had another table full of breakfast food and wanted me to eat with him. He's off "working" again all day. I didn't even bother asking what it was exactly he'd be doing. It's not like he was going to tell me. We talked about last night and he mentioned wanting to do it again. _Mmmm, that's totally happening._

Ok, back to last night. … Where was I? Right … _foreplay is over_. I was done. Overstimulated. Ready for an exhausted coma from which I would not wake for at least nine hours. And then he said those words.

My chest heaved as a sob wracked me. "Wh… what?"

I felt his hands on either side of my face, one thumb rubbing gently over my cheek. "Let's have some _fun_."

My head shook. _I can't take any more_. He stilled me and then forced my head up and down in a nod. "Yeah, baby. Come on."

One hand left my face and then he was inside me, thrusting madly. I dissolved into tears, further soaking my blindfold. It was too much. Too good. More than I could handle. And then it wasn't enough. My crying turned blissful, desperate. "Fuck," I groaned, " _yes_."

"That's it, baby girl. Give it to me. Come on." His words were punctuated by his hips. Euphoria buzzed in every fiber of my being. _I didn't know I could feel this good_.

Pleasure crescendoed and I shrieked as my pussy streamed.

" _Good girl_. Give it to me." His hand slid down my face and around my throat, squeezing. My head rolled back in ecstasy as he pressed his fingers down. That familiar pressure filled my head and his thrusts never stopped, never slowed. Again and again I climaxed, a fucking waterfall that dripped down my legs.

He shifted and his mouth enclosed on my breast. He suckled and rocked my head side to side. Then he bit down harshly on my nipple and shoved my head back further, his fingers gripping tighter on my neck. I screamed.

He released me then, bending down to uncuff both my ankles. He took one in each hand and shoved my legs up like he had the first time we fucked. But this time he hooked my feet behind my head – something I hadn't attempted since quitting gymnastics, but was pleasantly surprised to find out I could still do easily.

He thrust inside me again, driving far deeper than he had been. I cried out.

"That's better." I could hear the smile in his voice. That fucking grin that makes me go weak kneed. His hands grabbed my breasts and began kneading roughly.

Time stopped existing. Either that or I just lost track. We seemed to go on like for that forever and once again I couldn't keep count of my orgasms. My throat started to feel dry from all the gasps and groans and screeching I was doing.

Something scraped on the little table and I felt a hard pinch on my nipple. It made me yelp. Another scrape, another sharp pinch, this time on the other side. He palmed my breasts, wiggling them side to side and flicked whatever it was he'd clipped to me. I shrieked and he snickered.

 _Fuck it hurts.  
Fuck it feels so good.  
Shit. Yes. Fuck me.  
Don't stop.  
It's not possible to feel this good.  
Don't stop. Yes! Fuck me._

"Fuck. Me!" I cried.

He grabbed my ankles, pulling them from behind my head and putting them on his shoulders. Then he gripped my quads and held me tight against him, pounding my cunt furiously. I found myself on another never ending climax that crested with every thrust of his cock. It shifted ever so slowly. The pleasure started to fade. It started to hurt. Started to become too much again. I couldn't take any more.

And then he clicked on the vibrator.

" _No_." I begged, "I can't. _Please_." It pressed between us, wiggling until it pushed squarely against my clit. I sobbed, "No, no, no, no, no, nooo."

My head snapped to the side when he backhanded me. " _Yes_." He growled. I understood what they meant when people said they "saw stars." Bright white flashed behind my eyelids when he'd hit me. And damn if it didn't feel amazing.

" _Again_." My voice moaned without my consent and he slapped the other side of my face three times in quick succession.

He pressed his torso closer as he fucked me, keeping the vibrator exactly where it was. Then he wound both hands around my throat and squeezed harshly. "You've waited your whole life for someone to put you here. Just like this. You know it. I know it. And that's why your protests fall on deaf ears with me. Now, _cum_."

Goddamnit, I did. Hard and long. Because he was right.

"Good girl."

I tried to come down from my climax, from the orgasmic high. But I couldn't. The vibrator rocked against me with every curling thrust. I felt another cresting wave coming, but I was so tired. So done. I didn't care if it made him hit me again, I couldn't stop the words in my mouth, "Stop. Please."

He laughed and the vibrator never stopped rocking, his cock still sliding in and out repeatedly. I begged him again, " _Please_. … I can't."

He pulled the blindfold from my eyes and I blinked until he came into focus. "I'm not the one moving."

I looked down and fuck me he was right. He was standing still. My hips were the ones rolling over and over again against him. I gushed again and he kissed me. Then he started thrusting and I was helpless against the tide of bliss.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I groaned. "Turn it up."

He laughed again, "It's already on the highest setting."

 _Who is this sex freak in my skin?_

He pounded me until I screamed from pleasure. My legs began shaking and he tossed the cordless Hitachi magic wand onto the table and moved my legs lower, around his waist. My thighs quivered relentlessly as I locked my ankles behind him. He wound the scarf around my neck, holding either end in each hand. And then he pulled, the silk drawing tight against my skin.

"I think about you dying a lot." He smiled at me. "Because you were supposed to. … I wasn't supposed to want you." My head began to pulse and he drew the silk even tighter. I hadn't read his entry in this journal yet, so this was all new information for me. "There could be a thousand universes, and I would find you in all of them, drive you mad, and make you mine."

I felt that trippy cloud descend on me again, filling my head and spreading throughout my body. My eyes rolled back in rapture.

"I'll make you cum, I'll hurt you as much as you want … I'll fuck the skull of anyone who crosses you as long as you say you're mine. Now _cum for Daddy_." I gushed again, a strangled cry ripping from me. He dropped the ends of the scarf and it fell from my neck. The return of blood to my brain washed my body with euphoria and I came harder, my cunt bearing down on him. "Who am I?"

"You're my Daddy," I moaned. He grunted and I felt his cock pulse his cum deep inside me. His hands buried in my hair and he pulled my mouth to his. I whispered against his lips, "And I'm _yours_."

He kept thrusting, still mostly hard, and then he ripped the clips from my nipples. Pain like I have never felt screamed through my breasts and I howled. He laughed. " _Cum_."

I did. So hard that I pushed him out of me. He chuckled again, and kissed my eyes, "Such a good little girl."


	21. Chapter 21

I want to get this in perfect order, so I'm going to write like I would have if I were narrating my life as I lived it.

I finished writing my last journal entry and was just about to look for Jonny when I started to feel horny. Really _really_ horny. Like, sailor back from a year long celibate trip needs to fuck his wife _horny_. At first I thought it was just from reliving Saturday night as I had been writing. But it got so intense I had literal pain.

I got in the Jacuzzi and let it fill around me as I used my fingers on my pussy. When it was high enough I turned off the water and turned on the jets. The force of the jets almost matched that of the Hitachi, and I positioned myself against almost all of them in turn. I don't know how long I sat in the tub. I don't know how many orgasms I gave myself. It was never enough.

My cunt ached horribly. I was desperate to be filled, and J would be gone for hours. Then I remembered the designer shampoo in the shower, the one with the very … appropriately formed bottle for my current needs. I got out of the tub and ducked into the shower stall, grabbing the bottle and going back to the Jacuzzi. The air was a little too cool on my skin after the hot water, so it felt glorious to sink back into the bubbles.

I went to town on myself. It wasn't the same. Wasn't enough. But it lessened things enough that I wasn't in pain anymore. By mid-afternoon I was able to wearily climb from the tub. The next few hours were spent napping naked on J's bed.

I woke a little before 6 and dressed in a blue blouse and skinny jeans. My stomach rumbled when I smelled Chinese food so I wandered into the kitchen, where I found the island counter littered with take out containers. I grabbed one and found a fork and started eating. The door swung open and Jonny walked in.

"Thought I heard you."

"Did you eat already?"

"'Bout half an hour ago."

"Sorry for … hiding out all day. It's been … odd."

"Not a problem. We were just supposed to go back to the Toybox."

"So what did you wind up doing all day?"

He shrugged. "I read for a bit. Watched a couple movies. I was just about to put on another one."

"Can I come?"

"Of course." He grabbed a couple more containers of take out and an open bottle of wine from the fridge before leading me to the TV room. After we sat down he handed me the remote, "Just click through until you find something you wanna see."

"Even Disney?" I smirked.

He made a face and I laughed. I scrolled through the titles between bites of Chinese and finally settled on something I hadn't seen in years. _Cruel Intentions_. Jonny groaned and rolled his eyes but I just told him to stuff it.

I drank the wine straight from the bottle and tried at least one bite from all the containers that had been brought in. _I forgot how dirty this movie is_.

My mind started to wander. I daydreamed about being touched, being fucked. When I realized it wasn't Joker's hands on my pussy in my head but Jonny's, I shook it to try and clear the thoughts. _Just focus on the movie, Harley. … Right, like watching **this** movie is going to help me **not** be horny…_

I curled up in the corner of the couch, my hand holding the wine bottle upright next to me. No matter what I tried, I still found flashes of me and Jonny in _very_ compromising positions buzzing through my brain. _Don't tell me two days of good sex have turned me into an addict…_

I took a long swallow of wine and put the bottle down, absently chewing on my thumbnail. That's when we heard the _Ding_ of the elevator. Jonny got up and walked out of the room.

"You're back early, boss. Everything go well?"

"Exactly as planned."

Their voices dropped lower, likely talking about specifics I wasn't supposed to know. I just grabbed the wine and took another long swig. The movie was almost over anyways. Kathryn was just walking out of the bathroom when Joker strode through the doorway.

"Go for a drive with me."

I nodded and clicked off the TV, "Let me just get my boots."

It took just a few minutes to grab socks and boots from the bedroom. I met J by the elevator and we went down to the garage. We got into the Jokermobile and I had just closed the door when he said, "No seat belt."

"What?" I was still in the process of reaching for it.

"No. Seat belt." He repeated.

I stared at him in confusion, my fingers curling around it. He slapped me, his nonexistent brows furrowed in anger. " _No_."

My hand dropped to my lap and he started the car. When we peeled out of the garage, I grabbed onto the door handle for stability.

"Put your hands on your legs." J ordered.

I let go and placed both palms on my quads. That's when he jerked the wheel and the car screeched left. My head knocked against the window as my body was thrown sideways. He shifted and the car sped up and I felt my adrenaline spike. I tightened the muscles in my stomach and back in effort to remain upright as he sped around the city streets.

My heart pulsed in my throat. Without the comfort of having some kind of protection, the speeds at which he was traveling weren't fun anymore, just spiked my blood with fear. I tumbled against the door again as he swerved violently. I don't think I have ever been so frightened. It was utterly terrifying. The car drifted around a corner and I unconsciously reached for the door handle. He cracked his palm on my leg, "Hands. In. Lap."

"You're scaring me." But I did as he'd ordered.

"Good."

 _What the hell?_

"Why didn't you fuck Jonny today?"

" _What?!_ "

"He deserves a reward for running things these past six months. I had you all primed and ready."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

He looked at me with a malicious smile. "Your orange juice. I put a triple dose of my special concoction in it."

My eyes widened and I stared at him. A mix of fear and fury flooded my veins. "What special concoction?"

"A lust potion an old associate of mine _whipped up_ for me. I haven't had much use for it before now."

"You _drugged_ _me?!_ "

"I nudged you in the right direction. Apparently not hard enough."

I glowered at him, my hands curling into fists. "You drugged me so I would be a _reward_ for your lackey."

"He watched you, ya know. In the bath. I told him he should have just gone in and taken you."

"Is this a fucking joke?"

"Of course not. … I'm very disappointed in you."

"Oh, the feeling is mutual. Is that what I am? One of your toys to be passed around?"

"If that's what I want you to be."

I snarled and started hitting him. He fended me off with his right arm but I was wild; enraged. My attack forced him to slow the car, though he was barely able to downshift between my punches. It finally stopped and he turned to use both hands to fight with me. But I threw the door open and jumped out of his reach.

"Get back in the car, Harley." He demanded.

"Fuck you!" I spat and moved to the back of the Vaydor. Then I slammed my hands on the trunk as I shrieked, " _Asshole!_ "

The tires squealed and the passenger door swung closed when he sped away. I flipped the bird at the departing vehicle and turned to storm away. Where I was going I had no clue. I was just so angry.

Within minutes I saw his headlights turn a corner ahead of me. He had driven around the block. The engine revved and I opened my arms, my feet hip width apart and planted in the middle of the street. The tires squealed again, the car jumping forward, but I held my ground. _Run me over, fucker. Do it._

It gained speed with every foot, but I didn't waver. Let me die, who gives a fuck. The brakes screeched and the car stopped mere inches in front of my knees. We stared each other down.

"Get out now." I said. He just raised those hairless brows. "GET OUT OF THE CAR!"

The engine revved again. I just smiled and gave a little shrug, a challenge. _Face me or kill me, what's it gonna be?_ He climbed from the vehicle, leaving the door hanging open and approached me.

"Why are you doing this?" I demanded.

"I'm testing you." He smiled like it was such a simple explanation.

" _Testing_ me? What, has everything been a fucking test?"

"From the moment we met, Harley girl. You've done so well, but after today I just don't know anymore."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I shrieked. "After everything I have done for you-"

"For me? Or for yourself?"

I glared at him, "It's the same thing and you know it."

"I never wanted a woman. Never needed one. But then I'm locked away for half a year and I finally start to envision the _perfect_ little girl and then," his hands smacked together between our faces before separating wide, fingers waggling, "there you are. Showing me everything I want."

"So why the tests?"

"I'm just supposed to _trust_ that it's real? That this woman you're showing me is who _you_ really are?" He walked around me, danced around me as he spoke. "It's too convenient."

" _Convenient?!_ That I found myself in you?" I put my hands on either side of his face. "You stole my heart and now you won't believe that it's yours?"

He spun out of my grasp and laughed, "Harley, Harley, Harley… How can I believe I own you when you don't play by the rules?"

A deep voice called out from behind J, a large man in a hat approaching with a tire iron in his grip, "Lady, _run!_ "

J turned, lifting one hand and pointing at the man. "This doesn't concern you."

He turned back to me as the man said, "I know who you are. I ain't gonna let you hurt her."

My hand dipped under J's silver metallic jacket and gripped the gun in his holster. One smooth motion had it out and leveled at the man. I shot him between the eyes and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. Then my arm swiveled and I aimed the gun at J.

He laughed when the gun shook in my hand. It happened so fast … "Why did I do that?"

"Because you wanted to, baby girl." He grinned.

"Why were you trying to scare me?" I demanded and his eyes crinkled.

"You told me nothing had scared you more than Lonnie's attack … I'm just trying to rectify that."

"So that's it then? Terrify me, fuck me, pass me around, that's what I'm good for?"

He bobbed side to side and the gun followed. I was so angry. I had done everything he ever asked. I know he loves me … I could see it in that journal entry he wrote. Why couldn't he see how much I loved him?

"I have so many plans, baby. … I just have to make sure that these changes in you are permanent." He pressed his forehead against the barrel of the gun, his fingers flicking in an encouraging manner and a different smile took over his features. "Come on, baby. Do it. You know you want to."

My finger curled around the trigger… but I could never hurt him. I held the gun firm and steady, an ominous threat to end his life, but we both knew I would never shoot him.

He spread his arms wide, "This is your chance, Harley girl. You better take it."

I swallowed and whispered, "I can't. I love you."

He moved so fast I didn't realize what was happening. His hands flew up, snatching the gun from my hold and he tilted his neck, his body following like a dance. Then he held the gun to the side of his head. "Maybe I'll just do it, then."

He leaned forward, taunting, "Is that what you want, Pumpkin?"

I shook my head, eyes wide, "No. _Please._ "

He put the gun back in its holster and backhanded me so hard I spun and fell to the ground. In a low, dangerous voice he growled, "Never point a gun at someone if you don't intend to shoot them."

The pain in my cheek wound its way down my spine to coil in my cunt. I wanted him so badly. "What do I have to do to prove myself to you? I killed Alera. I killed those men who cheated you. I've done _everything_ you ever asked of me and more."

He stood over me, hands on the waistband of his black pants and stared down at me. Then he pointed at me before sweeping his hand forward. "You do whatever you want, Harley. Go."

I threw myself upward to a seated position as he turned and walked away, down the passenger side of the car. My heart was frozen in my chest. _Don't leave me_.

"I want _you_." He didn't stop. "Do I have to mix up my own bath of chemicals? … I'll do it. To prove myself."

I got to my feet and moved to follow him as he rounded the back of the car. "Now _that_ is an idea …" He chuckled darkly.

He went to the driver's side, put a hand on the window of the open door and gestured to me, "Get in."

I did as he'd said and climbed back into the vehicle. He got in the driver's seat and pulled the door closed.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly.

"You'll see." His voice was full of promise. _At least he didn't send me away._


	22. Chapter 22

He sped through the city streets, still not allowing me to use my seat belt. At least he didn't take corners so hard I was thrown around. The car slowed in front of Ace Chemicals, parking at the end of a thin alley. We both climbed out and I followed him down to a nondescript door. He pulled out the gun I had used earlier and shot out the lock. Inside was a huge room, giant cylinders in the middle. He took my hand and brought me over to an open metal staircase. We climbed to the top of a very high platform and walked near the edge. J swept a hand toward the 9 steaming, bubbling vats of liquid, set three by three. "There. I was born down there."

 _I used to be_ _ **normal**_ _. Then I took a bath in some chemicals and became a god._ I wanted the same. Wanted to prove myself. Wanted to join him. These chemicals that unlocked his cells and broke his mind… I could be a goddess.

"Question." He rubbed the back of his hand down my arm. "Would you die for me?"

 _Give my life to save yours? Let you squeeze the air from my lungs? Follow your orders should you tell me to take a bullet to the skull?_

I turned slightly to face him, knowing the answer immediately. "Yes."

"That's too easy." He paused. "Would you … would you live for me?"

 _Dying is easy. It's living that's hard … But to give my life to you, to live my life for you, knowing who you are and what you do, knowing that I would be walking into a world I can't even imagine ... to let the Clown Prince of Crime reign supreme and in control of_ _ **me**_ _, all that I_ _ **am**_ _, and all I ever_ _ **could**_ _be? That's easy._

I opened my mouth to answer but he continued. "Will you embrace me, and only me?"

I nodded vigorously. _Who could ever need more? You are_ _ **everything**_ _. There'll never be anyone else._

"Will you bind your spirit to mine … in _hate_?" _Bind me. Bind my spirit, my body, all of me the way you've bound my heart. Bind me any way you want._

"Do you _consign_ your _soul_ to me?" _Duh. Do you really need to ask? What do you think I've been trying to do here? Just take it already!_

"Do you laugh at the world in _disgust_?" _As long as you're right there laughing with me. Anything. Anything you ask of me and it's yours._

But all I said was, "Yes."

He raised a finger in warning, "Careful. Do not say this oath _thoughtlessly_."

His left hand covered my lips with his tattooed smile. "Desire becomes surrender, surrender becomes _power_."

He lifted his hand then trailed it down my face, one finger lightly resting on my lower lip. "Do you want this?"

My voice never sounded so sure, "I do."

"Say it. Say it. Say it." His voice was a manic whisper. "Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty-"

" _Please_."

" _God_ , you're _so_ … _good_." He stepped back, gesturing below us to the vats. His birthplace. His mother. My one and only chance to truly _join_ him.

I looked down at them one last time before turning around to look at J. He opened his arms and I imitated, staring at him with devotion. Then I leaned backward until I was falling off the platform, flying through the air. It was a delirious feeling.

Hitting the liquid knocked the wind out of me. Fire licked over every inch of my skin. I felt my glasses begin to melt and knocked them from my face. Lower and lower I sank below the surface, the chemicals burning away at me. It was everywhere – in my ears, trying to seep between my closed eyelids, scorching my belly button.

I felt darkness closing around me. Was I dying? Those cracks that had weakened my psyche during the electroshock shattered completely and I was broken. My mind started to skitter from one subject to the next, a girlish laughter echoing behind it all. The last thing I remember is a voice in my head saying _I wanna **play**_ before darkness overtook.

And then I was in his arms, his kiss dragging me back to reality. I sucked in a deep breath, the liquid dripping into my open mouth. My eyes opened, the chemicals happily sinking into them, and I saw him over me, a smile on his face. He kissed me again and my arm wound behind his neck as I poured myself into him. And then he laughed.

The pain was more than anything I had ever felt and it was over every part of my body. I could feel it altering me – seeping into my skin, into my cells, changing things. My atoms sizzled as the process started. Parts of me that had never before seen the light began to take center stage as other pieces withered and died. But all I could feel was the death. It was as if the chemicals were attacking my very DNA, peeling it apart and chopping pieces off, adding bits of themselves before sewing everything back up in an attempt to mirror what once had been. I opened my mouth to scream but instead I laughed along with him. Joy suffused my being. Torment incinerated every fiber. Pain is pleasure, pleasure is pain. I understand it now. _One and the same._

He moved to the edge of the vat and set me down before climbing out. Then he took my hand and helped me over the side.

"Well ain't you just sweet as puddin'." I giggled.

He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me again. That's when I noticed that our clothes were disintegrating. There were streaks of blue and maroon in the vat we had just left, our shirts having bled their colors as they fell apart. I picked up a section of my blouse and it tore away in my hand. I giggled again as I tossed it aside. J climbed the platform again, retrieving his jacket, and dialing the cell phone he plucked from the pocket. My skin was so hot I half expected steam to be wafting from me.

I assumed he was talking to Jonny as he walked down the stairs. I watched his clothes falling off piece by piece, slowly revealing the alabaster muscles that enticed me like no other. By the time we got back outside, Jonny was there, holding open the rear passenger side door for us. He handed me his coat as I got in but I just threw it on the seat. I didn't care who saw me naked. _Let them get a peek._

"Emilio went to get the tow truck for the Jokermobile." Jonny said as my Joker climbed in next to me. J nodded and Jonny closed the door before walking around the car to the front seat.

As he pulled away from the building my vision blurred. I blinked a few times, but it only made it worse. I could feel the chemicals dripping down my back and down my legs. My shoes were destroyed, having been eaten away in the vat, and between my toes burned something fierce. Sound distorted and I pulled on my ears as if all I'd needed to do was pop them. But it didn't help.

Suddenly it felt like my organs were shutting down. My hand grasped at my chest over my heart. It became hard to breathe. I slumped against the seat, my muscles roiling. They pulled apart and smashed back together. My skin turned to liquid and dripped off of me. I started to panic.

Then J's voice, right by my ear, a soothing muffled tone. "You're not dying. You're not coming apart at the seams. … You're becoming something _better_."

 _How can you say that? Can't you see what's happening to me?_

He kissed my cheek and I whimpered, the pressure of his lips making my skin crack and tear. Then I started to laugh. Different voices whispered in my mind, the loudest a childish version of my own repeatedly singsonging _I wanna play, I wanna play, I wanna plaaaay._

J climbed over me and out of the car. Where we really back home already? I tried to follow him but my limbs wouldn't obey my brain's commands. He lifted me out of the car and carried me like a babe, the pressure of his arms like spikes. The tears that rolled from my eyes felt like shards of glass carving into my face. I still couldn't see, couldn't really hear. Changing colors told me when we were in the elevator, and then the penthouse. He brought me to the bedroom and I wondered if he would help me shower this stuff off of me.

Instead he placed me on the bed and ripped the last shreds of clothing from my body. Then he was gone. Flames licked every inch of me, coursing with my blood and boiling my innards. I felt the comforter below me coming apart, disintegrating from the remaining chemicals.

Something dripped into my eyes and they cleared. Then my head was turned side to side and the same something dripped into my ears, sounds coming into focus again. I looked down at my naked form, surprised to see that my skin was intact and none the worse for wear. It really had felt like it had all sloughed off. Most of the chemicals were gone, absorbed into me.

He climbed over me and wiped his thumb across my cheek. I winced. The slightest touch was like searing coals. His breath washed over my face, little razors gliding through my skin.

I screamed when he roughly shoved my legs up and entered me. It was like being stabbed with a red hot poker. My words were barely comprehensible, "No. _NO. **STOP.**_ "

But he didn't. He pounded me savagely, his voice euphoric. "This is the best it will _ever_ feel."

I wept bitterly, each tear another slice to my face. Pain ravaged me, burning away all of Harleen. But still, I came. The force of it ripped a shriek from my throat and he chuckled.

"Good girl."

On and on it went. The most pain I have ever experienced, the best orgasms I've ever been given. I hated him and loved him. I tried to fight him off me, though that just caused him to pin me down and fuck me harder, then I was grabbing at him, pulling him closer, begging him for more. My body overloaded with agony and bliss, every cell overwhelmed and exploding from sensation.

"Do you feel safe, _doctor_?" His fingers closed around my throat and when he squeezed it was like thick coils of barbed wire digging into me.

"Yes."

His tone dropped low, "Even though I'm going to cut you later?"

I giggled, thrilled at the idea of him making me bleed, "Ah, promises, promises."

He chuckled and kissed me, thrusting his tongue into my mouth. My lips felt blistered and raw, his tongue like sandpaper on mine.

"Cum good and hard, baby. Daddy's gonna fuck your ass dry. You better squirt if you want some kind of lube." His hands tightened on my throat and my eyes rolled back in my head. The promise of more pain coming made my pussy gush. He snickered and thrust into me harder. I don't know how long I streamed.

Then he sat up and pulled out of my cunt, pushing my legs up toward my head. I felt him pressing against my asshole and I shuddered. He entered slowly, meeting resistance in my virgin ass, but pushed through it. He thrust a few times, then pulled out and returned to my cunt for another coat of my juices. This time, when he entered my ass again, he slid in far more easily.

"Oh-ho-ho, you little slut." He licked the side of my face as he fucked my ass. "You opened right up for me."

"It hurts so _good_." I moaned.

"That's right, baby girl. You love Daddy's cock in your ass, don't you?"

" _Yes_!" I cried. He pounded into me violently. "Don't stop."

"Never."

 _Then I … became a god._ His words echoed in the hollows of my mind. I knew I was forever changed. No longer Harleen Quinzel. She died in that vat and I rose from her ashes, the goddess I was meant to be. I wrapped my fingers behind his neck and pulled him down to claim his mouth with mine.

He gave me this. This joy, this change. He plucked me from my sad little life and showed me what it really meant to live. He unlocked my cells and filled them with his truth – pain is pleasure, pleasure is pain. No one will ever compare to my beloved Joker. And I know that he feels the same for me, his Harley girl.

I am his and he is mine. _Forever._


	23. Chapter 23

My eyes opened on Monday to a completely different world. Ultimately the same, but I saw an entirely changed Gotham. Standing at the window, looking down on the peasants who crawled the streets like so many ants. None of them mattered. I could drop a bomb on top of them, destroy them, break a million hearts over the poor, sad, undeserved loss of life. The earth would still turn. The sun would still burn. And I would be here, watching more little peasants fill the void where these had been.

This city that used to be so teeming with promise, with hope. What a joke. Gotham City, the underbelly of America. Full of criminals, victims, so-called heroes. And not a single one of them mattered. None but my J.

It wasn't until after I showered and saw myself in the mirror that I noticed how pale white my skin had become. _Now everyone will know who I belong to._

My stomach rumbled loudly. I picked up the clock in the bedroom. _Holy shit is it really 4:30 PM? No wonder I'm so hungry._

I skipped the closet and stretched as I walked naked from the bedroom, feeling more limber than I had in years. The goosebumps that raised over my skin from the coolness of the air in the penthouse made me giggle. From the fridge I gathered leftover Chinese from the night before. I hopped on the island and ate straight from the cold containers. After twenty minutes of completely stuffing myself I heard the kitchen door swing open.

"Oh shi- Harley!"

I giggled and looked over my shoulder at Jonny, "Did I scare you?"

"I didn't know you were up."

"Mmmm … I don't have to be." I lowered until I lie flat on the island, my head tilted so that I was looking at him upside down.

"What are you doing?"

"You should come over here, because I owe you something." _And I'm horny._

A slow smirk lifted his expression. Then he licked his lips. I grinned at him, my hands sliding down my torso to slide my fingers between my pussy lips. He slipped out of his jacket as he crossed the floor and I couldn't help but laugh at his eagerness. I sat up when he got to the edge of the island and started to unbuckle his belt while he loosened his tie. Unbutton, unzip, push them down _Show me what I want._

He was already hard. I was already wet. A match made in heaven. I guided him into me, locking my ankles behind him as he pumped slowly. His hands were tender and soft on my skin, as if I were delicate crystal to be handled reverently. One trailed down my spine, the other palming my tit with delicacy. I wrapped my arms around his back and slowly lowered back down, pulling him over me. He was sweet, gentle, nothing like J. But still, damn good sex. I was moaning out my ninth or tenth orgasm, the floor littered with spilled take out containers, when J walked in.

"Enjoying yourself, Pumpkin?" His eyes glittered.

I tilted my head to look at him upside down, a huge smile on my face. "So much, Puddin'."

Jonny's thrusts never altered with the arrival of his boss, and there was something so erotic about the man I love watching me fuck someone else. His eyes locked onto mine, another man's cock thrusting in my cunt. J approached us and took the tie from Jonny's neck. Then he slipped the knot out and wound the fabric around my throat.

My eyes fluttered closed and he didn't make me wait long. J's strong hands pulled tight on the tie, holding the ends taut so long that I felt that trippy cloud descend on me, filling my body with that euphoric fuzziness. I could swear he denied me air far longer than he ever had before. The pleasure that flooded my body was overwhelming. My brain panicked; from lack of air and being unable to handle the overload of bliss. He kissed me upside down and then lowered his mouth to my ear.

"I made you turn purple," he whispered as he released the tie. Oxygen flooded my lungs, my brain. Jonny sped up as I began to quiver all over. I screamed my climax, the orgasm taking over my entire being. Fuzzy. Shaking. Ecstasy. Too much. Not enough. Jonny cried out as he came and then stilled.

I sat up and pulled gently on his beard, kissing him softly. "We are _so_ doing that again."

He chuckled and wiped his forehead. "Whatever you say, Harley."

I released my legs from around him and spun around to face Joker. "Is it my daddy's turn now?"

"Later, baby. I'm taking you out."

I grinned and he helped me down from the island. "Where we goin'?"

"You'll see. I had something made for you. It's in the bedroom."

I clapped my hands excitedly. "Presents!"

He slapped my ass as I scampered past him and I laughed. When my feet entered the bedroom I gasped. _It's so beautiful_. A mannequin stood in front of the bed, clothed in a full body suit of red and black. The colors alternated in such a pretty fashion, little diamonds decorating. A white looping collar. A two sided jester cowl. Matching white looping wristlets and gloves that matched the sleeves colors.

His voice behind me, "My Harley Quinn… the world needs to know you've arrived."

I spun on my toes and threw my arms around him, pressing my lips to his. "Aw, Puddin', I _love_ it!"

He helped me take it off the mannequin and put it on, with far more fondling than was absolutely necessary. Then he handed me the cowl and collar and told me to finish getting ready in the bathroom. "Meet me at the elevator."

I found new makeup on the counter. A more pure white than my new skin tone, everything else black. I first pulled my hair into two buns, then I painted my face, drawing a mask around my eyes and coating my lips in black. I slipped on the jester hat and then attached the collar. On the bed I found ankle boots that perfectly matched the bodysuit.

 _A perfect little harlequin._ ** _A monstrous little demon_** _._ _I. Wanna. PLAY. _**_Oh, yes. Let's_ _play_** _._ This voice was different, darker. A gravelly and dangerous tone that begged for mayhem. The other voices were softer, chattering incessantly in the back of my mind. But the little girl and the monster … they had the tendency to scream.

I skipped from the room, feeling more like myself than I ever have. I heard them talking as I approached.

"… confirmed a few minutes ago. Jason Todd is back in town."

"And Wayne?"

"Still out of the country."

"Let's give him one more night, shall we?"

"You sure about that, boss? We're far more likely to-"

" _Jonny_." J's tone brooked no arguments, a thinly veiled rage boiling below the surface.

The bearded man nodded and looked in my direction. J turned around and opened his arms, "Perfect."

I spun in a little circle, showing off all my curves. "Where we goin', Mistah J?"

"It's a surprise, baby girl." He pressed the button for the elevator and we were down in the Jokermobile in minutes.

I looked out the window as we moved through the city streets. And then we were leaving Gotham. "But, Puddin'," I pouted "I wanna _play_."

He laughed, "Oh, we will, darlin'. Don't you worry about that."

We drove forever. What could be so special that we had to drive so far? We left New Jersey, crossed through New York and Connecticut. Then we were in Massachusetts. When things started to look familiar I turned to eye him quizzically. He just grinned.

We pulled up in front of my childhood home and he stopped the car. I warily climbed out and slowly rounded the car, where he had the trunk open. "What're we doin' here?"

He pulled out a large wooden mallet, decorated with little red diamonds on a white background and held it in my direction. "No one hurts my Harley girl."

 _ **YES!**_ The voices shrieked in unison. I laughed wickedly as I took it from him, bouncing up and down excitedly. "Really, really, Mistah J?"

"Lead the way, Pumpkin."

I turned and rushed up to the door. The spare key was where it always was – tucked under the mat. J flicked on the lights as we moved through the house and up the stairs. Soft snoring greeted my ears when we got to the top.

There was no light switch in my grandparents' bedroom, only side lamps on nightstands on either side of the bed. I opened the door slowly _Damn he fixed the creak_ and then I giggled. The snoring stopped, a shifting sounding on the bed. I waited a beat or two and then I giggled again.

The light clicked on and Harold sat up, staring at the two of us in a stupor. "What? Who?"

" _Where? When? How?_ " mocked J.

I laughed, turning a brilliant smile on my ancestor. "Hiya, Grampsy. Miss me?"

Horrified confusion marred his features. "Harleen?"

" _The fuck kinda name is Harleen anyways?_ " I snarled. His eyes widened and I went back to my sweet girly voice. "I'm Harley."

"Harley…?"

"I wanted you to know somethin', PopPop." I stepped further into the room, the mallet spinning in my hands. "You were wrong all those years ago. I _do_ have a Daddy."

Large eyes swiveled between the mallet and my face. "What're you talkin' about?"

"Don'tcha remember? Tellin' me I had a Father, not a Daddy." My tone lowered as I tried to imitate his voice, "'He was tricked into fatherin' you and ain't nobody expect nothin' else from him.'"

"My son-"

"Nobody's talkin' about that piece of shit rapist."

He scowled, " _Your mother_ -"

" _Mama was an angel!_ " I snapped. "A saint who didn't deserve the hell she went through. But don't you worry, I'll be paying a visit to settle that debt with my other grandparents."

"I always knew you were rotten."

I laughed, "Oh, you have _no idea_."

J growled, malicious intent glimmering in his eyes as he stared at the old man. I glanced at him with a smile before looking back at my grandfather with a giggle, "My daddy doesn't like you very much."

Harold glowered at me. "You don't have a daddy, _idiot._ "

J roared, flying across the room and grabbing him out of the bed by his shirt before slamming him against the wall. " _Yes. She. Does._ "

I laughed and moved closer, perching my head on J's shoulder so I could look Harold right in the eyes. "My daddy is very protective of his little girl. Aren't you, Daddy?"

I kissed his cheek as he snarled, "That's right, baby."

I stepped back and spun the mallet again. "I didn't deserve what you put me through, Grampsy. And now you're gonna pay for what you did to me."

Harold changed his tune then. I think Joker scared some sense into him. _My beloved Daddy._ "Kept you outta foster care. Raised you. Put a roof over your head and food in your stomach."

J snarled again and I chuckled mirthlessly. "Neglected me. Abused me. Deprived me of love and affection. Isolated me. Took away the one thing that actually helped me survive under _your roof_ because 'I ain't payin' for no fuckin' gymnastics if Henrietta ain't here.' _Stole my childhood._ … But my Daddy, he loves to see me play. And Pops, for all eighteen years you fucked me over, I am gonna _play with you_."

J whirled, throwing Harold to the floor. I raised the mallet over my head and slammed it down on his stomach. He yelled from the pain and I lifted the mallet again. Each word was punctuated with another hit.

"You." I smashed one knee and he howled.

"Fucking." A slam to his other knee and tears streamed from his eyes.

"Bastard." I swung the mallet like a golf club and his hip snapped from the force of the blow. Each crack of his bones made my smile wider.

"Go." His other hip, more inane wailing.

"Back." The mallet came down square on his chest and I heard at least one rib break.

"To." Again on his ribs, the sound of snapping bones loud enough that his sobbing couldn't mask them.

"Hell." One last hit to the chest and he gurgled, a burst of blood exploding from between his lips when he coughed. _Looks like I punctured your lungs hahaha!_ That darker voice echoed laughter through my brain **_hahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA_**

His voice, so full of horror and regret and pain, begged softly, "Harleen, _please_." I laughed at him.

" _Harley_." Corrected J with an ominous growl. He pulled a gun from his holster and pointed it at Harold, a fury I have never seen before etched into his face.

"Tell." I raised the mallet high over my head and brought it down on Harold's worthless dick as I spoke, his pelvis snapping instantly.

"Henrietta." Slam, right on the nose. Blood spurted from his nostrils and he screamed.

"I." Again to the face, the delicate bones giving way easily.

"Said." This time all his noises ceased. But I wasn't done.

"… FUCK! YOU!" Two final smacks to the face and I moved to other parts of his body, grunting with exertion every time my weapon came down again.

I was gasping by the time I was done and the mallet dropped to the floor. _A worthless bag of broken bones. Ha!_ Blood poured from his gaping head. It didn't even look like he had a face anymore. I spat on the corpse.

"You did so good, baby."

I turned to J with shining eyes, "Oh, _thank you_ , Puddin'. Best surprise ever!" _And just exactly what I wanted!_

He pulled me close to him and kissed me deeply. I hopped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, his hands massaging my ass. He took a few steps and fell on top of me on the bed. I grabbed the chains around his neck, pulling him closer. "Mine." I nipped at his lower lip.

We fucked on my grandparents' bed in my childhood home, Harold's body cooling only a few feet away. Then J drove us home and we fucked again before falling asleep in each other's arms.

.

 _{[Author's Note: I hope the voices in her head are separated enough to be understandable. The "monster" was supposed to be written with strikethrough text but I couldn't get that to post, so I had to switch to bold. The "little girl" is underlined. Harley's normal thoughts are just italics.]}_


	24. Chapter 24

For the first time I woke before J. _Perfection._ Everything I could ever want. More than I could have dreamed. _Everything._ My King. My God. My Joker.

I thought about last night, one nail between my teeth. Then I pulled out my journal to write. I was just finishing when his arms wrapped around me and pulled me against him. I giggled as I slid across the sheets and arched my back, rubbing my ass on his crotch. He growled and dipped his hand between my legs, his other hand grabbing a fistful of my hair and yanking. _Pain and pleasure, pleasure and pain._ I sighed, my eyes fluttering closed.

We fucked our way through a shower and ate together before J told me he and Jonny had a few things to finalize before "the big show tonight."

"What, are we goin' to the theater?"

He snickered, "No, baby. A _much_ bigger show than that."

"So what am I supposed to do all day?"

"Anything you want." The way he smiled at me made me feel all gooey and evil inside. I smirked back at him.

"Can I have some of your guys?"

"Any way you like."

I giggled and sipped on the straw in my glass, "You know, this orange juice would be better as a mimosa."

J's smile widened and he called into the other room, "Jonny, bring Harley some champagne."

A few moments later, Jonny entered empty handed with a quizzical expression. "J, you can't be serious."

J frowned at him, "She _wants_ a _drink_."

"Yeah, but she doesn't know-"

" _Jonny_."

"What don't I know?" I looked between the two of them, reading an angry silent conversation in their eyes. "Hey! What don't I know?"

Jonny's lips were set thin line and he finally broke J's gaze to meet my eyes. "It's the chemicals."

" _Jonny!_ " J growled.

"You can't drink. It'll make you sick. Throw up everything you've eaten in a month sick." Then he ducked, a steak knife embedding in the wall where his head had been.

J's fist slammed on the table at having his fun spoiled. Silence loomed but for a moment and then I was laughing so hard my palm slapped onto the tabletop.

"But that woulda been so funny!" I cackled.

Jonny shook his head and walked out of the room. J smirked at me and then got to his feet.

"You know, I think he's sweet on you."

"Awww, poor little Jonny."

"Three floors down, whenever you want. I'll tell them to be ready for you." He kissed my forehead while squeezing my throat and I shuddered in his hold. Then he bent to brush my lips with his and he was striding for the doorway, calling, "JONNY! Let's GO!"

I put on my harlequin outfit again, my cleaned mallet right next to the red and black ankle boots. Hair and make up like the night before, cowl and collar placed perfectly. Zip on the boots, hit the second elevator, down to floor 72. The doors opened to what looked like a normal office space. There was a young woman sitting at the receptionist's desk. She looked up when I walked in and smiled. A buzzer sounded and she gestured to the door behind her, "Right through there, Miss Quinn."

I snickered, practically skipping past her, "Honey, call me Harley."

I pushed open the door, mallet over my shoulder, and found about twenty guys milling around, chatting. They all hushed, turning to look at me as I walked in. "Hiya, boys. … Harley Quinn, nice to meetcha."

 _Oh they will do quite nicely._ _We can just stay here, right? Oh, we could have soooo much fun just staying right here._

"J said you wanted some company." A massive black man stepped forward, long dreads hanging from his head. My mind conjured images of the pornos J had had playing back in the Playroom.

I grinned up at him salaciously. "I got some plans for today. … Maybe when they're done we can have some _real_ fun."

He smirked and glanced behind him to the rest of the men. "J says you're in charge. Whatever you say goes."

"Well, boys… we're going shopping."

"Shoppin'?" I heard muttered from the group. I spun the mallet in my hands and grinned wickedly at them.

"More like stealin'. You loaded up or are we goin' to the Toybox first?"

The man who'd stepped forward gestured to the offices, "Everything we need in there."

I let my gaze roam over the men, locking eyes with each in turn. "I need at least a dozen of ya. But you're all welcome to come along."

They nodded and dispersed into the varying rooms to load up on guns. All but the black man. He walked up and held out a hand, "Name's Frankie." I shook his hand as he continued. "What kind of trouble can we expect?"

I smiled wide, "Only the best."

Frankie got everyone ready. He was clearly the one usually in charge of this band of men. Then he led us to a different elevator on the other side of the floor. It went down to the garage, where they all piled into three large black vans.

Frankie got behind the wheel of that little red thing Jonny and I had taken to the Toybox – a 2014 Chevy Corvette Stingray Convertible – and I hopped over the passenger side door. I perched on the top of the head rest and pointed to the exit with the mallet. "Tally ho!"

We led the line of cars up onto the streets and drove straight to Gotham's version of Rodeo Drive. While we sped through the streets I pulled out a red permanent marker and drew smiley faces with x's for eyes on either circular side of the mallet. Frankie parked and I hopped onto the sidewalk, walking straight into the closest shoe store. A bell chimed when I crossed the threshold and a woman stood from straightening a display.

"Can I help-" She faltered when she turned and saw me.

I grinned, "Hi."

"I think you're in the wrong place, dear."

"Nope." I stepped further inside, the mallet swinging back and forth in my hand.

I could see the gears turning in her mind as she stepped away from me. The door chimed again and Frankie entered the store. The woman's eyes widened to the size of saucers when he flicked the lock and turned the OPEN sign around.

"I'm calling the police." She rushed to the counter but Dil and Mick stepped out from the back room and grabbed her. Her shriek made me giggle.

"Nope. Wrong again." I looked at Frankie, "Tell them I want every style in a size 7."

He went into the back to talk to the rest of the guys while I ordered Dil to sit her down behind the counter. They shoved her to the floor and let me step in front of them, then pulled guns from their holsters, one in each hand. I squatted in front of the woman and tilted my head.

"That wasn't very smart, lady."

"Please don't hurt me."

"See, I'm not ready for the cops to be on my tail. I got a few more stops to make, ya know?"

"I won't call them. I won't say anything!"

I scowled, "Now I know you're lyin'. I don't like liars, lady."

Her eyes flooded with tears, body trembling in fear. "I swear. I won't say a word. _Please_."

I tipped my head to look up at Mick, "What do you think, Mickie-boy?"

He rolled his shoulder and eyed the woman appraisingly. "Whoever owns this place is gonna find out about the theft. You know it's gonna come right back to her."

"And these security cameras." Dil pointed around the ceiling.

"They're right, ya know." I looked back at the young woman.

"I can show you where they store the tapes! Take them! No one will ever know!"

I chuckled, "Well that's not gonna work." My legs extended as I stood, looking down on her. "This entire city is gonna know, sweetie. I'm gonna make sure of it."

"But you said-"

"I said no cops _yet_. … And I just don't trust that you're not gonna call 'em soon as we leave."

"I promise, I _swear_ -"

I held an open palm over my shoulder and one of the boys placed his gun into it. "Here's the thing…" I pointed the gun at her, my finger curled around the trigger. "I don't believe you."

" _NO!_ "

BAM. The gun jumped, her forehead exploded, and I cackled madly. Frankie came out of the back room and stared down at the body. "We're almost done."

"Good. Leave some guys to finish up. The rest of us are going to stop number 2." I handed the gun back to Dil and walked out from behind the counter. Then I looked up at one of the security cameras, winked, and blew a kiss at the lens. _**Come find me, fuckers. Let's make this a good one.**_

We left through the back so the storefront remained locked. Instead of getting back in the vans, we just walked down to the back door of a designer clothing store and busted inside. It was quiet, dark. But voices floated from the storefront. I moved through the racks and boxes to peer into the open space. A few employees. More customers than I would have expected so early. I looked over the guys and gestured to Lu for his weapon. He handed it over without second thought.

I stepped back and nodded my head towards the door. Frankie led the boys out into the bright lights and a woman shrieked. I followed, the M60 pointed upward.

"Alright, ladies and germs." I squeezed the trigger, bullet after bullet embedding into the ceiling. Someone screamed. "This store is closed to the public for a private shopping experience. Everybody out!"

The people ran for the exits as I fired again, eyes dancing. Once everyone was out the boys locked the doors and I started pulling out whatever caught my eye. I tried on a few things over the body suit, prancing around the store. No more than ten minutes passed before sirens were screaming outside. I ignored them and continued my shopping, selecting an entire wardrobe.

Someone shouted over a bullhorn. "We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!"

My eyes rolled and I continued to ignore them. After fifteen to twenty minutes I heard Frankie yelling from the front of the shop. "Harley, they're makin' a move!"

"Then take care of 'em!"

Glass shattered. The sound of automatic gunfire filled the air and I picked up a soft pink mini dress. Death, destruction, cute clothes … what a way to finish out a morning!

By the time the gunfight slowed I was nearly done. The store littered with spent casings, cloudy with gunsmoke. Frankie approached, looking around the mess. "Al says there's two big police vans out back."

I nodded, holding a black lace teddy to my body. "Tell him to wait ten minutes and then take care of them."

"You bet." He tapped a message on the screen of his cell.

"You two." I pointed at the closest two guys, and then at the pile of clothing I had gathered. "Pack all this up."

They nodded and went behind the counter for an armful of bags. I loitered in the lingerie area, grabbing a ton more than I intended. Then a massive explosion rocked behind the store.

"That's our cue, fellas!" I called out. "Haul ass!"

We rushed through the back room and outside to see both vans on their sides, giant holes of twisted, charring metal burning away. I looked over and saw Al lowering the RPG-7 and grinned. Then I looked at the guys. "Frankie, pull the car around."

He nodded and rushed through an alleyway toward the street and where we'd parked. I gestured to some of the guys and then the three black vans just down the way. "You six, take all this shit back to the penthouse. Tell one of the housekeepers to organize the second walk-in. J's got too much for us to share his. I want it all put away by the time I get back."

Dil and Lu broke off with four others, the six of them loading up the bags before running to the van at the end and piling inside. Frankie squealed around the corner and sped to meet us.

"As for the rest of you." The car stopped on a dime next to me. "We're goin' to DeBure's."

"Now that's what I'm talking about." Terry grinned.

More sirens approached and I ran around the car to hop over the door. The rest of the guys rushed for the other two vans and we were peeling out in seconds. Two streets down a police car swung behind us, quickly joined by two more.

Frankie took a long circuitous route to the Diamond Exchange, where DeBure's – the most expensive jeweler in town – sat nestled in the heart of it. We just barely all got inside before the police swarmed.

"All employees, out front!" I barked over the shrieking customers. The boys rounded everyone into a group in the center of the store. I spun the mallet in my hands as I walked around the crowd, finally stopping in front of a mid-twenties blond man with a name tag pinned to his shirt. "Is there anyone else here?"

He shook his head and I spun, slamming the mallet through the glass top of one of the cases. An alarm sounded immediately, ringing loud. "Take it all, boys!"

My men spread throughout the store, smashing all the cases and grabbing fistfuls of jewelry. More sirens screamed outside and I put the mallet on my shoulder. I watched the terrified group with a smile. I didn't notice the man I'd talked to looking time and again at the door to the back. But Frankie did. He saw what I didn't.

He launched himself at me, screaming, "HARLEY!"

Then he collided into me, knocking me flat on the ground, his body covering mine just as a gunshot exploded. I saw Jimmy whirl, gun raised, and he fired two shots at the doorway. I tried to shift under Frankie and even though he kept me covered, I was able to glimpse a security guard falling to the ground. Three police officers entered through the door and my boys jumped into action, shooting until their bodies fell over the guard's.

Frankie rolled off me once it was clear no one else would be coming through the door and I leapt to my feet, enraged eyes turning on the blond man. "You lied to me."

"I didn't – I just – he was-"

I grabbed the man, pulling him so close I could smell the coffee on his breath. With my eyes locked onto his, I spoke to my boys. "Kill them all."

The man's eyes widened, his mouth dropping. "No, please-"

"I don't like liars." I shook my head when Ken raised his pistol to the man's temple. "Oh, no. He's gonna watch."

I spun the man around and used the mallet's handle to press against his throat, his back against my front. He wept when the shooting started again. "I was gonna let you live. Let you all live. This? … This is _your_ fault."

One by one the bodies dropped, their blood intermingling on the floor. I laughed at the carnage. When the last person fell, I pulled the wood harder against his throat. "You shoulda told me the truth."

He blubbered as I threw him to the ground. I didn't give him the chance to beg for his life. I just raised the mallet over my head and brought it smashing down on his temple. Then again. And again. Until his skull cracked and brain matter splattered under the force of the mallet. When I was done, I turned to face my men. They were staring, amazed at my vehemence.

"Al, tell me you brought the rocket launcher."

He nodded, going over the corner he had propped it up in. I followed, peering out at the many cop cars that lined the street. "Time to go home, boys."

I walked out the door, the mallet hanging by my side dripping blood and brains. Then I smiled wide as a clown and waved cheerily at the officers. "All of you for little ole Harley Quinn?"

"Put your hands up!" Yelled a voice through a megaphone.

I cupped my hand around my ear, leaning forward. "What was that? You need a man's cup? I don't have any jockstraps, sorry."

Al stepped out of the store, RPG-7 on his shoulder. The cops started shouting, running. I laughed when the explosion rocked the street, the heat of it burning on my skin. Then I led the guys to the vans and hopped into the Stingray. Frankie managed to squeeze half on the sidewalk and drove past the fire and screaming police. The vans followed, scraping a couple cars as they passed.

We led the police on a wild goose chase through Gotham. The vans eventually separated, a few cop cars peeling off to follow each one in turn. Frankie careened around corners and down alleys. There was only one car left following us when we passed the abandoned building atop the Toybox. He took a few more sharp curves and turned down another alleyway. But this one had a massive brick wall at the end of it.

"Frankie…"

He sped up and I reached out to smack his arm, "FRANKIE!"

He pulled out his cell and swiped on the screen before pressing his thumb on an app icon. The street in front of the wall broke and lowered into a ramp. We sped down the ramp onto another underground road and he tapped the icon again, the ramp raising to become regular street once more. Then he finally slowed to a normal speed and looked at me with a grin.

"J didn't tell you about this, huh?"

I scowled. "It looks like there's a lot my Puddin' doesn't tell me about."

Frankie laughed and drove through the underground tunnel. Before long we were on another ramp up and the wall at the top slid to the side. I blinked at the drastic change in light as we pulled into J's garage.

"Are you fucking kidding me? A secret entrance?!"

Frankie laughed again and parked, pulling the key from the ignition. "It's come in handy more than once."

The wall was just sliding closed when I jumped out of the car. I noticed the vans were back and followed Frankie to the second elevator, which was disguised as part of the wall. He tapped on his cell and the doors opened. Back we went to floor 72.

The guys were putting away all their guns when we walked into the offices. The loot from the jewelry heist was spilling out of bags on the massive conference table. I turned to Frankie. "The gold is mine. Everything else you and the boys can split."

He grinned, "Thanks, Harley."

"I'll send Ana or Marie down to pick it up when ya got everything sorted, yeah?"

He nodded, gesturing with his phone. "I'll text you when it's ready."

Then I walked through the main door and past the receptionist, who was busily typing on her computer. "Hello again, Miss Quinn."

"You know if Jonny and Mistah J are back yet?"

She glanced at her watch. "You just beat them. They're due back in half an hour."

"You, like, Mistah J's secretary or somethin'?"

She chuckled, "Something like that. I'm more here for show. Keep the busybodies out of things they don't need to know about."

I pursed my lips before nodding. Then I went to the elevator and pressed the button on the wall. It arrived and I walked in, waving to the woman as the doors closed. Once up in the penthouse I went to the second largest bedroom and started for the walk-in closet. Ana walked out, holding an empty hanger.

"Mrs. Harley!" She jumped, the hanger falling from her fingers. Then her eyes widened in fear. "I no done yet."

My hand waved dismissively, "It's fine, Ana."

"They tell me you say-"

"And now I'm saying it's fine."

She stared at me, unmoving. It was irritating. I frowned, "Just … just finish up, will ya? I'll be back later."

I left the bedroom and went to sit in front of the TV with my journal. _Damn woman ruining my mood._


	25. Chapter 25

An hour later I was organizing necklaces in my closet when I heard J's laughter drifting through the doorway. I dropped what I was holding and rushed out to find him. He was in the kitchen with Jonny and Frankie, holding a crystal glass of grape soda when I walked in. Six eyes turned to me and I grinned. "Hi, boys."

"You had quite the day, I hear." J put the glass on the counter and opened his arms. I ran over and jumped into them, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him.

"I missed you, Puddin'."

"Me too, baby." He set me on my feet and picked up his cup, taking a long swig.

"So what did you do today?"

His eyes glittered. "Oh, I'm gonna show ya."

"Yeah?" I smirked up at him. "When?"

"Soon."

My mind flashed back to his plans for revenge and I giggled. There were quite the number of them. _Which one, which one, which one will it be_ sang in my head.

"You gonna need us tonight, boss?"

"The more, the merrier, Frankie." J looked at the man with a smile. "If any of your crew want in, tell them to carry extra. The forecast calls for a high chance of caped interference."

Jonny frowned, but said nothing. Frankie nodded and left the room. I looked to J and he gestured toward the dining room, "Dinner."

That's when I realized how hungry I was. As we ate together, I told him I wanted Frankie to be my Jonny.

J chuckled, "You like him that much?"

"He saved my ass today. Nearly got my head blown off cuz some piece a shit lied ta me. If it weren't for Frankie tackling me, I wouldn'ta made it outta DeBure's."

He frowned, "Frankie didn't tell me that part."

"I killed them all. I was gonna let 'em go, too."

"No matter. You want Frankie, he's yours."

I grinned. "Thanks, Puddin'."

We finished eating and J told me to wait by the piano while he got ready for our big night. I was surprised to see a young man sitting at the white grand piano, playing a melody I'd never heard before. He smiled and introduced himself as Elliot, but never stopped the flourishing of his fingers.

I was standing at the window, looking out over the twinkling lights of Gotham at night, when J's voice sounded behind me. "Dance with me."

I spun, startled. And then I saw him. My mouth dropped open, heart skipping a beat. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was wearing a full tuxedo with tails, a purple and gold cane in one hand. He has never looked better. _What I wouldn't give to rip that offa him right now._

My voice was low and sultry when I murmured, "Hubba, hubba."

He grinned, crossing the room to take my hand. The cane he left propped against one of the windows and then I was in his arms, spinning around the room. It wasn't a waltz but something uniquely our own. I felt like I was dancing among the stars, clouds beneath our feet. The way he looked at me while we moved about the floor … I never seen love like that before. I know I was staring in his eyes with devotion, my heart so overflowing with love for him that I thought it would explode.

We danced for a while, enthralled with each other. He finished by dipping me upside down and the music drew to a sweet finale. As he pulled me upright, he brushed a white gloved thumb across my cheek. "It's your Gotham debut, honey."

I grinned. "Let's have some fun."

He pulled out his phone and sent out a mass text. Jonny was waiting for us down in the garage. He held open the rear door of a purple Lamborghini and I climbed in. J walked around to the passenger side and got in the front. I noticed something as Jonny slid into his seat.

"Hey, my mallet!" I picked it up off the floor. "Who cleaned it?"

"I think it was Iggy." Jonny started the car and drove to the secret entrance. _I don't know that one…_

The wall popped inward and slid to the side, and we were in the underground tunnel. I bounced my head to the beat of the music playing through the speakers and did that sort of shimmy-wiggle car dance. When the chorus started I threw my arms in the air and belted out the lyrics at the top of my lungs.

J jumped and growled, " _Har-ley!_ "

He turned in his seat, searing me with irritated stormy eyes. My lips pinched closed and I dropped my hands into my lap. "Sorry, Puddin'."

We drove for a short while before surfacing. "This ain't the alley. … How many fucking secret entrances you got stashed around Gotham?"

J snickered. "You want a map, baby?"

I huffed. "Yeah, I think I do."

He just laughed. Jonny drove a little while longer before finally pulling into Gotham Water Treatment. I knew instantly what we were doing there and giggled, slowly growing to full blown laughter. The car stopped in front of a fleet of white work vans and we got out. I stepped over to J, hooking my arm around his.

"Is it time for payback, Puddin'?"

"You know it, Pumpkin."

Jonny led us inside, where dozens of men lined the hallways. All the electronic door locks were green, having been beeped through, one man stationed at each door to keep it open. It was like following a trail of breadcrumbs to the room where jackhammers ate away at the floor. When they were through, other men stepped forward and shoveled away debris from the massive pipeline underneath. Then others moved in with blowtorches and cut away a large section off the top, exposing the lifeline of the city. This was the last stop before the water flowed through smaller pipes and reached the taps of every Gotham citizen.

Through the door came a half dozen guys with dollies carting bright yellow barrels. They approached the hole in the floor and arranged the barrels around it. We crossed to the group around the hole, J spinning his cane as he walked, and I saw that the barrels were stamped _Ace Chemicals_. I looked at Jonny and he confirmed my suspicions. "We were already there that night, getting these. That's why I got to you guys so quickly."

J popped off the basketball sized rubber seal and tossed it aside. The stench that effused from the yellow-green liquid inside made my eyes water.

"What is that stuff?"

"Poison." J said simply and he knocked over the barrel, it's contents gurgling into the water supply.

"I know that. I just meant what specifically."

"Who gives a shit?" **_Good point. As long as it does the job and shows Batman who he's dealing with._**

Something whistled as it flew past and lodged into the man standing next to J. He dropped to the ground, a batarang sticking out of his chest. J tossed his head back and laughed. "We've got a bat in the belfry!"

I spun, lifting my eyes in search of him. Gunfire rang out all around me and J was grabbing my hand, yanking me to the side of the room. The muzzles of the firing guns moved like a flock of birds as the men tracked their foes. The "heroes" dropped in the center of the group, two dark flashes that disappeared amidst the bodies. A few of J's men continued to shoot as they'd dropped, catching their own in the crossfire.

"Idiots." I muttered. The sounds of punches landed and the grunts of fighting men converged. I watched the fray, absorbed, trying to catch a glimpse of the men I despised. Then a crashing sounded and my head snapped to the barrels, where J had just pushed over another one. I rushed over to him and gripped the seal on the third, yanking it off. And then I pushed, throwing my body weight against the barrel. _These fuckers are a lot heavier than they look._

I turned and put my back against it, planting my feet firmly and using my legs to press backwards. I heard the clang of another barrel tipping over and strained harder. Finally it started to tip but I couldn't catch myself in time. It fell and I tumbled over it, shrieking. Someone grabbed onto my elbow, their forearm pressed to mine, and I hung over the rushing water for a half a second before I was pulled back. Jonny placed his hand on my shoulder, making sure I was steady on my feet before letting go.

"You ok?"

"Robin!" Yelled a deep voice from the middle of the fighting men.

"On it!" Yelled another voice and a man in a dark red and black suit vaulted over the heads of our boys in our direction, cape flying behind him

"Help J!" I ordered Jonny and picked up my mallet, swinging back like it was a baseball bat as I rushed forward.

Robin landed a few feet in front of me and I swung with all my might, smashing it into his shoulder. He was taller than I thought he was gonna be. I was aiming for his head. He stumbled sideways and fell to the floor but flipped back onto his feet in seconds. The eyes in the black mask stared quizzically as he spun the silver staff in his hands in circles around his body. "Who're you?"

I giggled and raised the mallet over my head. I aimed for his head again, but the staff knocked it and my momentum aside and I stumbled. He rushed past and grabbed one of the barrels, pulling on the rim until he had it standing. I growled and ran at him, swinging my weapon through dead air when he ducked. He spun to face me, whipping the staff like a bat and I backflipped. It jabbed at my chest when I righted but I bent backwards out of the way. Back and forth we went, trading near blows. Then I caught one in the stomach and grunted, falling to the ground. Robin grabbed onto another barrel, and yanked it upright.

"Harley!" J's voice, calling from the side of the room.

I snarled as I looked up at the Boy Wonder and jumped to my feet. I ran at him, launching myself onto his back and yanking the handle of my mallet against his throat. He reared back, dropping the staff and grabbing at me but I hung from the mallet, my toes just barely brushing the ground. I pulled as hard as I could and heard a satisfying gurgle.

He gripped my wrists and lifted me off of him, throwing me over his head. I hit the wall upside down and slid down to land on my head. I laughed as I got to my feet, spinning the mallet in a circle in front of me. "Let's go, birdie."

I rushed forward at him, caught completely off my feet by someone grabbing around my midsection and hauling ass sideways. I shrieked in rage and elbowed Frankie in the face before I realized it was him. "What are you doin'?!"

He didn't answer and ran out of the room into a different hallway than the one through which we'd entered. Frankie powered through the hallways until we were outside in a dark alleyway. J was leaning against the building but Jonny was nowhere to be seen. I was finally placed on my feet and I smacked him.

"What'd ya do that for? I was havin' fun."

"Batman was nearly finished with those guys. You really wanna go two on one with the Bat and his sidekick?"

I growled but turned away, looking at J. "They're gonna stop the poison."

"I made my point." He grinned, sweeping a hand at the lights that glimmered, a million lives in a million windows. "The loss of life will be catastrophic."

I sneered. "Not enough."

J laughed. "My little monster."

"After everything they did to you in the name of 'saving the city,' you're damn right." I snarled.

"Where's Jonny?" Frankie moved the gun hanging on his back to his front, fingering the trigger as he looked around the alley.

"Getting the car."

 _ **Kill them all, the worthless sacks of flesh in this city.**_ _If the Bat can lose control, so can we hahaha!_ _He fights to protect these people; the perfect payback is slaughtering every last one._

Frankie started down the alley and I moved to follow, then stopped and turned around to face J. "This is what you been workin' on since we left Arkham?"

"I've been planning this for months." He grinned.

"Ya shoulda gotten more barrels."

His smile widened as he approached me, placing one palm on my cheek. "Your unquenchable thirst for death and destruction only make me love you more."

I threw my arms around his neck, dropping the mallet in the process, and pressed my lips to his passionately. It was the first time he'd said he loved me and I was filled with delight at his confession. He turned, walking me backward until I was pinned against the wall and slid his hand down from my face to curl around my throat. I moaned at his forceful touch, arousal flooding between my lower lips.

A distinct flapping sounded then and J pulled away, whirling. A dark figure landed a short distance away, slowly rising to his feet, and my eyes laid on the Dark Knight for the first time. I scowled, moving away from the wall to pick up my weapon.

"You won't get away with this, Joker."

He laughed, "I already have, Batman. There's no antidote."

"Not yet."

I cackled. "You think you can make one in time? … One little sip and they're dead."

The Bat's eyes turned to me, recognition flashing in them. "It can't be … Dr. Quinzel?"

I laughed harder, the mallet spinning in my hands. "Sorry, Bats. She's dead." My grin was wicked as I arched my brows and lifted my hands by my shoulders. "I'm Harley Quinn."

He looked back at J with fury in his eyes. "What did you do?"

Joker doubled over in laughter and I couldn't help but giggle. "My Puddin' gave me an opportunity. And I just … jumped."

Batman scowled and rushed at J. I swung my mallet, barely catching him below one pointed ear on his cowl, and he stumbled against the wall. He whirled and ran at me, grabbing my upper arms and slamming me against the opposite wall. The pain of it washed through me, eliciting another giggle.

"Oh, you know I love it rough, Batsy."

He frowned, shaking me a little. "I can help you, Doctor."

"Like you helped _him_?" I snarled. "Like you _damaged him?!_ "

I smacked the mallet into his side and he released one arm to grab it and toss it down the alley. The arm he'd released whipped upward and I punched him square across the jaw. I heard a gun cock and he turned, revealing J behind him with one arm outstretched, the muzzle of his Colt pointed at the "hero's" head.

" _Let. Her. Go._ "

Bullets rang from down the alley, Frankie's voice yelling incoherently. I ripped my other arm from the Bat's grip and rushed to pick up my mallet. Headlights swung behind Frankie, his shadow stretching toward us. A second gun started firing, Jonny leaning out the window as he drove past Frankie in our direction.

Batman pulled some kind of gun from his belt, aiming nearly straight up. A grapple shot from the end, hooking onto something, and he flew upwards. I growled, my eyes following him, wishing I had my own gun. Jonny stopped a few yards away, the headlights illuminating us. I heard Frankie's heavy footsteps running down the alley.

"Time to go, honey." J gripped my wrist, pulling me behind him as he made for the car. I opened the rear door as he got in the front, leaving it open for Frankie. He got in a few seconds later.

Tires squealed as Jonny slammed on the gas, the rear wheels drifting slightly before the vehicle shot forward. He careened down the alley, spinning the wheel at the end to take the corner hard. We sped around the city, Frankie continuously turning to look behind us.

"What're you looking for?"

"The Batmobile." He answered.

"The Batmobile, the Jokermobile." I leaned forward, pouting at J, "When do I get a Quinnmobile?"

He chuckled. "You can have any of my cars."

"But I want _my own_."

He turned, eyeing me with a grin. "Then you shall have one."

A huge smile overtook my features and bounced excitedly in my seat. "Yay!"

The Bat and Bird never showed on our tail, but Jonny still took a secret entrance back to the high rise. When we got back to the penthouse, J turned the TV to the local news station. They were reporting on my crime spree, a picture of me blowing a kiss in the upper corner of the screen. I squealed excitedly and jumped up and down on the couch.

"I never been on TV before!"

J frowned slightly at my antics, "Harley, sit down."

I jumped one last time, landing on my ass and wiggling until I was comfortable.

"Just who is Harley Quinn, and what does her arrival mean for Gotham?" said the female news anchor.

"Police are questioning if she has any connection to the established criminals in this city, or if she is a newcomer in her own right. If you have any information on this woman or her string of robberies today, contact the Gotham PD by calling the number on the bottom of your screen." The male anchor picked up his stack of papers and tapped them into a neat pile.

"Or just wait a few hours and see who she's with." J cracked.

We watched the news until a Breaking Report graphic flashed on the screen. The normally serious eyes of the reporters turned grave and solemn. "Do not drink the water! We have just been informed that there is poison in the water supply. Emergency Departments across the city are flooding with the sick. Thus far, no antidote has been discovered, and the total dead have already reached over 200."

"Commissioner Gordon has informed us that Batman has taken a sample of the poison to Gotham S.T.A.R. Labs in the hopes that an antidote can be developed. We will update you as new information comes to light."

I bounced in my seat, giggling madly. J pulled a joint from his pocket and lit it with his zippo, taking a long drag before holding it my direction. I plucked it from his fingers and sucked on the end, inhaling the smoke deeply into my lungs. We smoked for a long while, watching the death toll rise as minutes passed. Eventually we went to bed, but not before the number of fatalities broke one thousand.


	26. Chapter 26

Total dead: 2687. Turns out Batman sent Boy Wonder to bleed the drinking water into the river separating Gotham from Metropolis, which is why he wasn't in the alley. Also why the final death toll was so damn low. I was more mad about it than J was. He was so unconcerned over breakfast that I got even more frustrated.

"Dammit, why don't you care that they got in the way _again_?!"

"Because my plans aren't over yet." He grinned at me. "You think my revenge could take place in one night?"

A slow smirk spread over my face. "Tell me."

He chuckled, "It will be more fun to show you."

"Well what are we going to do today?"

"Today we stay home."

I pouted and he chuckled again. "It's a very special day, Harley. … I'm gonna mark you."

I thought of the bruises he'd left on my neck after the first time we'd fucked and furrowed my brows in confusion. "You've done that before …"

He just grinned and shook his head. When we were done eating he brought me to the master bathroom and the filled Jacuzzi tub, climbing inside. I joined him, the steaming bubbly liquid reminding me of the vats that had created us. He pulled me to him, his arms wrapping around my back as he kissed me. I buried my fingers in his hair, my tongue swirling against his. His hair bunched in my hands and I pulled against the roots, eliciting a wonderful groan from him. He responded my winding my long strands around one fist and yanking. My lips separated from his as my head bent backward, a grunt breaking through them. His mouth was on my neck then, lips moving against the most tender areas and making me moan. Metal teeth grazed my skin and I shuddered.

"Daddy's been thinking about cutting you again."

"Mmmmm. Give me pain, Puddin', I wanna cum."

"I want to, Harley girl. So badly." He pulled harder on my hair and I gasped. "I think about hitting you so hard it leaves bruises because every one of them is proof of our love. I want my knife to slice your flesh so we can lick it clean while your cunt spasms with glee."

I groaned, lifting my head to look him in the eyes and shifted so my knees were either side of his legs. I reached between us and pumped his swollen member a few times before guiding it to my opening. "I want you to get fucked by groups of men, me listening to you screaming for their cum, my smoldering eyes branding your very soul." I moaned again, my hips bucking as I slid my hungry cunt up and down his shaft. _A gangbang all to myself? Yes, please._

"I want you to be able to taste fresh pussy and laugh with me as we discard her because she doesn't matter. None of them matter but me and you, my hands around your neck, cumming as I'm buried deep in your wonderful ass. You cumming so hard you can't even make any coherent sounds, just blissful grunts of pleasure and desire. … With me, all this can be yours, baby girl."

"Oh god, _yes_ , Daddy. I can't wait to feel your blades on my skin and your cock in my ass. Anything you ask of me is yours as long as you keep fucking me."

"That's my girl." His teeth latched onto my neck and I cried out in bliss, my hips bouncing faster.

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 _[{Author's Note: As should be obvious, this chapter isn't finished. Not even close! But, unfortunately, it's the last I've written. I do ABSOLUTELY intend to continue this fic. However, life is insane. I have three young kids, one with a chronic medical issue, so I have no idea when I'll get the time to write more. My sincere apologies for taking down so many chapters for so long - I really had just intended to do some quick edits and get them back up again. This little blurb/unfinished chapter is my sorry attempt to make up for all that by giving you guys every last sentence I had written.}]_


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